Dictator Reveals Putin’s Wet Dream of a ‘New World Order’

By Shannon Vavra

In a newly released letter, notorious Putin ally Alexander Lukashenko essentially urges world leaders to let Moscow run rampant.

Pete Davidson Isn’t SNL’s Biggest Loss. It’s Aidy Bryant.

By Allegra Frank

The media melted down into a frenzy over Davidson’s exit from the sketch show. But any true fan knows that Bryant’s singular presence is what will be missed the most.

Witness Casts Doubt on Depp’s Story About His Severed Finger

By Sean Piccoli

The incident is a key flashpoint in his allegations of domestic violence against Amber Heard.

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Biden Reveals Red Line That Would Spark War With China

By Donald Kirk

Pointing to Putin’s Ukraine disaster, the president pokes Beijing in its sorest spot, saying “the idea that it could be taken by force will dislocate the entire region.”

Treating Long COVID May Get a Lot Easier With This New Tool

By Miriam Fauzia

It’s hard to see the damages inflicted on the lungs after a COVID-19 infection—but AI could show us the way.

We Must Unravel Jupiter’s Cryptic Origin Story to Find ET

By David Axe

Why the King of Planets could help us find life on other planets.

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Elizabeth II Takes Her Swanky New Queenmobile for a Ride

By Tom Sykes

The queen is suffering mobility issues, which the latest addition to the royal fleet should help her manage.

Kourtney Kardashian Married Travis Barker in Goth Style

By Helen Holmes

The two exchanged vows clad in Dolce & Gabbana in an Italian castle, and their families adhered to the vampiric couture dress code before, during, and after the ceremony.

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1. Judge Roasts Rioter’s Sneaky Request to Go on Cabo Vacation

 BOONDOGGLE 

The judge did not seem too pleased that Jason Douglas Owens applied for an “emergency” request to travel weeks after he booked the trip.

2. Ethics Committee Probing Cawthorn’s ‘Improper’ Relationship

 MORE WOES 

The outgoing congressman is also under investigation for prompting a cryptocurrency he had a financial interest in.

3. Amber Heard’s Team Won’t Call Johnny Depp Back to the Stand

 ‘BICYCLE TO A FISH’ 

“Everything Depp has testified up to this point has been irrelevant to the heart of this case, and there’s no reason to believe it would be any different now,” a source said.

4. Cops Want to Grill This Man in Shocking Subway Shooting

 HAVE YOU SEEN HIM? 

Cops also released a photo of a suspect wanted in the shooting that killed 48-year-old Goldman Sachs employee Daniel Enriquez.

5. Kellyanne Conway: There Was No ‘Deal’ With My Husband

 FOR WORSE 

The couple is still together.

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