1.  Dozen National Guard Troops Pulled From Inauguration

 HOMEGROWN EXTREMISTS? 

At least two were accused of “inappropriate” posts or messages about the event specifically, and all were said to be linked to far-right militias or have extremist views.

2.  Trump Is Enraged by Biden’s A-List Inauguration Guests: WaPo

  GREEN-EYED MONSTER 

Trump is reportedly furious that the likes of Lady Gaga and Tom Hanks are appearing tomorrow after top celebs shunned his inauguration four years ago.

3.  These Towels Dry Me (and Themselves) Quicker Than Any Other

 QUICK DRY 

Radical transparency, meet bath towels.

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4.  QAnon Rep. Greene Pushed Parkland ‘False Flag’ Lies on FB

 A REAL RED FLAG 

“I am told that Nancy Pelosi tells Hillary Clinton several times a month that ‘we need another school shooting,’” she wrote in a 2018 Facebook post, Media Matters reports.

5.  Even Pence Is Skipping Trump’s Send-Off for Biden Inaug: CNN

 ICE-COLD 

Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy will join Pence in skipping Trump’s farewell.

6.  I Finally Found a Loofah That Isn’t Disgusting

 CLEAN FREAK 

I can throw my Evoltree loofah in the wash and never have to worry about bacteria or germs again.

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7.  Tearful Biden Remembers Late Son in Farewell to Delaware

 ‘WRITTEN ON MY HEART’ 

Beau Biden served as Delaware’s attorney general from 2007 to 2015, before succumbing to brain cancer.

8.  Judge Denies ‘Pharma Bro’ Shkreli’s Early Release Request

 JAIL MARY 

Shkreli, halfway through a seven-year prison sentence for fraud, had requested early release on mental health grounds.

9.  Tiffany Trump Announces Engagement as Dad’s Presidency Ends

 WEIRD TIMING 

Trump’s often-overlooked daughter took to Instagram to share her news on Tuesday.

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10.  QAnon Loyalists Cause Chaos During Ghislaine Maxwell Hearing

 MAXWELL-TO-DO 

At the hearing, a federal judge ordered the unsealing of documents related to a civil defamation suit against Maxwell by Epstein victim Virginia Roberts Giuffre.

11.  Andrew Yang Quarantining After Aide Gets COVID-19

  TIME OUT 

Yang’s campaign announced that he was quarantining just one day after appearing maskless at an MLK Day event in Harlem.

12.  TX Cop Stormed the Capitol—Then Lied About It to Feds: DOJ

 ‘SEE HISTORY’ 

Prosecutors said Tam Dinh Pham forgot to clear his deleted photos showing him inside the Capitol before handing over his phone to the FBI.

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13.  Tokyo Olympics Are a ‘Go’ Regardless of Vaccine Availability

 RISKY BUSINESS 

Olympic Committee officials haven’t released a plan on how the Games will take place yet, saying further information will come in March.

14.  Florida COVID Whistleblower Tests Positive for Virus in Jail

 OH THE IRONY 

Jones turned herself into authorities over the weekend, and faces charges of “computer crimes” after creating her own dashboard of state COVID cases.

15.  Maine Capitol Police Chief Under Fire for Social Media Posts

 ‘REPREHENSIBLE’ 

Dozens of lawmakers say Russell Gauvin should be put on leave during an investigation.

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