Getting mildly excited about English football’s fifth most high-profile competition

With the quarter-finals looming, now is around the time of year that fans who aren’t generally fussed about Fizzy Cup start getting mildly excited about their team’s chances of winning it. While it may be English football’s fifth most high-profile competition after the Premier League, FA Cup and both transfer windows, this season it offers fans of several teams whose trophy cabinets resemble Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard a realistic chance of seeing their team lift silverware, or at least the opportunity of a rare day out at Wembley to see a more famous club presented with it. The eight teams left in this season’s Fizzy Cup have won it 22 times between them, an impressively high number that remains exactly the same if you remove Crystal Palace, Brentford, Newcastle and Southampton from the equation, what with none of them ever having won it at all.

It is a situation all four clubs will be hoping to rectify this time around and given Newcastle’s match-up with Brentford at St James’ Park, at least one of these serial trophy non-winners is guaranteed a place in the semi-finals. A team who last won a major pot when Pérez Prado and his Orchestra occupied the UK No 1 spot with Cherry Pink (And Apple Blossom White) in 1955 hosting a team who hasn’t won one since Pythagorus first started experimenting with vibrating strings, theirs is an intriguing tie. Brentford subjected Newcastle to quite the humbling at the unlikely fortress that is the Gtech Community Stadium earlier this month, but given the appalling away form of Thomas Frank’s team, there’s every chance the tables could be turned. “We are facing a good team at one of the toughest away grounds, so it will be tough,” said Frank, whose team’s only away win this season came in Fizzy Cup at lowly Colchester. “But we’ve done it before, we’ve played away and won before.”

Meanwhile in London, stuttering Arsenal welcome Crystal Palace to the Emirates for a tie that should go a long way towards showing just how far down the Gooner pecking order Raheem Sterling has fallen. A starter in Arsenal’s two Fizzy Cup ties so far this season, the former England international is yet to be given a run-out this month despite the middling-to-poor form of many of those being selected ahead of him. “I don’t know if it’s confidence, but obviously he’s got that will that the ball goes in the back of the net and he starts to have some momentum in relation to that,” blathered Mikel Arteta, albeit in response to a question about the similarly out-of-sorts Gabriel Jesus. Unencumbered by the rigid philosophy of the recently-deposed Russell Martin for the first time this season, we can almost certainly expect to see Southampton get the ball launched into the night sky over Hampshire when they host holders Liverpool, while their interim head coach Simon Rusk has confirmed he will be channeling his inner Marty McFly and engaging in any sort of time travel.

“I’m a believer in staying present,” he told reporters in his maiden press conference. “Present for me is preparing the team to play Liverpool. The best thing I can do is prepare the team as best as I can, what falls out of that will fall out. I’ve been in the game long enough to know that.” In the Fizzy Cup’s last quarter-final tie, Tottenham host Manchester United on Thursday, with this tournament representing Big Ange’s best hope of maintaining his record of winning something shiny in each of his second seasons. “I want to win and want to play well,” he said, between straight-batting questions on whether or not he fancies signing Marcus Rashford. “I don’t think it’s anything new. We’ll go out there and try and play our football. If we do, we’ll be hard to stop.”

Join Barry Glendenning at 7.30pm (GMT) for live Milk Cup quarter-final updates on Arsenal 1-0 Crystal Palace, while Scott Murray will be on hand at 8pm for Southampton 1-2 Liverpool.

Tuesday 17 December: “I think I’m ready for a new challenge and the next steps” – Marcus Rashford eyes the door marked Do One at Manchester United after being left out of the squad for the Manchester derby.

Wednesday 18 December: “We are better with Marcus Rashford, that is simple and we will try different things to push [him] to the best levels he showed in the past. And that’s all” – but Ruben Amorim suggests he wants the out-of-sorts striker to stay after all.

Ten years ago Emiliano Martínez was just sitting on the Sheffield Wednesday bench (alongside Michail Antonio by the way) as a backup for Chris Kirkland, not playing in the Championship as we lost to Charlton Athletic. Now, he’s won a World Cup, two Copa Américas, two Yashin Trophies (the Ballon d’Or for goalkeepers) and a second Fifa best men’s goalkeeper. A doff of the cap to lad” – Noble Francis.

Given big Ange seemed to want everyone to know that he was ‘just copying Pep, mate’ last year, it really should not come as a surprise that both Spurs and Manchester City have had slumps at a similar stage of this season. Hopefully with Tottenham playing Manchester United on Thursday the similarity will not continue in the outcome of that game (speaking as a Tottenham supporter of course)“ – Greg Wynn.

One assumes TV writer Jack Thorne is indulging in a bit nominative determinism when he states that ‘the city belongs to [Liverpool Football Club]’ (yesterday’s Shanks for the Memories section – full email edition). The blue half of town would beg to differ and if Jack would care to pop across Stanley Park for a beverage, I’m sure he’d find many friends willing to explain a few things to help his script development” – Nick Shimmin.

When I read in [yesterday’s] Football Daily that the mysterious forces behind the ESL were ‘back peddling’ I naturally assumed that this was another Grauniad misprint and that they were in fact back pedalling – hallelujah I thought. Imagine my disappointment when I read on and found that no misprint was involved – can I sue?” – Richard Hirst.

Just a quick one on yesterday’s David Squires cartoon about Nicolas Jover. Was that Timothée Chalamet as the fourth person on Graham Norton’s couch or Thomas Frank? Not that it actually matters, BUT it does give some casting ideas for any potential Brentford FC film” – Christian Lean.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Christian Lean, who wins a copy of the new David Squires book, Chaos in the Box. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

David’s latest tome, Chaos in the Box, is out now! Order it at a £3 discount, here.

Our men’s countdown continues with Nos 70-41. Here at Guardian Towers we played a game of picking the best row of players to form a five-a-side team. Ours was 61-65.

Chelsea boss Enzo Maresca says the club “trust” Mykhailo Mudryk did not knowingly take a banned substance that led to him failing a drugs test. “I think he is going to come back but we don’t know when,” he said. “But for sure he is going to come back.”

Hot on the heels of Eddie Howe believing the Worthington’s Cup can offer a trophy springboard for Newcastle, Mikel Arteta reckons it can offer a similar bounce to Arsenal.

Your Fifa Best players of 2024: Vinícius Júnior and Aitana Bonmatí. USA! USA!! USA!!!’s Emma Hayes is women’s coach of the year.

Hayes’ former side, Chelsea, topped their Women’s Champions League group thanks to Catarina Macario’s brace of penalties against Real Madrid. Sid Lowe was at the Estadio Alfredo di Stéfano.

And Red Bull Salzburg, until last season serial winners of the Austrian Bundesliga, have airlifted in Thomas Letsch to replace Peipijn Lijnders, who was hoofed on Monday with the club fifth, 10 points behind Sturm Graz.

Blackpool manager Steve Bruce huffily watched youngsters from one of his former clubs knock his side out of the Vertu Trophy (subs, please look up) … but only after a shootout featuring 38 spot-kicks, a new English professional record. After playing out a 1-1 draw at Bloomfield Road, Aston Villa’s Under-21s emerged victorious, despite all signs pointing towards a straightforward conclusion as two of the first five penalties were missed. But then: 35 straight successes. The unluckiest of all missers was home full-back Jordan Lawrence-Gabriel – having scored his side’s eighth penalty, his second effort finally brought an end to proceedings as it struck the right post, before Villa goalkeeper Oliwier Zych mustered a weary celebration having thrown himself in all directions for 19 efforts, saving none. He did score one though, as did his Blackpool counterpart Richard O’Donnell. Villa conga-ed their way through to the last 16, however. “We haven’t done enough,” Bruce lamented.

Tuesday’s match made a mockery of Preston’s comparatively brief 16-15 Fizzy Cup shootout victory over Fulham in September, and it lags some way behind the world record: a 56-kick epic from May which Israel’s Dimona won 23-22 against Shimshon Tel Aviv.

Sophie Downey delivers the latest edition of our sister email on Gibraltar Women, who are ready to rock in their competitive debut.

Marcus Rashford needs a fresh start but reviving his career will not be easy, writes Jonathan Wilson.

Mykhailo Mudryk’s failed drugs test threatens to ruin a career that has flatlined at Chelsea, reckons Jacob Steinberg.

Maradona and Kvaradona both feature in the Napoli instalment of fantasy Serie A five-a-side teams.

Megan Swanick heaps praise on USA! USA!! USA!!! favourite Becky Sauerbrunn, who announced her retirement on Tuesday.

And which English sides escaped relegation after being bottom at Christmas? The Knowledge knows.

Fun and games at Portsmouth in 2008 as Sean Davis drives on to the training ground in a Reliant Robin while playing the theme tune from ‘The A-Team’. The Pompey players bought the vehicle to award to the player with the worst predictions in Big Cup. Each time a player was awarded the three-wheeler they had to customise it in some way.