Euro 2024 draw: get ready for a feast of footballing bonhomie

Euro 2024, it’s sooner than you think. Because on Saturday evening, it’s the draw for the finals, to be played in Germany, of course. That’s taking place in Hamburg at 5pm GMT since you ask, and balls are being warmed in readiness for the 24 finalists, though make that 21 that we know of, as there’s the playoff round still to be decided. There, 12 nations who horsed their qualifications but were given a second chance by a Uefa Nations League equation that would have Nicolaus Copernicus reaching for his Casio scientific calculator will meet other such nations. By around midnight on 26 March all 24 teams will be revealed.

Just who will be presenting this feast of footballing bonhomie in which the dreaded phrase “the beautiful game” will be thrown around like confetti? Or did Fifa copyright that one? Details are sketchy, at least on English language Google and social media disgrace TwiXer. The venue is the Elbphilharmonie in Hamburg, a highbrow venue that normally hosts orchestras and the like. Just last month there was a three-day tribute to the music of Kurdistan while this week Bill Frisell, one of the most influential jazz musicians of the 21st century (it says here), was noodling away on his guitar.

In lieu of Pedro Pinto and Reshmin Chowdhury doing the honours, that leaves Football Daily wondering who will be accompanying the likes of Big Website’s Philipp Lahm and Giorgio Marchetti, the bespectacled chap who does the procedurals, dropping in gags in the same style Gianni Infantino once made his trademark before going on to, er, things. Will Angela Merkel, these days working on her memoirs, presumably in a shepherd’s hut, be persuaded to put in an appearance at her local draw? A wishlist of guests would take in Christopher Waltz, Ralf Hütter, Nastassja Kinski, the lads from Modern Talking and, yeah, go on then, The Hoff.

Hamburg is the port city that gave the world Kevin Keegan’s tight perm years, where the Beatles did their 10,000 hours of practice off the Reeperbahn before becoming truly fab. On Friday, as a prelude, in the 2. Bundesliga, St Pauli will host HSV in a sociable 4.30pm local time kick-off. That’s a top-of-the-table clash between the wifi Marxists and fallen European champions of 30 years ago. It’s been a long time since Felix Magath was rubbing cheese on his thighs and scoring winners against Juventus. As for the mechanics of the draw itself, six groups of four will be selected, from four pots, for a group stage that will cut down the 24 to 16, with four third-placed teams going through to the last 16 and Scotland sorrowfully jetting home with Del Amitri ringing in their ears.

Join Luke McLaughlin from 7.45pm GMT for MBM coverage of England 0-0 Netherlands in the Women’s Nations League.

“At the start I knew the pitch wasn’t right and you could see the way we were, a couple of our players struggled on it. We have been on our travels a lot and that’s as tough an environment as you can play in” – Aberdeen manager Barry Robson hails his team for recovering from two-down to draw 2-2 at HJK in Tin Pot, during a game that was briefly held up by Dons fans lobbing snowballs on the pitch and then later for snow ploughs to come on and clear the pitch.

It’s been a while since you had one of these but the news about Shane MacGowan has reminded me that whenever I heard Naby Keïta’s name mentioned I would immediately sing the chorus of Navigator by The Pogues. It’s so perfect I can’t believe they didn’t chant it at Anfield. Anyway RIP Shane” – Alan Ferneyhough.

Pleasantly surprised to see Truro City grace the pages of Football Daily (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). I was a member of the youth team in the halcyon days of 2007 when the club won the FA Vase, before reaching the Conference South. Since then it has been a sorry (but familiar) tale of financial overreach, administration, 10-point deductions, and relegation. Most recently the home ground since 1900, Treyew Road, was sold (now a Lidl) and the club has been suffering the ignominy of having to play home games in (gasp) Devon while a new stadium is built. Here’s hoping the new ownership can bring back the glory days. Finally, for those that would call Cornish football a ‘farmer’s league’, don’t worry, they all played rugby” – Jack Stokes.

Re: ‘the chaos that has plagued Manchester United behind the scenes for years finally found its way on to the pitch’ (yesterday’s Football Daily). Finally? Can I be one of the 1,057 to remind you of this” – Rob McPheely (and no others).

Send any letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Alan Ferneyhough, who lands our final copy of the excellent Woman Up, by Carrie Dunn.

Horsham boys, Horsham boys, laced-up boots and corduroys. Yes, the FA Cup lucky losers and Lardy Army are off to Sutton United in round two on Saturday after their reinstatement. “The most lucrative outcome would be a draw followed by a replay but I’m very conscious that to put on our game against Barnsley in the previous round we had volunteers who took a week’s holiday from work to help,” chairman Kevin Borrett tells Ed Aarons in this feature. “Playing a replay against Sutton would be a massive logistical challenge but I’m sure everyone would rise to it if they have that opportunity. It would be easier just to win against Sutton and then we can relax and watch the third-round draw.” It’s at 1pm on Sunday for all those interested …

Cristiano Ronaldo has been hit with a class-action lawsuit seeking at least $1bn in damages for his role in promoting cryptocurrency-related NFTs, issued by beleaguered cryptocurrency exchange Binance.

Police officers have been injured after violence from Legia Warsaw fans erupted before their Conference League game at Aston Villa. “In spite of numerous requests for cooperation concerning their travelling supporters, especially in the last two days, no assistance on the serious safety matter of away fans attending was forthcoming from the visiting club,” sniffed Villa in statement.

As expected, Everton have formally appealed against the decision to deduct them 10 points for a breach of Premier League profit and sustainability rules, with the outcome expected in the new year.

Jürgen Klopp has told Liverpool’s forwards they must share the workload of a demanding December schedule after a 4-0 win over Lask booked their spot in the knockout stages of Big Vase. “This is the most intense period in world football coming up now, for all the teams,” he roared. “So they will all play.”

Brighton and West Ham are also through, albeit to at least the playoff round, after 1-0 victories at AEK Athens and Backa Topola, respectively.

Rangers must wait until the final game of the groups if they’re to advance, having been held 1-1 at Ibrox by Aris Limassol. “It was the first time that I felt real disappointment in the dressing room, they were not happy with their performance,” sighed Philippe Clement.

Erik ten Hag has defended the under-fire André Onana and insisted the Cameroon international is among the best keepers in England. “If you analyse it well then you see he is the second-best goalkeeper in the Premier League based on stats, so his expected defending goals is the second best in the Premier League,” tooted Ten Hag.

Bristol Rovers have appointed Matt Taylor – recently ditched by Rotherham – as their new manager. Which means if they’re still in charge for the League One meeting between the Pirates and Shrewsbury on 1 April, it’ll be Matt Taylor v Matt Taylor.

And Jeff Stelling is back, baby. He’ll return to the screens in a presenting role for Prime Video’s Every Game Every Goal show.

Premier League. Ten things. This weekend. You know the drill by now.

Before the USA! USA!! USA!!! dominated the women’s football scene there was China. Ryan Baldi reports on a team working its way back up.

Hipsters v Rothosen: Will Magee on the derby between St Pauli and HSV.

And Michael Butler catches up with Maidstone keeper Lucas Covolan to talk about their FA Cup second-round date and his journey from Rio de Janeiro, via Spain, to Whitehawk, Worthing, Torquay, Port Vale, Chesterfield and now Kent.

The FA Cup’s minders, Hassan Enahoro (left) and Roy MacDonald, with the trophy in its case at Chasetown in 2008. The Midlands side had made it to through round two, seeing off Port Vale in a replay, so our snapper David Sillitoe spent a few days following the cup around before the third round. They would eventually lose to Cardiff City 3-1, still no mean feat for a team that at the time was the lowest-ranked to reach that stage.