It was early June 2023. Rishi Sunak was prime minister of the UK, Dave and Central Cee were number one with Sprinter, the world was succumbing to Barbiemania, and Manchester City had just been crowned champions of Europe. Different times, different times. But here we are now, a whopping 55 days on, and football is at long last back, baby. This weekend, Manchester City prepare to lock horns with Arsenal, Roméo Lavia will pull on a Southampton shirt, and Chelsea are spending money like half-cut sailors on shore leave. It’s a whole new ball game! We’re alive and kicking!

Of course, that’s not what we’re trying to say here at all, is it. So to be clear: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN YOU ALL KEEP OFF THE STAGE FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES AND LET US ENJOY OUR GLORIOUS SUMMER OF SPORT IN PEACE? Or in short: STOP FOOTBALL. Or more accurately: STOP MEN’S FOOTBALL. Because whose idea was it to schedule the biggest show in women’s football so it overlaps with the premature and frankly unwelcome return of the Championship, Scottish Premiership and Premier League, along with the ever-spirit-sappingly-tedious Community Shield, all of which will be afforded a much bigger slice of the attention pie than they strictly deserve? Are basic good manners too much to ask for? So in an attempt to level out the playing field a bit, Football Daily is going to ignore all of that. You’re welcome. Support the Guardian!

Then again, the Women’s World Cup doesn’t need any sort of artificial boost, because the 2023 edition is one hell of a tournament and it’s delivering in spades. Pity the poor sods who missed Morocco and Jamaica sorting the new-wave wheat from the old-school chaff for a start, but at least they’ll surely be tuning in this weekend as the tough top half of the draw unfolds. Spain and the Netherlands are expected to show their title credentials against the Swiss and South Africans; Japan have been the standout side so far and take on fellow former winners in Norway; and the underwhelming defending champs USA? USA?? USA??? have to come good at some point … but against a Sweden side ranked third in the world?

If Football Daily doesn’t have a few huge stories to tell when you see us again on Monday afternoon – by which time England and the co-hosts Australia will also have played their first knockout match – we’ll be very surprised. Excitement is pretty much guaranteed as a super weekend stretches out ahead. Wednesday v Saints? Killie v Rangers? Wrexham v MK Dons? City showing off at Wembley? No thanks, we’re busy. No thank you! No thanks!

“Regarding Gvardiol – what a beautiful surname he has – he’s doing a medical test. Everybody knows he’s here.” Pre-season Pep Guardiola is a hack’s delight, handing out puns and transfer here-we-goes to assembled journos. Just wait until he’s back to fidgeting and scratching his bonce after a goalless draw at Burnley next week.

Join Rob Smyth from 8pm BST for hot Championship MBM coverage as Sheffield Wednesday 0-0 Southampton kicks off the Football League season.

I’ve never understood the campaign by the USA USA USA women’s team for equal pay with the men. Why should a team that’s won four World Cups get paid only as much as a team that’s not got anywhere near?” – Paul Oakes.

Re: Auston Trusty signing for Sheffield United (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). Just wondering if there are any other Premier League players whose names sound like nice, reliable, old-school cars?” – Steve Bennett [we nominate Luton’s Carlton Morris – Football Daily Ed].

Re: Adam Smith’s recollection of a Britney Spears lyric (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). She was just a poor Graham Taylor tribute act: “Hit Les, Tony, one more time” – Antony Train.

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Paul Oakes.

Zambia’s coach, Bruce Mwape, has been accused of rubbing his hands over the chest of one of his players two days before his country’s historic victory over Costa Rica in their final match at the Women’s World Cup.

Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsdale has vowed to call out homophobia and said he wants to make football a sport that is a “welcoming place for everyone” after talking for the first time about the fact that one of his brothers is gay.

Gareth Southgate has given his thoughts on Jordan Henderson’s move to Saudi Arabia. “I think it’s so difficult to say, is Henderson saying he doesn’t support [the LGBTQ+] community anymore?” said the England manager. “No, he isn’t, but of course people are going to say his actions are the reverse of that.”

The Chelsea revolving door spins again and the latest new addition is French defender Axel Disasi from Monaco. Fee: £38.7m. “It’s a club that has been very popular for French players. And the colour is blue like the national team! It’s good,” roared the 25-year-old.

Tension at West Ham: David Moyes wants to sign Southampton midfielder James Ward-Prowse. The Hammers’ new technical director, Tim Steidten, won’t meet the asking price of £40m. Would you take on Moyesy?

Eddie Howe is ready to cheerfully count out that 40 mill for Southampton to bag Ward-Prowse, and another 40 for full-back Tino Livramento while he’s there – after all, it’s a long old train ride.

And Marco Silva is not best pleased after Willian agreed personal terms with Saudi club Al-Shabab – just two weeks after signing a new contract with Fulham.

World Cup power rankings time: Japan and Colombia fly up the charts while Brazil, Canada and Germany plummet on Suzanne Wrack’s league ladder.

Karen Carney believes “ruthless” Japan are to be feared after dismantling Spain in their final group game at the Women’s World Cup.

Today’s Premier League previews are brought to you by the letters E (for Everton) and F (for Fulham). Not long now, Leeds and Leicester fans! Ah.

It’s the big kick-off north of the border and Brendan’s back in town. Time for Michael Beale to deliver with his rebuilt Rangers side, reckons Ewan Murray.

“I love proving people wrong”: the new Southampton manager, Russell Martin, gets his chat on with Ben Fisher.

Real Madrid’s Aurélien Tchouaméni and Bayern Munich’s Leon Goretzka are on Manchester United’s radar. That and more fluff in the Rumour Mill.

Jayeola Cole on why winning Big Shield is actually best avoided.

And it’s quiz time! Test your knowledge of memorable friendlies right here.

The Charity/Community Shield is a fixture in the English football calendar but came close to dying out in the early 70s, with title and Cup winners often turning down the chance to play. In 1973, Manchester City (holders of the Shield) faced Burnley, the Second Division champions, at Maine Road. Burnley won 1-0, to the interest of few outside Lancashire. The following year, the fixture was rebooted at Wembley, Billy Bremner and Kevin Keegan tussled on the turf, and the rest was history.