Behold the international football break – and a sepia-tinted one at that

The international break is a time for reflection, contemplation, and relaxation. In an exhausting and expensive season of club and elite European competition, it is the chance to mentally steel yourself for the infamous “business end of the season”. Especially when it is an international break predominantly made up of meaningless friendlies – something of a sepia-tinted throwback these days – it is a time to let those meaningless results wash over you: embrace them, arms raised, eyes closed like a liberated Andy Dufresne in a sewage ditch or Jude Bellingham in front of an away end.

Because the international break is rarely about the actual football. And that’s OK. Sometimes the lunch at Lord’s is better than the cricket. The kiss-cam on the jumbotron can be more entertaining than the action on the basketball court. It’s time to diversify interests. For the fans, it is an opportunity to finally get those DIY jobs sorted, the lawn re-seeded. Why would you watch the England v Brazil friendly at Wembley on Saturday – as Conor Gallagher does battle with Bruno Guimarães for what seems like the 45th time this season – when you can leave the house and spend £5 on a sourdough loaf? That 11th season of Married at First Sight Australia isn’t going to watch itself.

If fans are finding new ways to spend their time and money, the players and clubs are finding new ways to accumulate theirs. In years gone by, the biggest stars would use this break to side-hustle some of those sweet, sweet image rights, creating some legendary adverts. Eric Cantona and Ian Wright playing Sunday league football on Hackney Marshes, with Parklife blaring out in the background? Ooooof. Wayne Rooney in a caravan? Go on, then. Prime Beckham, Ronaldinho, Roberto Carlos, Totti all playing dress-up in a medieval reenactment? Yes please. However, without coming over all Game’s Gone, things are not the same in 2024. In an age where players – media-trained to an inch of their lives – brands (budgets slashed) and clubs all take fewer risks, it’s brilliant to see Tottenham still leading the charge with a range of individually-packaged chicken breasts. The sell-by-date on that thing remains unclear – with Harry Kane still on the packaging – but from retractable pitches to “bottoms-up” beer pouring system, Spurs have always been at the forefront of innovation.

Just in case commercial deals, international friendlies and trips to B&Q don’t do it for you over this international break, there are a few matches that actually matter. Thursday will see six Euro 2024 semi-final playoffs, 12 nations vying for the final spots at this year’s tournament in Germany, among them Wales v Finland. Friday’s World Cup 2026 qualifier between the British Virgin Islands and neighbours US Virgin Islands promises to be tasty. Good luck to the Welsh and to the Virgins. For the rest of us, we’ll see you down at the farmers’ market.

Join Sarah Rendell from 5.45pm GMT for minute-by-minute coverage of Ajax 1-2 Chelsea in the Women’s Big Cup quarter-finals.

“It’s not clear to anyone who follows football, fans and the clubs themselves and it ends up creating that chaos around it. Luton could invade the pitch, celebrate staying up, people have one of the greatest days of their lives and five days later get told: ‘Sorry, you’re relegated.’ It damages the competition. We might have to wait days after a season finishes. It’s like waiting for VAR. They have got themselves into a real mess, which is a shame” – former Nottingham Forest chief suit Paul Faulkner alludes to a Premier League season finale that will very possibly come with an asterisk attached and be clouded by uncertainty.

Come on Football Daily. Are you using the Memory Lane feature (full email edition) to check whether we’re reading to the end of your tea-timely ramblings and whether we are still conscious when we get there? After Friday’s Emlyn Hughes incident, yesterday’s was a century-old painting of a football match involving D1ck, Kerr Ladies at Burnley Cricket Ground from ‘February 2024’ – and not even its first appearance in that spot. It’s a good painting mind you, and at least you got the comma in the team’s title correct” – Katie Maddock (and 1,056 others).

You know how witty Football Daily readers glancingly suggest that certain events at a match (handbags, a crunching tackle, modest amounts of sh!thousery, etc) are something that true fans say they don’t like to see, but secretly do? Well, the calamity at the Trabzonspor match (yesterday’s Quote of the Day) really is something I don’t want to watch. Like, not ever” – Mike Wilner.

On the subject of Gareth Southgate playing decent players in the wrong positions, let’s hope he doesn’t see that picture of Harry Kane in what looks like a wing back chair” – Morgan Armstrong.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day is … Morgan Armstrong, who gets a copy of Too Good to be Forgotten, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their book store here.

Saturday 16 March, 10am: “Matchday signing! AFC Rushden & Diamonds are delighted to announce the signing of 22-year-old Lewi Patching on a dual-registration from Southern League Premier League side St Ives” – Rushden & Diamonds reveal some last-minute transfer news.

4.57pm: “AFC RD 0-4 Lye Town” – R&D confirm a rough day at the office.

10.13pm: “[We] are aware of an incident in the bar between a first-team player and a supporter following this afternoon’s defeat to Lye Town. The player in question has had his registration with the club cancelled with immediate effect” – R&D post a statement following allegations that Patching had butted a supporter after the game.

Monday 18 March, 3.41pm: “Firstly, I’d like to apologise to the supporter involved and Rushden & Diamonds for the events that took place. I was disappointed how the game panned out personally and for the club. After the game a group of home supporters began hurling abuse. One of them then confronted me directly, invading my personal space and shouting in my face aggressively. Genuinely fearing for my safety and emotions running high, I reacted, which I deeply regret. This is not an excuse for my actions and I’m disappointed in myself for losing control. Again, I’d like to apologise and wish the club/supporter all the best” – Patching rounds off a lively weekend.

It’s David Squires on … FA Cup quarter-final magic and shadowy cartels.

The proposed powers of an English football regulator would allow access to real-time financial information from inside clubs, conduct enhanced due diligence on the financial resources of new owners and force unsuitable owners to divest their holdings should they fail key tests. Got all that? Good. MPS might still amend it all anyway.

Manchester United’s 18-year-old midfield schemer, Kobbie Mainoo, has received his first-ever England call-up for the upcoming defeats against Brazil and Belgium.

Sir Big Jim Ratcliffe reckons United will not be chasing superstar signings such as Jude Bellingham or Kylian Mbappé. “It’s not where our focus is,” he blabbed on, erm, the Geraint Thomas Cycling Club podcast. “The solution isn’t spending a lot of money on a couple of great players. We need to get the right people in the right boxes who are managing and organising the club. And make sure we get recruitment right.”

The WSL has set a new season attendance record of 717,721 with six rounds of matches still to play. The previous record was 689,297, for the whole of the 2022-23 season.

One to watch in terms of fixture congestion complaints down the road: Tottenham and Arsenal Women will head to Australia in May for two flamin’ post-season exhibition fixtures, presumably designed to shore up their coffers.

France boss Didier Deschamps is chuffed that Mbappé’s strained relations at PSG have led to him being benched with the Euros looming. “It’s important to be physically fresh for a major competition,” he trilled. “If that fatigue can be reduced a little [all the better].”

Arsenal centre-back Gabriel Magalhães will miss Brazil’s friendlies against England and Spain next week because of unspecified-knack, with Juventus’s Gleison Bremer named as his replacement.

Sweden’s first-ever Danish manager, Jon Dahl Tomasson, has flapped his gums impressively in an effort to win over skeptics. “I have a Danish heart, but I have a European football head,” he soothed, before his first match, a friendly in Portugal. “I’ve been abroad more or less my whole adult life, it’s given me a lot of concepts and a lot of inspiration, but I want a modern, dominant way of playing.”

And Sir Alex Ferguson has been given a lifetime membership by Eintracht Frankfurt. Obviously. The former manager was at Ibrox as a fan when the German side walloped Rangers 6-1 in the 1960 Big Cup semi-final second leg. “That was unbelievable,” he said in an interview with the Bundesliga club, admitting he then went to Hampden to support Eintracht in the final, which Madrid won 7-3. Gah.

The latest edition of our sister newsletter is fresh out of the box, with Ella Braidwood catching up with Brann before their Big Cup dates with Barcelona.

The Joy of Six returns with Daniel Harris picking over ‘houses, ‘housing and ‘housery.

The cultural division of supporters only serves those who wish to exploit it, writes Jonathan Liew.

Club owners – not the rules – should be blamed for points deductions, argues Barney Ronay.

And Brady Oltmans reports from Kansas City and the Current’s first NWSL game at their shiny, groundbreaking stadium.

To February 1985 as spot-kick maestro Kevin Sheedy fires past the outstretched hand of Telford United keeper Kevin Charlton to complete a 3-0 win in their FA Cup fifth-round tie. The Toffees would reach the final at Wembley, where they would lose by a single goal to Manchester United.