Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, Oct 9 __________________________________________________ History 1995, Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring a hundred. ____________________________________________________ Q With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. --- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ) It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Convicted child molester arrested in Tucson on new charges __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ An Indian chief thinks it's going to be a cold winter. So he instructs his tribe to collect firewood. To double- check his prediction, the chief calls the National Weather Service and asks a meteorologist if the winter is going to be a cold one. The man responds, "According to our indicators, we think it might." So the chief tells his people to find extra wood, just in case. A week later he calls the National Weather Service again, and they confirm that a harsh winter is headed their way. The chief orders all of his people to scavenge every scrap of wood they can. Two weeks later he calls the National weather Service again and asks, "Are you absolutely sure this winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replies. "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy." __________________________________________________________ NASA misplaced their $159 mil Contour space craft somewhere over the Indian Ocean while attempting to boost same into orbit. (USA Today) The FBI has vowed to join in the search as soon as they find their laptops. ________________________________________________________   Mike Jackisch Blue Jay, SW Calgary, Oct. 07 2023 ___________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Our Lamaze Class Included A Tour Of The Pediatric Wing Of The Hospital. When A New Baby Was Brought Into The Nursery, All The Women Tried To Guess Its Weight, But The Guy Standing Next To Me Was The Only Male To Venture A Number. "Looks Like 9 Pounds," He Offered Confidently. "This Must Not Be Your First," I Said. "Oh, Yes," He Said. "It's My First." "Then How Would You Know The Weight Of A Baby?" I Asked. He Shrugged. "I'm A Fisherman." ___________________________________________________ No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. When your Mom is MAD at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. Never trust an overweight teenager to watch your food. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. Writing on desks and getting caught can teach you more Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic- tac. Puppies will probably have worse breath after eating a whole bowl of tic-tacs The carpet will have really really bad breath when you feed the puppy cotton candy to try to sweeten his breath and he pukes. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. OK, try it but just once OK, but stop when you run out of cats. School lunches stick to the wall. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere-and let the air out of their tires. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Forget the health food. Try preservatives instead. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. Two pounds of candy can make a person gain five pounds. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever. When you get to the stage of life when you know all the answers,people will stop asking you the questions. Time is an amazing healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes. __________________________________________________   Daniel Patrick Western Tanager, Alberta ____________________________________________________ A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one- third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) _____________________________________________________ An Indian chief thinks it's going to be a cold winter. So he instructs his tribe to collect firewood. To double- check his prediction, the chief calls the National Weather Service and asks a meteorologist if the winter is going to be a cold one. The man responds, "According to our indicators, we think it might." So the chief tells his people to find extra wood, just in case. A week later he calls the National Weather Service again, and they confirm that a harsh winter is headed their way. The chief orders all of his people to scavenge every scrap of wood they can. Two weeks later he calls the National weather Service again and asks, "Are you absolutely sure this winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replies. "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy." _____________________________________________________ NASA misplaced their $159 mil Contour space craft somewhere over the Indian Ocean while attempting to boost same into orbit. (USA Today) The FBI has vowed to join in the search as soon as they find their laptops. ___________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Eldred Re: Difference between Chrome and Edge? DearWebby, What is the difference between Chrome and Edge? On my machine Edge seems ro work exactly the same as Chrome, I just don't like the way it slithered in. Eldred  Dear Eldred, As you probably noticed, Edge stole all the settings and preferences from Chrome and does it's best to make you think you are still in Chrome. The only difference seems to be the that instead of Google harvesting and selling your data, Microsoft is. Since you are not a terrorist or doing anything illicit, who cares? Somebody, either Google or Microsoft, and Amazon and eBay, records and files how often you buy certain pills and Chinese frying pans. So what? Who cares? Let them harvest and file your data. If you are concerned, just make yourself a new address on Gmail and a PayPal account with that name. Then let them file each purchase of Catnip and CBD oil and Slim-Fast pills that Col Svetlana Putinovitch places. Play their silly game and let them file all of Colonel Svetlana's browsing and whatever. It makes no difference to you. As you probably noticed, Edge stole all the settings and preferences from Chrome and does it's best to make you think you are still in Chrome. The only difference seems to the that instead of Google harvesting your data, Microsoft is. Since you are not a terrorist or doing anything illicit, who cares? Somebody, either Google or Microsoft, and Amazon and eBay, records and files how often you buy certain pills and Chinese frying pans. So what? Who cares? Let them harvest and file your data. It makes no difference to you. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ NASA misplaced their $159 mil Contour space craft somewhere over the Indian Ocean while attempting to boost same into orbit. (USA Today) The FBI has vowed to join in the search as soon as they find their laptops. ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Our Lamaze Class Included A Tour Of The Pediatric Wing Of The Hospital. When A New Baby Was Brought Into The Nursery, All The Women Tried To Guess Its Weight, But The Guy Standing Next To Me Was The Only Male To Venture A Number. "Looks Like 9 Pounds," He Offered Confidently. "This Must Not Be Your First," I Said. "Oh, Yes," He Said. "It's My First." "Then How Would You Know The Weight Of A Baby?" I Asked. He Shrugged. "I'm A Fisherman." ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Brian Edward Perdue, 46, Tucson, Arizona, USA  Convicted child molester arrested in Tucson on new charges  The Tucson Police Department announced the arrest of a man who was already convicted for crimes against children. 46-year-old Brian Edward Perdue was arrested September 27 by Tucson Police after serving a search warrant at his home with the assistance of Homeland Security Investigations, the FBI and the Arizona Attorney Generals Office. TPD says its Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force was alerted by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children that a Tucson search engine user had uploaded more than 200 images of child sexual abuse material. During the serving of the search warrant, police say they found more than 600 images of child sexual abuse material on one of two cell phones. Perdue now faces ten counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, as well as several sex offender registry offenses. Perdue had recently been granted early release from prison after being convicted of child molestation, child sexual abuse, and access with intent to view child pornography. ________________________________________________ >From Linda THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY THOMAS COOK VACATIONS FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS: 1. I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts. 2. Its lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time this should be banned. 3. On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I dont like spicy food. 4. We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price. 5. The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room. 6. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand was white but it was more yellow. 7. They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax. 8. No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared. 9. Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers. 10. We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish. 11. The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun. 12. It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair. 13. I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller. 14. The brochure stated: No hairdressers at the resort. Were trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service. 15. There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners. 16. We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning. 17. It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel. 18. I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes. 19. My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked. _________________________________________________ History On Oct 9, In 1635, Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against punishments for religious offenses and giving away land that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek religious freedom. 1701, The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 1776, A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is now San Francisco, CA. 1781, The last major battle of the American Revolutionary War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led by George Washington, defeated the British troops under Lord Cornwallis. 1812, During the War of 1812 American forces captured two British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 1855, Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 1855, Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 1858, Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, and St. Louis, MO, began. 1872, Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later became Montgomery Wards. 1876, Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 1888, The public was admitted to the Washington Monument for the first time. 1914, During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 1919, The Cincinnati Reds won the World Series. The win would be later tainted when 8 Chicago White Sox were charged with throwing the game. The incident became known as the "Black Sox" scandal. 1930, Aviator Laura Ingalls landed in Glendale, CA, to complete the first solo transcontinental flight across the U.S. by a woman. 1935, "Cavalcade of America" was first broadcast on CBS radio. 1936, The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was later changed to Hoover Dam. 1940, St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 1946, "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 1946, The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 1975, Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 1983, Helen Moss joined the Brownies at the age of 83. She became the oldest person to become a member. 1986, U.S. District Judge Harry E. Claiborne became the fifth federal official to be removed from office through impeachment. The U.S. Senate convicted Claiborne of "high crimes and misdemeanors." 1986, The musical "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber opened in London. 1989, The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 1994, The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 1995, Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring a hundred. 2000, Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing him to number 9. 2003, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 2009, NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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