As we all know, Big Cup is going to be utter rubbish after the suits at Uefa decided to shake things up and play more games for reasons that are not immediately cl€ar. It will become a random league system with each team playing eight matches – four home and four away – against different opposition. Everyone will become bored of it before Real Madrid beat Feyenoord 4-0 in mid-January. This means we have to hold on to the glorious notion of knockout football, which was served up in spades during the third qualifying round.

Rangers are already out though, losing 2-0 to Dynamo Kyiv. After a 1-1 draw in the first leg, the second, at Hampden Park, was goalless, until Italian referee Marco Guida decided that Rangers winger Jefté jumped too high to win a header against Oleksandr Karavayev, who fell to the floor like a drunk donkey. Already on a booking, the Brazilian’s impressive leap left Guida apparently flummoxed, so he decided to produce a second yellow. “It’s a very decisive moment and, in the end, it has killed the dream of a dressing room,” fumed Rangers gaffer Philippe Clement. “It has killed the dream of more than 50,000 fans [actual attendance 39,180 – Football Daily Ed] and you expect a better level in decision-making, because this is, for me, the worst decision I’ve seen in more than 30 years.” Dynamo Kyiv went on to score twice, meaning Rangers will have to do with Big Vase once more.

There was drama all over the shop. PAOK thought they were heading to the playoff round when pesky Malmö kid Nils Zätterström popped up with a 96th-minute equaliser, Anders Christiansen’s extra-time winner then giving the Swedes a 6-5 aggregate victory. PAOK will have to settle for Europe’s second tier, where they will be joined by … José Mourinho’s Fenerbahce. They too got to extra-time via an injury-time goal, this time courtesy of Lille’s Bafodé Diakité chesting the ball into his own net. When the visitors’ Aïssa Mandi was given his marching orders, Mourinho must have thought he was back in the Big Cup big time, only for Istanbul to be silenced by a 118th-minute Jonathan David penalty awarded after a VAR review.

“It’s better if I don’t talk about the penalty,” moaned Mourinho. “Only the referee knows why it was a penalty, and the VAR knows. I’m proud of my team. I am an honest person. I told my players that I was proud of them, they did everything to win. One team deserved to win but the other team advanced.” The drama wasn’t done there, mind. Spare a thought for Ludogorets, who were hopeful of getting to Big Cup proper after a hard-fought 2-1 win over Qarabag in Azerbaijan. They conceded early at home in Tuesday’s second leg but had turned things around by the 23-minute mark. Unfortunately, they managed to concede twice in first-half injury-time as the tie was levelled, but the most important thing was to still be in it … until they conceded four in extra-time to lose 8-4 on aggregate. God bless the qualifying rounds.

Join Scott Murray from 8pm BST for hot MBM coverage of Real Madrid 3-1 Atalanta in Biggest Cup.

“Erik shaped the early stages of my career, so he knows how to get the best out of me and I cannot wait to work with him again. I know what it takes to succeed at the highest level, and I’m determined to continue that record at this special club” – Matthijs de Ligt there, after joining Noussair Mazraoui at Manchester United and taking their total number of players who’ve played in the Netherlands or for Erik ten Hag up to 4,905.

To continue the recent Memory Lane theme of mustachioed heroes (full email edition), here is my distant cousin, Jimmy Crabtree, sporting the classic look. Always nice to remember the players and the past while looking forward to the future” – Tom Crabtree.

Milk Cup is back, baby, and it brings to mind a glorious era in football. No, not the 1981-86 run of Milk Marketing Board sponsorship but the late-1970s and early-1980s era of post-cup final tunnel player interviews, where no self-respecting interviewee could possibly answer a question without first raising a glass bottle of milk to their lips. Yes folks, milk used to come in glass bottles and what more wholesome sight could there be than a professional sportsperson toasting their success or failure (treating both impostors just the same in a manner of which Kipling would have approved) than by drinking milk straight out of it. Would love to see our current players handed a glass bottle of milk in a post-match interview and watch them flounder as they question what they are expected to do with it. Mind you, these days it would probably be regarded as a performance-enhancing substance and lead to bans” – Charlie Ashmore.

I wouldn’t worry about Troy Deeney failing to provide amusement in his Premier League Team of the Week on the BBC (yesterday’s Party Off, Garth; full email edition). Judging by the colourful and uncensored opinions he had of his Forest Green charges during his short spell as manager, it could be he is about to show Garth Crooks a thing or two about re-positioning the egos of the man-babies he’ll be judging” – Colin Reed.

Yesterday’s Football Daily made at least two references to ‘the schools going back’ and the likelihood of a striker scoring 45 goals before then. While I appreciate the reasons for anglocentrism, could I point out that, in many areas of Scotland, pupils have returned to school. Chances of anybody scoring anything before then are not high” – Ken McKinlay.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is …. Colin Reed. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

Over at our sister newsletter, Sophie Downey laments the women’s football tournament at Big Sports Day and how, if it is to continue as a mainstay of the calendar, the IOC and Fifa need to ensure a more sustainable product.

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Premier League suits are poised to unveil a revolutionary new version of the VAR system, using AI-powered, semi-automatic offside technology. What can possibly go wrong?

Conor Gallagher is back at Chelsea and facing a morale-boosting spell training with fellow outcasts Romelu Lukaku and Trevoh Chalobah in the U-21s, after his switch to Atlético Madrid fell through.

Plymouth Argyle keeper Michael Cooper and Crystal Palace tyro Jesurun Rak-Sakyi are due to be unveiled as new arrivals at Sheffield United, whose smooth on-field start to the season continued in a 4-2 beatdown of Wrexham in the Carling Cup.

With less than 11 months to go until Euro 2025, BBC and ITV have pulled their fingers out and agreed to broadcast every game of the tournament.

And Girona manager Míchel reckons his side can repeat their strong showing in La Liga when they kick off the new campaign at Betis on Thursday. “I don’t have a crystal ball to know where we will sit in the end, but I’m convinced that, with collective thinking in defence and attack, we will have a great season,” he tooted. “The objective is the club’s growth and to always honour their colours. Growth, growth and growth.”

Arsenal and England’s Leah Williamson gets her chat on with Suzanne Wrack.

We’re nearing the end of the Premier League previews ... No 15: Newcastle. Will an uncluttered fixture list and the return of Sandro Tonali be a boost for Eddie Howe’s side? And No 16: Nottingham Forest. After a season filled with off-field drama, can Nuno steer a steady ship?

And Sam Hammond gives the lowdown on 10 potential breakout stars in the Premier League this season, including a pair of talented Spurs youngsters.

Birmingham, October 1995, and Aston Villa’s Gareth Southgate is – according to the caption provided – “celebrating his England call-up”.