Maybe Fede Valverde, Real Madrid’s man of the match at the Etihad, said it best: “Against all odds. Acting like dead people. THIS IS FOOTBALL HERITAGE REAL MADRID.” Yes, Manchester City are out, Madrid are through, water is wet. Stick your xG, bookies’ odds, possession stats, and moral victories. Liam Gallagher, Ricky Hatton, Jason Manford, your boys took one hell of a beating. So Madrid continued their inevitable march towards another Big Cup semi-final, their 12th in the last 14 years. Sometimes over the years they have bullied and swaggered their way to victory, through Sergio Ramos headers or Gareth Bale bicycle kicks. Sometimes, as on Wednesday, they have grafted, ridden their luck, found a goal or a pass or a tackle from nowhere, watched as their opponents have inexplicably squandered their chances – like a Bond villain missing a point-blank shot with an automatic weapon, only to see 007 cling on for dear life and triumph at the last. Madrid always find a way. Carlo Ancelotti always finds a way. How do they do it?

“I think one of our biggest strengths is that we’re so off the cuff,” jazz trumpeted Jude Bellingham shortly after the game. “You know, as a man, Carlo just fills you with calmness and confidence. Before the game, I caught him yawning and asked him: ‘Boss, are you tired?’ He said you need to go and excite me out there, that’s the calmness and confidence he brings.” It’s the sort of quote that would make Pep Guardiola spontaneously combust. If pressing and counter-pressing and Jack Grealish square passes to Rodri and byline cut-backs and domination of the half spaces and tactical fouls are his minutiae-inspired blueprint to success, how does Don Carlo – all eyebrows and cigars, the people’s champ, friend first, boss second, probably entertainer third – ‘vibe’ his way past the City supercomputer? It seems nobody really has an answer. “I will sleep very well tonight, with a beer,” explained Ancelotti, almost apologetically.

Meanwhile, a victory of a different kind in Germany, as Bayern deservingly joined Madrid in the last four with a 3-2 aggregate win over Arsenal, who tumbled out of Big Cup with a whimper. “A [Big Cup] journey to be proud of,” small-energied the Gunners’ official Social Media Disgrace accounts, seemingly forgetting that their victories in this European campaign have been against an out-of-sorts Sevilla, Lens, PSV, before (scraping past) Porto and losing to the worst Bayern side in a decade (who didn’t have any fans in the first leg and missed Alphonso Davies, Serge Gnabry and Kingsley Coman in the second).

But for Bayern, in a season of turmoil in which they lost the title with five games to spare and went out of the German Cup to third-tier opposition, this Big Cup run represents something of redemption for Thomas Tuchel and co. Harry Kane may yet win a trophy. Maybe then Eric Dier, Bayern’s unlikely hero at the back, said it best: “It was nice,” the former Spurs defender profoundly remarked. “Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah. Nice, nice, nice. Nice to knock [Arsenal] out, to be honest.” Never a truer sentence spoken.

Join Michael Butler from 8pm BST for hot Big Vase minute-by-minute coverage of Atalanta 1-3 Liverpool (agg: 4-3), while Daniel Harris will be on deck at the same time for West Ham 1-2 Bayer Leverkusen (agg: 1-4).

“The FA Cup is our biggest asset and generates over 60% of our revenue to invest into the game so it is critical to secure a strong format for the future. The new schedule ensures the magic of the cup is protected and enhanced, whilst working for the whole of the English game” – FA chief suit Mark Bullingham bugles good news for Premier League clubs the scrapping of replays from next season. Because nothing says “magic of the cup” quite like the new plan to stage fourth-round ties over six nights from Friday to Wednesday. Tranmere vice-chair Nicola Palios has led the inevitable backlash, fuming: “The FA and the Premier League have reached an agreement to suit themselves further at the expense of the rest of the football pyramid; 729 teams compete in the FA Cup. Why is its format being dictated by the Premier League who represent circa three per cent of them?”

Seeing Pompey’s John Mousinho referred to as the ‘Pro Evo version of the Special One’ (yesterday’s Football Daily) got me wondering: what would the Football Daily Pro Evo equivalents be? Mack Russian and Barney Greatending have a nice ring to them” – Tom Murray-Rust.

Re: yesterday’s Memory Lane (full email edition). Footballers do actually still run pubs, even in the modern era. I’d like to nominate Newcastle United’s former French left-back Olivier Bernard and give a big shout out to The Masons Arms in Blyth. It’s always worth name-checking Ollie for an excuse to watch this again and again” – Jason Rohan.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Jason Rohan.

Despite not playing since Saturday, Celtic are two rather large steps closer to the Scottish Premiership title, courtesy of Rangers’ trips to Ross County and Dundee. Sunday’s historic 3-2 defeat in Dingwall was hugely damaging, but a 0-0 draw in their re-rescheduled game at Dens Park has put the tin lid on a week to forget, leaving Philippe Clement’s side three points adrift of their bitter rivals – and with a trip to Parkhead to come. In response to the fans who got their boos on, Clement replied: “They need to stick with the team. It is winning together and losing points together. I know as a fan you have the emotions after the game. But they have been great the last couple of months and pushing the team over difficult moments. That is what I expect also in this situation.” Dundee, meanwhile, have been hit with a £186,000 fine for the state of their pitch and repeated postponements this season.

Manchester City out of Big Cup = transfer news.

Chelsea are back on top of the WSL, swatting Aston Villa aside 3-0 with the aid of a fifth-minute red card for keeper Anna Leat.

Jürgen Klopp is feeling footloose and fancy free as Liverpool look to overturn their 3-0 Big Vase deficit on the road against Atalanta. “If we fail, then let’s fail in the most beautiful way,” he tooted. “If we want to win, we better play good. If we play good, we have a chance to win it and then we will see.”

Leverkusen coach Xabi Alonso is confident his title-winners won’t be suffering from the kind of hangover Football Daily will have on Saturday morning when they defend a 2-0 lead at West Ham. “Even after a big success, I feel the hunger and desire of these players and this team not to stop,” he cooed.

Roma have made Daniele De Rossi’s interim spell in charge a permanent one “for the foreseeable future”.

Hannah Dingley, who took caretaker charge of Forest Green earlier this season, has left to take up a role as the FAI’s head of women’s and girls football.

And Al-Hilal’s world-record run of consecutive wins is over at 34 after slumping to a 4-2 defeat at Al-Ain in the first leg of their Asian Big Cup semi. “There is no such thing called overconfidence,” sniffed coach Jorge Jesus. “In football, you can’t control what happens in the match. We are not used to conceding four goals and we should sit and analyse why this happened and correct it.”

The latest edition of our sister email focuses on the last four of Women’s Big Cup, with Bayern’s Magdalena Eriksson breaking down the semi-finals. Subscribe to get the full newsletter each Tuesday and Thursday right here.

Won’t somebody please think of the coefficient!? Ah, David Hytner has.

Max Rushden on the Best League in the World™.

John Brewin selects his Big Cup team of the week – featuring Joshua Kimmich breaking a goals record, a smiling Ousmane Dembélé and Noussair Mazraoui keeping Bukayo Saka quiet.

Real Madrid’s will to power shone through on a night Manchester City lost a crucial cutting edge, writes Barney Ronay.

Ed Aarons muses that Mikel Arteta faces his biggest test – to reignite Arsenal’s Premier League challenge – after crashing out of Big Cup in Munich.

“It was obvious Mikel Arteta would be a manager.” Former Arsenal teenage prodigy, Jeff Reine-Adélaïde, speaks to Ed as he resurrects his career.

A big look from July 2002 at Wyclef Jean is pictured leaving trendy London nightspot Pacha and rocking the England shirt.