1.  FBI Was Warned of Possible ‘War’ Before Capitol Riot

 FORGOT ‘BOUT IT? 

“Go there ready for war. We get our President or we die,” read one quote from the report, which D.C. FBI officials were reportedly briefed on.

2.  Jim Jordan Still Refuses to Admit Biden Won

  ‘JIM! JEEZ!’ 

“I asked you a yes-or-no question. Please. We’re trying to bring this nation back together,” Rep. Ed Perlmutter told Jordan.

3.  I Have to Remind Myself Not to Wear This T-Shirt Every Day

 PERFECT FIT 

Buy one in a couple different colors—you’ll have it for years to come

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4.  Chuck Norris’ Rep Denies Actor Joined Capitol Insurrection

 MISTAKEN IDENTITY 

Norris’ manager tells The Daily Beast that the man pictured in a photo that’s spread across social media is a “wanna be look alike,” adding, “Chuck is much more handsome.”

5.  Pompeo Axes Europe Trip After Officials Refuse to Meet Him

 ICED OUT 

The State Department head was supposed to meet with European leaders in Luxembourg and Brussels on a trip this week.

6.  Yes, This Mask Really Lets You Drink Without Taking It Off

 TAKE A BIG SIP 

Thanks to the unique and innovative design of this mask, you can sip through straws with ease.

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7.  Cops Reportedly Warn House Dems of Plot to Assassinate Them

 ACTIVE THREAT 

In a late Monday briefing, lawmakers were reportedly told of a violent plan to encircle the Capitol to block Democrats and non-Trumpist Republicans from entering the building.

8.  Former MI Officials to Be Charged in Flint Water Crisis: AP

 BETTER LATE THAN NEVER 

Ex-Gov. Rick Snyder and former health director Nick Lyon are among those who are expected to be charged in the crisis.

9.  Capitol Rioter Had Note With ‘Bad Guys,’ ‘Good Guys’: Docs

 CREEPY 

The note, found inside Lonnie Coffman’s truck, identified a sitting judge as “bad” and included numbers for Sean Hannity and Sen. Ted Cruz.

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10.  Third Rep Gets COVID After Sheltering With Maskless Members

 OUTBREAK 

“Several Republican lawmakers in the room adamantly refused to wear a mask,” Rep. Brad Schneider (D-IL) wrote in a statement Tuesday.

11.  Biden Returns Donation From Ex-Senator Turned Foreign Agent

  BOXED OUT 

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) is now a registered lobbyist for Hikvision, a firm which U.S. officials allege is used to spy on Uighurs.

12.  Derek Chauvin to Be Tried Separately in George Floyd Trial

 DELAYS 

A Minnesota judge decided to delay the trial date for the three ex-cops charged with aiding and abetting George Floyd’s murder, but not for Derek Chauvin.

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13.  Judge Blocks Execution of Only Woman on Federal Death Row

 MERCY 

Montgomery’s attorney argued that she suffers from severe mental illness “from a lifetime of sexual torture” and was unable to understand why she was being executed.

14.  Maskless Alabama Fans Celebrate Win by Packing Streets

 RISING TIDE 

The city’s mayor and university’s administration pleaded fans to celebrate in a socially distanced manner, out of COVID-19 concerns, after Ohio State blowout.

15.  Ted Cruz’s Comms Director Quits After Boss Incites Mob

 I’M OUT 

Lauren Blair Bianchi said she wishes Cruz and his staff “nothing but the best” going forward.

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