Hello there on this tech-tastic Monday! Speaking of hellos, what do you say when you answer the phone? “Hello,” of course — and that’s thanks to Thomas Edison. His rival, Alexander Graham Bell, thought phones should be answered with something different. Was it … A.) “Ahoy,” B.) “All right,” C.) “Howdy” or D.) “Salutations”? You’ll find the answer at the end.

✅ This newsletter is free because of my great sponsors. Support our work today by taking just a sec to check out TotalAV. Award-winning antivirus protection across five devices for just $19? Yes, please! Btw, I get no kickbacks or residuals if you buy. — Kim

Last year, a Hawaii couple was convicted of living for decades under the identities of dead babies. Stories like this always disgust me, but after this long in tech, they don’t surprise me.

Crooks have no shame, folks: 2% of identity theft cases reported to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) last year involved the personal info of Americans age 19 or younger. Many more go unreported, partly because they aren’t discovered until the victim attempts to apply for their first loan or credit card.

Once thieves get your kid’s Social Security number, they only need basic info found easily online, like their address, name and date of birth, to take out a loan or line of credit in their name.

Worse, you might be making these common mistakes that put your kid’s credit at risk — and you won’t realize it until it’s way too late.

Identity swiper, no swiping!

Here’s how to keep thieves from stealing your kid’s data.

Step 1: Freeze your kid’s credit

• Check their credit report (instructions here).
• No one should have a credit report until they’re an adult, so no credit report is good news! If there is one, you know there’s a problem.
• Ask the credit agencies to freeze your child’s credit. Do this as soon as you get their Social Security number.
• Going forward, monitor their credit report just like you monitor your own. Go to annualcreditreport.com and sign up for alerts. You can read my full advice here.

Step 2: Protect their info

• Be skeptical: Identity thieves can be anyone from a relative, someone collecting payments at the doctor’s office or even a soccer coach. Be wary about handing over your kid’s SSN.
• Lock it up: Put physical SSN cards and birth certificates in a fireproof document box and lock down digital copies with multifactor authentication or passwords.
• Be social-savvy: Be careful about posting key identifying info related to your kid, like their birth date or physical address. No more pics of driving permits, either, OK?

Step 3: Show your kid the ropes

Gen Alpha, kids age 14 and younger, may be growing up with the internet, but that doesn’t mean they have adult judgment. Warn them of these common traps:

• “Personality” quizzes that are fronts for data miners.
• Questions from strangers on social media or video game chats.
• Phishing emails; most kids have email addresses by the time they’re in their teens.
• Handing over any info to curious strangers online.

⚡️ Share this important tip with anyone you know who has kids. It could save them and their kids a lifetime of stress. Use the handy icons below. You can make a difference!

The days of easy virus detection are long gone. It’s not about sticking to “safe” sites anymore — malware can even pop up at the top of your Google search results. That’s why you need a trusted antivirus solution on your side.

I’m not talking about free options you can find in the app store, by the way. At best, they aren’t good enough to keep up with today’s threats. At worst, they’re stealing your info or even planting malicious software.

I use and trust TotalAV. You get total protection on five devices — and it’s only $19 for the first year. Amazing deal that I negotiated just for you!

🚫 Just days away: The House just passed the TikTok sell-or-ban bill again, but with a twist: It was bundled with urgent foreign aid bills supporting Ukraine and Israel, plus humanitarian support for Gaza. Next stop? The Senate, and, if it passes there, to President Biden’s desk for approval.

Rappin’ Lisa: Microsoft’s new AI tool, VASA‑1, animates still images into videos loaded with facial expressions, head motions and lip movements that match a speech or song. Here’s a video showing the Mona Lisa rapping. Microsoft is delaying the release of this tool, though, because it makes creating deepfakes too easy.

No phones in schools: That’s the goal, but parents want 24/7 access to their kiddos. Colorado’s Brush School District (paywall link) thinks it has the solution: Keep phones out of sight, and only use them with a teacher’s approval. And if the kids get caught, they have their phones taken away for the remainder of the school day. Share this one with a teacher.

Start saving up now: Laptop tech has been stagnant for years, but the times, they are a-changin’. Computer makers are using chips that allow laptops to run large-scale AI models directly on the device. You’ll get better performance, tighter security and less reliance on the cloud (paywall link) — but expect laptop prices to skyrocket.

Smoke and mirrors: The fourth bitcoin "halving" just slashed mining rewards in half — from 6.25 to 3.125 per block. Translation: Bitcoin will become 50% harder to find. This is the oldest marketing trick in the book. As it gets rarer, it becomes more valuable, and more people buy in at that increased price … until they stop buying altogether and it all crashes. Remember: The intrinsic value of bitcoin is exactly zero.

🥳 Treat yo'-self: Amazon will give you a $100 gift card when you buy the latest Samsung Tab S6 Lite tablet. Grab the 64GB version for $330 or the 128GB version for $400. Specs include a 10.4-inch display, Dolby Atmos surround sound, up to 14 hours of battery life and S Pen compatibility.

An $80,000 paperweight: That’s what one Cybertruck owner thought he had after taking his new toy through a car wash. The truck’s console screen went black as he rolled into the garage. After a hard reset (and five hours!), it powered on again. The damage caused by failing to put the Cybertruck in Car Wash mode voids its warranty. Yikes.

Free AI test drive: Nothing has changed our lives quite like AI has — and will. That’s why you need to start using AI in your business before it’s too late. Take a free test drive of Oracle Cloud Infrastructure now at Oracle.com/kim. No one does data better than Oracle.*

Secret (hand)shake: Try this next time you mistype something. Shake your phone quickly, and it’ll undo your most recently entered text. Works on Android and iPhone. You know, I’m really good at all this smartphone tech — I think I found my calling!

WHAT? Your iPhone has a hidden way to make calls sound clearer. To turn on Voice Isolation, answer a call, then swipe from the top right corner of your screen to open the Control Center. Tap Mic Mode > Voice Isolation.

Excel at this: Say you’re using Microsoft Excel, and you have a list of employees’ names in column A (e.g., John Doe, Jane Smith and Emily Jones), but you need to give them standard email addresses in column B. In column B, next to their name in column A, type the corresponding email address — think “jdoe@company⁠.⁠com” for the “John Doe” in column A. Now, the magic: Click on the cell where you typed the email address, and then press Ctrl + E. Excel will automatically “flash fill” the column with email addresses following your pattern.

Student in the family? A student Amazon Prime account is a heck of a lot cheaper than the standard account. Students get six months free, then it’s half off for a year ($69).

Don’t stay unread: You need to email someone you don’t know. The subject line is your first place to grab their attention. Try “Referred to you by” or “Quick question” with the person’s name, like this: “Quick question, Kim.”

On the level: Check your blood oxygen levels, pulse rate and pulse strength with this fingertip monitor. This is especially useful when you have a respiratory infection and are wondering when to call a doc or go to the ER.

Cuff me: It’s important to monitor your blood pressure at home. This model connects to your phone via Bluetooth to store your readings, plus it's a bargain at 29% off ($35.29).

Tip the scale: See your weight displayed digitally in big numbers on this smart scale, or head to its app to see your weight and 12 other metrics, including your BMI. Right now, it’s 31% off ($23.99).

On the bright side, it only happens once a week.

The answer: A.) “Ahoy” was Alexander Graham Bell’s preferred opening line when answering the phone, and he used it his entire life.

What did one sailor say to the other when he yelled, “Land ahoy!”? “Arrr ye shore?” (Oh, you’re totally going to repeat that one, I know!)

💁‍♀️ If you’re online, you need antivirus software that moves faster than hackers and scammers. Don’t leave it up to chance. TotalAV is affordable and it just plain works. Protect your devices today for just $19. I’ll see you right back here tomorrow, friend. — Kim