Does Your Child Give You the Silent Treatment? 6 Rules for Getting Kids to Talk

By James Lehman, MSW
 
Some kids act out by giving us the silent treatment. The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you, and it’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. To us parents, it can be frustrating and hurtful. And for kids, it's a destructive way to learn to manage relationships. Here's what you can do as a parent if your child is giving you the silent treatment.
 
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How to Make Consequences Work for Your Oppositional-Defiant (ODD) Child


Why does it seem like consequences don't work for your oppositional, defiant child?

Just ask Kim Abraham, LMSW. Kim is a therapist who has worked with children and families for more than 25 years, and she raised a son with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD):

"I realized the parenting techniques I had been using with my son just weren't working — and I had tried everything, literally. I began developing my own approach, focused not only on raising my son more effectively, but on regaining the life and emotional well-being I'd lost over the years. Out of crisis came change...and hope."

Kim collaborated with Marney Studaker-Cordner, LMSW to create The ODD Lifeline, a specialized program that guides you through the chaos of parenting a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Conduct Disorder.

Listen to the personal stories shared throughout this program and you will realize that you are not alone. The ODD Lifeline helps you:
  • Create fail-proof consequences with easy-to-use worksheets
  • Prepare for stressful meetings with your child’s school
  • Work effectively with the police and juvenile authorities
  • Develop realistic hopes and expectations for your child using Kim’s exclusive methods
...and more.

The ODD Lifeline is just one of our award-winning parenting programs included with The Total Transformation® Online Package.

THE TOTAL TRANSFORMATION® ONLINE PACKAGE

One low price gets you full online access to ALL of the following programs:
  • The Total Transformation®
  • The Complete Guide to Consequences™
  • Getting Through to Your Child™
  • Two Parents, One Plan™
  • The ODD Lifeline™
  • Life Over the Influence™
Get your online access today for only $19.99 per month, a fraction of the cost of family counseling.

No minimum commitment—cancel anytime.
 
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Reviews


★★★★★ Love It - Deb S
"As a parent of 9 adoptive kiddos (all from hard places), The ODD Lifeline is a great reminder of all the things I need to do to be the best parent that my child needs me to be. This helped remind me that in all the craziness of my world that there is hope and there is a way to help raise our children to be all that God is calling them to be not to mention being able to maintain my sanity and laugh even in the midst of it all. Thanks"

★★★★ Finally...I realize that I am not the only parent who struggles - Lisah
"It is very isolating to have a child with ADHD/ODD. Everyone is quick to offer advise, an opinion, or cast judgment and it was making me want to just stay home and avoid all of it, for myself and my son. ODD Lifeline helped me take the focus of ME and place it where it belongs - on my son. I was able to verbalize to him very simple, specific terms how his behavior was no longer a reflection on me but was a direct reflection on HIS choices. This enable me to emotionally separate myself from the embarrassment of his behavior and helped reduce the tension in our relationship. My son is 8 years old and although he may never outgrow his ADHD/ODD, the Lifeline program and helped me realize I can teach him the skills he needs now to make his own decisions and receive his own rewards of consequences based on his choices."

★★★★ Realistic - Annie
"I have been trying different books and programs for my daughter's 15 years of life. Some, like the total transformation program, have been helpful but none really changed my daughter. She chooses to make her life more difficult by being oppositional. This book and program had a really helpful chapter on staying calm. It also gave perspectives that the current mental health world is not able to give. Keep the focus on the child, instead of holding the parent responsible for the child's behavior. I will say that once I had confidence to do this, health care professionals became more effective. Also, it gave me freedom and to realize that I am not responsible for changing her and I simply can't change her. I can only just keep giving consequences and be a role model."

★★★★★ Relationship saved - Country Mama
"I have had trouble with my ODD son since I got him at age 4, but nobody could really help me understand why he was such a brat and why nothing seemed to work. I just wish I had gotten this program years ago. It has really helped me (probably more than him) and has saved our relationship. I did not think we would get back what was lost. I love my son more than anything in this world, but his horrible behavior was making it very difficult. I now have a way to live and love my son. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!"

★★★★★ What A Relief! - TXSue
"The Total Transformation Program helped to stop the battles with my 12 year-old every day over everything. It has been such a wonderful relief. We still have work to do. But the great thing about the program is that I can go back to it again and again, and pick up new ideas each time. James gives you very specific examples and words to use. I would recommend that every parent try the program."


★★★★★ help when we needed itArmy Wife
"I loved this program. It taught me so much about not whether or not I'm a good parent, but if I'm an effective parent. That mindset is so important in me being able to keep my composure during heated situations." 

★★★★★ Guilt is gone - Mom of ADHD
"Great tips and skills and most of all took away that guilty conscious I always had for no reason! Thank you!" 
 
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