I don’t remember what they were going on about, but a discussion on the Football Weekly podcast the other day reminded me of a period when I was briefly (very briefly, thankfully) a celebrity. I was working on a top-rated TV show and was rewarded by the viewing public by being constantly shouted at, spat on and burgled on an almost daily basis. The job did have its compensations however, and apart from money, the best of these was the charity football. The show had its own team and, among other grounds, I got to play at Preston, Burnley, Arsenal, Chelsea, Plymouth, Partick Thistle, Leeds, Southend, Spurs and Hampden. The one everyone wanted, however, was Wembley. And in a wide range of pick-n-mix teams most of us got there eventually. When Todd Carty was on This Is Your Life, a few of us met up and talk soon turned to these appearances which usually preceded a ‘proper’ Wembley occasion. ‘Oh yeah,’ somebody said, ‘I was invited to play before the Zenith Data Systems final a couple of years back.’ ‘Can’t remember what the game was when I was there,’ someone else went on, ‘might have been the Rumbelows, or something.’ One of our number had played there courtesy of Johnstone’s Paint, while another had fond memories of the Sherpa Van Trophy. At this stage I turned to Martin Kemp, who we all knew from his days with Spandau Ballet, but who had recently been seen strutting his stuff on Albert Square. ‘Have you played at Wembley?’ I asked. ‘Oh. Yeah,’ he replied, looking slightly sheepish. Unable to take a hint I carried on … ‘Oh right,’ I said, ‘when was it?’ … ‘Oh. You know,’ he replied, still eager to save my blushes. ‘Live Aid’” – Chris McHallem. | 
Altay Bayindir: a Manchester United done deal, earlier. Photograph: Manchester United/Getty Images
