Hi John,

There’s a reason we call the skills we teach crucial skills: they help us show up better in crucial moments. If they can’t help then, then when?

Nowhere do the moments get more crucial than in the home.
Discussing Gender Transition
by Emily Gregory

My niece recently turned 18 and is planning to schedule an elective double mastectomy. For the past few years she has identified as non-binary, then she legally changed her name, and more recently she has started taking estrogen blockers that make her voice low. Her dad and mom think that she’s brave and strong. My mom is 100% supportive. I think they’re all insane, and I’ve told them perhaps she’s just confused and that maybe we should encourage her to postpone having body parts surgically removed. They think I’m being intolerant and unsupportive. I haven’t shared my concerns with my niece, but I think I need to try to stop her. Should I keep my mouth shut and watch from the sidelines, or tell her what I really think? If so, how?

Signed,
Opposed

Conversations don’t get much more crucial than this. There are differing opinions, very strong emotions, and the stakes are incredibly high (family relationships, mental health and well-being, and lasting medical interventions). Variations of this conversation are happening in families, doctors’ offices, communities, schools, and legislatures across the country. Often, the conversations are divisive and painful, leaving people emotionally battered, bruised, and deeply disconnected from one another.
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March 18–22

Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue

Join us live online and learn how to:

  • Resolve conflict.
  • Speak your mind truthfully and tactfully.
  • Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
  • Navigate the most important interactions at home and work.
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The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love—whether we call it friendship or family or romance—is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other's light.
 
—James Baldwin