Phil Foden’s big rush back to be played out of position against Slovakia

Contrary to speculation – and very lonely teenage years – Football Daily has produced many children. We therefore know how completely and utterly tedious the early days of a newborn can be. All they do is sleep and produce very weird excrement while you wonder if the whole buildup to the big event has been worth it – very much like being an England fan.

Phil Foden has been here before - this is his third child - so the excitement levels must be similar to watching 90 minutes of England v Slovenia. He jetted off for 24 hours of paternity leave back in the UK before returning to Germany for his national duty of being played out of position against Slovakia on Sunday while the latest edition to his family naps through the whole process in a Three Lions sleep suit, sparing them the pain of the actual performance.

Changing nappies and not having much sleep would be light relief compared to cutting in off the left to find no movement in the vicinity but Foden is compelled to serve squad godfather Gareth Southgate. The Manchester City midfielder should be having a word with his union after a whistle-stop tour to the north-west to do a meet-and-greet with the latest member of his clan. He should be permitted a minimum of a statutory two weeks paternity leave, so whoever has negotiated this deal with the Football Association has not done their job properly. He will miss out on those precious moments of sticking his latest “little Phil” in the corner of the room and checking on them every half an hour or so to make sure they are oblivious to the world.

Coming into the Foden family is a highly-pressurised environment for any baby. Not only is dad one of the best footballers in the world with a plethora of team and individual honours but first-born Ronnie Foden already has four million instagram followers, putting your child to shame. Call yourself a parent when you can’t even get a five-year-old’s social media bandwagon up to six figures? Honestly. It looks unlikely their arrival will be overshadowed by the addition of a European Championship medal on the mantelpiece but if it is, maybe they will get another sibling nine months on from 14 July.

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“Just a few grazes and scratches. It was funny. I was coming down on my bike, I saw him and thought: ‘What’s happened there?’ I saw the graze on his chin and his nose and I burst out laughing. Some players were out in front and as I was coming down the hill, I saw Ant and he was lying there with his face bloodied, hands and chin. At least he wore his helmet” – after Anthony Gordon’s prang, Ezri Konsa sees the funny side of an incident that left the fleet-footed winger with an almighty graze on his chin, a bashed knee and damaged hand and may cause “turbo” bikes to banned by the England. Konsa also placed a hostage to fortune in suggesting a bike-related celebration if England ever score a goal again.

Re: football at festivals (yesterday’s Euro 2024 Daily letters). At Isle of Wight in 2004, a band pulled out so England v France went on the big screen. That didn’t end well and the screen darkened at full-time. Soon after, headliner David Bowie came on and, in reference to David Beckham’s missed penalty, said: ‘I’m not the only famous person with the initials DB in England, you know … But I’m the only one who’ll wake up with his balls intact tomorrow’” – Marionette.

May I jump on the doggie bandwagon started by ‘Tottenham Hotspaw’ (yesterday’s Euro 2024 Daily, full email edition). I guess they will have a right old time playing Leads United, Queen’s Bark Rangers and Milton Keynes Dogs. And one of them will just have to be managed by Kenny Dogleash” – Gerry Rickard.

Can we send Tottenham Hotspaw through the doggie door marked Do One?” – JJ Zucal.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … JJ Zucal. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

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What’s the German for “Pyrrhic victory?” Steve Clarke’s ref rage with Argentinian whistleblower Facundo Tello for waving a late Hungarian foul on Stuart Armstrong included the normally placid Scotland boss asking “why is he here?” Tello, famous back home for issuing 10 red cards in a Buenos Aires derby, has been sent home by Uefa, ending one part of a trans-federation agreement that sent Italian Maurizio Mariani to Copa América. In a further win for Clarke, Tello’s VAR, Alejandro Hernández has been stood down for “not evaluating the play as indicated in the instructions” though the non-award of a penalty was because the incident was “just physical contact”. Though another reason given for Hernández’s dismissal was also missing Grant Hanley’s elbow on Endre Botka. Clarke, whose future remains uncertain at best, may still face a Uefa charge for comments that included: “He probably doesn’t speak the language.”

In Odesa, a city attacked by Russian rockets, with daily power outages and air-raid sirens, documentary photographer Richard Morgan explores in this photo essay the extent to which the football is still important.

The families of England players were hit by flying plastic beer cups and “from all angles” during the Slovenia stalemate, Ezri Konsa has revealed. Gareth Southgate said those beers were meant for him: “I understand the narrative towards me and that’s better for the team than it being towards them.” Incidentally, beer cups returned to Euro 2024 stadia grant the sender €3.

Slovakia reckon they know the secret ingredient to beating England. “I think we can handle them through teamwork,” trilled captain Milan Skriniar.

Spain’s Alejandro Grimaldo isn’t happy that he and his teammates are now expected to win the Euros. “Being favourites doesn’t help us at all, we don’t want that pressure,” he howled.

And good news for zany vibes and solid defending in Germany’s backline, because Antonio Rüdiger has recovered from thigh-knack and trained before their match against Denmark on Sunday.

Luciano Spalletti fights on for Italy, and in his forever unconventional fashion, writes Nicky Bandini.

No Scotland, no party? Philipp Lahm already misses kilts and bagpipes of the Tartan Army filling the streets of Germany.

Ferran Torres marvels at the talent of Lamine Yamal as he gets his chat on with Sid Lowe while Barney Ronay wonders why England can’t be more like Austria.

Slovakia? Easy draw? Jacob Steinberg’s gone to Iceland 2016 to show the folly of such thinking. Paul MacInnes’ scouting report warns there may be plenty to fear.

Still, England have Marc Guehi, roars David Hytner, even if Jonathan Wilson predicts a grim affair in Gelsenkirchen as he breaks down each last-16 tie. Nick Ames meanwhile reflects on a group stage that showed that for the taints, international football has a purity the stench of club football cannot match.

Reading’s women’s team is staring into the abyss, with a finance deal that would have kept them in next season’s Championship set to collapse.

Timothy Weah saw early red and USA USA USA got done 2-1 by Panama in a chaotic Copa América tie, a defeat that leaves Gregg Berhalter on the brink of being told to do one. The USSF has meanwhile condemned the online racist abuse suffered by several of its players following a 2-1 defeat by Panama at the Copa América.

And Lionel Messi will be rested for Argentina’s final group game with Peru in hometown Miami to ward off the threat of ham-twang.

England v Slovakia, is it? Here’s a look back to October 2002 and David Beckham autographing Martin Petras’s body with his studs … and getting away without a red card during their Euro 2004 qualifier in Bratislava. It ended 2-1 to the visitors, courtesy of two goals from Michael Owen.