| | How it went last season. Oof! Photograph: Peter Powell/EPA | 15/12/2023 Are Manchester United set for more anaesthetic-free Anfield root-canal surgery? |
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| | ‘FIELD OF NIGHTMARES | Another week of embarrassment and desgracia for Manchester United will end at Anfield, an engagement their fans are relishing in the fashion they might anticipate root-canal surgery without anaesthetic. Liverpool giving Erik ten Hag’s men an almighty hockeying is one of the more likely outcomes. Last season, the score was 7-0. It might have been many more, as a result to pr1ck the bubble of United being BACK. The week before, Ten Hag had been recreating the Okocha/Allardyce shuffle with Antony and Lisandro Martínez while lifting the Milk Cup. What followed on Merseyside was less slow puncture than gouging with a rusty spanner. The last United manager to win at Anfield was Louis van Gaal, who could still teach Ten Hag a thing or two, judging by Ajax’s revival since the Dutch master was taken on as consultant; Brian “Mr” Brobbey is banging in the goals. Van Gaal won twice there but that was a different Liverpool, of the dog days of Brendan Rodgers and the early days of Jürgen Klopp. Nowadays, Klopp is constructing Liverpool 2.0 and it’s all going rather well. His team enter the weekend top of the league, beneficiaries of Aston Villa beating both Manchester City and Arsenal. Klopp isn’t exactly greeting his team’s progress with festive cheer. Instead, he’s been snarling at all-comers, those throaty guffaws at his own jokes in short supply as he takes down hacks for asking him about kick-off times, and celebrates dramatic winners with Pep Lijnders in the style of victorious barbarians, chest-bumping each other and issuing guttural roars into each other’s faces with full alpha-male agitation. The odd thing about this season is that it’s probably Pep Guardiola who is enjoying himself the most, keeping the “wow, guys” count as high as ever. Crystal Palace and Roy Hodgson, who wrote the literary novel on post-match grumps with last week’s effort, are Guardiola’s guests this week. Mikel Arteta ought to have a smile on his face, an independent adjudication panel agreeing he didn’t know the meaning of a certain word – “I believe this is nothing more than clever representation by a KC than a just outcome,” sighed Ref Support UK chief suit Martin Cassidy. An FA charge skipped, the one-man crusade for better VAR and Arsenal results continues. Having slipped from top last weekend, the Gunners meet Brighton and Roberto De Zerbi, another regular interlocutor with Howard Webb, fresh off a famous night in Big Vase. There’s a decent likelihood of some touchline verbals. All good, clean fun. But what of the ultimate touchline performer, Unai Emery, whose technical area movements often resemble Roy Castle during a Guinness world-record tap dance attempt? Villa’s crazy train alights at Brentford for a session of hard-pressing, half-spaces and high lines. Keep smiling, everyone. It’s Christmas out there in the world. |
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| QUOTE OF THE DAY | “It would be foolish to take away a tool that can remove clear errors from the game – almost 40 this season. Usually we have seen around 100 situations rectified through the use of VAR. Why would you want to take that away and leave those errors in the game?” – answers on a postcard to Howard Webb c/o Stockley Park. |
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| FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS | | If there are ‘at least 36 Masters degree courses in football management on offer in the UK’ as Mick Beeby suggests (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), then perhaps Todd Boehly should hire all the students, on eight-year contracts so they can amortise something or other (accountancy isn’t my bag, or quite frankly even vaguely of interest), in order to help the club. Although, presumably, the manager would still come back to him asking for even more of them” – Noble Francis. | | I really like the idea of posting questions for Masters candidates in football management. Let’s make the next one even simpler to dive into: ‘Handball. Explain …’” – Mike Wilner. | | Thanks for reminding this Blackburn Rovers fan about our inglorious Big Cup campaign in finishing bottom of our group in 1995-96 (yesterday’s Football Daily). At least we went out fighting!” – John Myles. | | Those mid-90s Big Cup vibes. Photograph: PA Images/Alamy | |
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| NEWS, BITS AND BOBS | Millwall have submitted a proposal to rename the approach to their stadium in honour of former owner and chairman John Berylson, who died in July. Elite female footballers who suffer an ACL injury are more likely to have played more matches, had less rest, and travelled further with their teams than their colleagues, a new study has found. More than 140 supporters have been arrested in Amsterdam for vandalising the city’s metro before their 3-1 Big Vase win over AEK Athens. Mayor Femke Halsema said the trouble was “a blemish on an exciting football evening that Ajax fans enjoyed a lot”. Erling Haaland’s foot-knack is likely to keep him out of Fantasy Football teams the Manchester City squad for their match against Crystal Palace, and he’ll probably miss the first Club World Cup match in Saudi Arabia too. “It’s not fracture, just stress,” sniffed Pep Guardiola. “We have to take it day by day.” Newcastle manager Eddie Howe reckons this is a time to support rather than criticise his suddenly struggling players and reminded fans – and his employers, no doubt – that the Saudi-owned club is “miles ahead of schedule”. Roy Hodgson will continue calling out controversial refereeing decisions – but has plenty of sympathy with whistleblowers trying to implement changes which have been “wreaked upon us”. “We are [not] consulted enough when it comes to so-called rule changes and interpretations,” tooted the Crystal Palace manager. Wayne Rooney has stressed the importance of him and his Birmingham players ignoring the “Wagatha Christie” backdrop to Monday’s match against Leicester. “I think what is important is we don’t get dragged into a sideshow,” he blabbed. “My job is to focus on Birmingham trying to win the game.” And by the time you read this, plain old Sunderland could be Mick Beale’s Sunderland. |
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| BIG ‘BRITISH’ VASE | In good news for British fans of the coefficient, Liverpool, West Ham, Brighton and – you’ll like this – Rangers (!) finished top of their groups to waltz straight into the last 16. Their were wholesome scenes on the south coast as the Seagulls enjoyed a lap of honour following their 1-0 win over Marseille that sealed top spot in Group B. “I think this is the best moment in my time [at Brighton],” croaked De Zerbi. “I’ve lost my voice, I’ve lost everything.” The Hammers, meanwhile, put their 5-0 thrashing by Fulham behind them as they knocked Freiburg down to second spot with a 2-0 win and Liverpool let the toddlers have a runout in Belgium, losing 2-1 to SG Union in a game that was about as meaningful as a Christmas card from your broadband provider. | | Rangers celebrate after their win over Betis. Photograph: Marcelo del Pozo/Reuters |
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| STILL WANT MORE? | | | And here’s the proof. Photograph: Robbie Jay Barratt/AMA/Getty Images | |
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| MEMORY LANE | Merseyside rivals on the pitch but firm friends off it, Everton boss Howard Kendall and Liverpool counterpart Kenny Dalglish pull a Christmas cracker in December 1985. | | Photograph: Associated Newspapers/Rex |
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| IT’S TIME FOR SOME ARROWS |
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