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GM. This is Milk Road, the crypto newsletter that gives you the same feeling as when you do laundry, and don’t lose any socks. #winning

It’s Friday. Let’s boogie:

FKSBF (SORTA) TAKES THE STAND 👨‍⚖️

Yesterday was the moment we’d all been waiting for…

Sam Bankman-Fried’s testimony. (formerly-know-as-SBF, or fkSBF for short)

How’d it go? Long story short, it didn’t… it ended up being a “mock hearing”.

No jury. No full-on testimony.

Instead of a prime-time game, we got a practice run. Booo! We demand a refund!

Here’s what happened:

1/ The jury was sent home early.

Why? The Judge wanted to hear the defense’s arguments first, to see what would be admissible in open court.

In other words… the Judge took one look at fkSBF and his BS-Radar™ went off.

So the Judge wanted to weed out all the fluff and bullsh*t first, before presenting it to the jury.

2/ fkSBF did well with his lawyer’s questions but crumbled during the mock cross-examination.

Court testimonies are a lot like meeting your girlfriend’s Dad for the first time.

Your girlfriend is first gonna tee up topics for you to talk about.

All things that set you up to look like a good guy with good intentions.

But then comes the cross-examination from Dad. You get the haymaker questions…

For fkSBF, the topic his lawyers told him to focus on was…advice of counsel.

Which is legal mumbo jumbo for “my lawyer at the time told me it was OK.”

That’s why most of their questions/answers focused on Dan Friedberg - FTX’s former lawyer.

Who told fkSBF which messages to auto-delete on Signal? Dan.

Who created FTX’s terms of service? Dan.

Who signed the applications for their bank account? Dan.

Everything was teed up to deflect the blame on Dan. (his name was mentioned about 30-40 times)

But then the prosecution got a chance to cross-examine. And that’s when things turned for the worse for fkSBF…

Once the prosecution took over the questioning, he either:

a) Answered like ChatGPT. AKA you ask it a yes/no question but get 4 paragraphs (and no legit answer) instead

b) Answered with “I don’t recall”.

Things got so bad during the cross-examination that…

3/ fkSBF’s own lawyer (Mark Cohen) snapped at him

The prosecutors asked fkSBF whether he believed he should embezzle customer assets. (a textbook trick question)

His lawyers got the Judge to dismiss the question.

FKSBF STILL ANSWERED ANYWAY….

Amazing. My legal knowledge is limited to a few episodes of Law & Order, and even I know what that means…

Anyways. After about 2 and a half hours of shenanigans questioning, the Judge called the session to an end.

He said he’d heard enough (me too, Judge, me too) and would rule on which arguments would be admissible in court this morning.

This time, it’d be in front of the jury. Get your milk & cookies ready, it’s gonna be a movie.

P.S. - if you want to keep up with all the trial action today, check out Matthew Russell from Inner City Press.

He’s been live-tweeting the entire trial #MVP

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BITCOIN IS DECOUPLING FROM STOCKS 📈

Over the years, Bitcoin’s price has been coupled with stock prices.

“If stocks go up, so does Bitcoin.

If stocks go down, so does Bitcoin.”

It’s a prophecy as old as Bitcoin itself. And for the most part, it holds true.

But there are times when it doesn’t. It’s called a decoupling.

Right now, is one of those times. Check out the returns this month…

Looks like Bitcoin and stocks are decoupling like two people who just saw each other for the first time in Love is Blind.

We’ll see if the trend continues.

BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪

Bitcoin’s supply on exchanges dropped to a new 5-year low. Long-term holders continue to accumulate from weaker hands.

Ethereum developers confirmed that the Dencun upgrade will not happen this year. Three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and delayed Ethereum upgrades.

ZachXBT raised concerns about a phishing email campaign targeting Trezor users. Causing some worries around a potential data breach within the company.

Solana Labs is launching an incubator to attract more developers to its blockchain. Adding to a lengthy list of recent developments coming from the major L1.

Circle is partnering with BitoGroup (a crypto exchange) and FamilyMart to integrate a new “points-to-crypto” service. The initiative will allow FamilyMart customers to convert their loyalty points into tokens, such as USDC.

JPMorgan says its JPM Coin payment system handles $1 billion in daily transactions. The institutions are coming…

MILKY MEMES 🤣

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.