1. Florida’s Elderly Are Spending the Night Outside for Vaccine

  ‘OUT OF CONTROL’ 

The vaccine rollout so far has been described as a disaster, with overloaded first-come, first-served sites and crashing websites.

2. Another Horrifying Landmark: 3,725 Americans Dead in One Day

 DON’T LOOK AWAY 

Johns Hopkins University also recorded 247,646 new COVID-19 cases nationwide on the same day of a new daily deaths high.

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3. This Book Is the Positivity and Motivation I Needed in 2020

 PASS THE POSITIVITY 

Think of it as collaborative, cathartic, motivational work between you and the author, explicitly tailored to your emotional needs.

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4. Britain Approves Oxford Vax, Predicts Spring End to Pandemic

 HERE COMES THE SUN 

The Oxford inoculation is cheaper and much easier to store than other vaccines, meaning it will likely be crucial in ending the pandemic around the world.

5. Leaked Docs Reveal Xi’s Iron Grip on COVID Origin Research

 ‘GAME OF CHESS’ 

One cabinet notice from March said the publication of research had to be micro-managed by the government under direct orders from Xi.

6. This Reusable Nespresso Pod Saves on Money and Waste

 ZERO WASTE POD 

CAPMESSO reusable stainless-steel capsule pods are waste-free, environmentally friendly, and make brewing my favorite ground espresso sustainably easy.

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7. Argentina, Homeland of Pope Francis, Legalizes Abortion

 ‘WE DID IT, SISTERS’ 

The new law will allow women to end pregnancies for any reason up to 14 weeks and, after that, there will be exceptions allowed for rape and a woman’s health.

8. Trump Tweets Conspiracy About GA SoS’ Nonexistent Brother

 NO RELATION 

One problem with Trump’s unhinged theory about Brad Raffensperger’s brother: Brad Raffensperger doesn’t have a brother.

9. Convicted Spy Pollard Kisses Ground as He Lands in Israel

 ‘ECSTATIC TO BE HOME’ 

Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, who has campaigned for Pollard’s release for decades, greeted Pollard and his wife.

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10. Feds Told in 2019 Nashville Suspect Was ‘Building Bombs’

 RED FLAGS 

Anthony Warner’s girlfriend reported to police that he was making a bomb in his vehicle, but police found no “evidence of a crime detected,” according to The Tennessean.

11. At Current Rate, Vaccination Effort Would Take Years: Study

 PERMA-QUARANTINE 

It would take 10 years for everyone in the country to be properly vaccinated at the rate the rollout is currently going.

12. Trump Gets Salty Over Melania’s Mar-a-Lago Renovations: CNN

 DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR 

Among the reported changes in decor were the addition of white marble and dark wood, which President Trump had removed.

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13. Those Viral Space Force Uniforms Aren’t Real

 FAILURE TO LAUNCH 

“The Space Force service dress uniform is still in development,” a spokesperson said Tuesday.

14. Louisville PD Looks to Fire Cops in Breonna Taylor Killing

 TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE 

Officer Joshua Jaynes, who secured the search warrant, received a pre-termination letter, along with Det. Myles Cosgrove, who the FBI says fired the fatal shot.

15. DOJ Won’t Bring Charges Against Cop Who Killed Tamir Rice

 DEPT. OF INJUSTICE 

The department declined to bring charges after experts couldn’t clearly determine what Rice was doing in the video of the shooting.

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