Thomas Tuchel’s Bayern exit and an impending managerial tug-of-war

Thomas Tuchel will be handing in his Bayern Munich cap at the end of the season, joining the list of former Borussia Dortmund head coaches to wonder what their next move should be. Like Jürgen Klopp, Tuchel has a Big Cup winner’s medal in his back pocket but will be faced with a tough decision on what to do with his life. For someone with an array of trophies to point to on his Wikipedia page, it would seem he could walk into most jobs but failing to win the Bundesliga with Bayern is a colossal shame. They have lost three matches in a row; title rivals Bayer Leverkusen produced an impressive shoeing to grow the gap at the top, then Lazio put Bayern’s Big Cup hopes in doubt and the dreadful week was concluded with a miserable loss at Bochum.

A closer look at Tuchel’s career does throw up a few questions. He never won the league at Dortmund, winning Ligue Urrrrrn with PSG does not really count and at Chelsea he turned up mid-season and lifted Big Cup with someone else’s team before doing likewise with the Bundesliga at the Allianz Arena last season. He has access to a £100m striker - and Eric Choupo-Moting - and is being bested by a bloke in his first senior management job.

Fear not Herr Tuchel, there will always be clubs in crisis who need a manager with a solid pedigree and a willingness to wear a branded cap. Can I introduce you, Thomas, to West Ham United Football Club. They have a recent history of European success, which you will appreciate, and they have an English striker banging in the goals despite the rest of the team not living up to expectations. The further good news is that if he did move back to London, he could give the homeless Harry Kane statue of Chingford a place to nest in his garden and remind him of better/worse days.

There is a knock-on effect of Tuchel heading through the door marked “Do One”. It will lead to a managerial tug-of-war between Liverpool and Bayern for their former midfielder Xabi Alonso. Maybe they could do it fairly, with a toss of a coin and the other team is allowed to appoint a fellow legend who played for both. Dietmar Hamann is available, having last managed in 2011 during a disastrous spell in charge of Stockport. But that is irrelevant because he knows the clubs, which is far more important than experience. Whatever does come of you, Thomas, Football Daily does not, in any way, think you are just a [snip – Bad Word Ed] Tony Pulis. No siree Bob.

Join Barry Glendenning at 8pm (GMT) for Big Cup Round of Arsenal updates on Porto 0-3 Arsenal, while Scott Murray will be on hand at the same time with updates on Napoli 2-2 Barcelona in the Maradona derby. And if that isn’t already enough, Bryan Armen Graham will be all over Liverpool 3-0 Luton in the Premier League from 7.30pm.

“I am a manager. My life is better than yours” – Pep Guardiola, there, giving off Kelis vibes as he puts down a hack who dared ask him what was wrong with being a journalist after Manchester City’s 1-0 win over Brentford.

I read on the big website today that there is a publicly-funded statue of Harry Kane, gathering dust in a council storage facility, for the want of a permanent display location. May I suggest that the Bayern Munich museum would be a suitable location, utilising the space they had reserved for the trophies expected to be won during his stay” – Bernard Clark.

Can’t believe we’re in the Round of Arsenal and nobody’s used the phrase. How the traditions are forgotten eh? Bet you use it elsewhere in today’s missive (yep – Football Daily Ed)” – Andy Taylor.

So is this gonna be a new thing? Are we going to spend the summer wondering which sporting director is going to which club? I mean come on; by definition sporting directors don’t get to be that cool” – Karen As’adi.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Bernard Clark.

Former Crystal Palace player Ryan Hall’s strike from kick-off for Croydon is being looked at by Guinness World Records assessors – here he talks to Ed Aarons about his 2.3 second goal and the viral reaction to it. You can watch the goal too. Blink and you’ll miss it.

As above, a statue of Harry Kane and the local council’s inability to find a home for it has been causing bother in the London borough of Waltham Forest. The initial plan to place it in Chingford Station was dismissed on the grounds that not everyone is a fan of the former Tottenham ace. The next plan, to put him in Ridgeway Park – Kane began his footballing career at Ridgeway Rovers, just like David Beckham – was also dismissed, meaning £7,200 of community dough has been spent on a statue still lying under a tarpaulin in a mystery location within the borough. Oh, Harry!

Sir Big Jim Ratcliffe’s 27.7% buy-in at Manchester United has been given the green light. “To become co-owner of Manchester United is a great honour and comes with great responsibility,” wibbled the Ineos owner, who also reckons he’s invested £1bn in a club not currently set up for success. Yikes!

Liverpool are running out of players for this weekend’s Rumbelows Cup final against Chelsea with the previously indestructible Mo Salah the latest concern on top of a list of other knacked players that would bust our word count.

Marko Arnautovic made up for a series of fluffed chances by giving Inter a 1-0 home victory against Atlético Madrid in the first leg of their Big Cup Round of Arsenal (sorry, Andy – Football Daily Ed) tie.

A Luuk de Jong penalty after the break rescued a 1-1 draw for PSV Eindhoven in their home tie against Borussia Dortmund. Mats Hummels took it well: “Zero percent penalty, zero,” roared the defender. “[Malik] Tillman was cracking up laughing – [Johan] Bakayoko also cracked up laughing, they all looked at me, grinning for several minutes. That is the second ridiculous penalty awarded against us in the [Big Cup].”

In the Championship, Omari Hutchinson scored a stoppage-time winner as Ipswich edged a seven-goal thriller against bottom side Rotherham. Elsewhere, Millwall have shown Joe Edwards through the door marked “Do One” after 19 games in charge.

Rochdale have launched a desperate plea for investment as the club tries to avoid possible liquidation by the end of March.

The ACL curse has struck Chelsea once more with their USA striker Mia Fishel joining Sam Kerr on the treatment table with the same serious knee injury.

Sheffield United manager Chris Wilder has been fined £11,500 for accusing an assistant referee of showing a “complete lack of respect” for eating a sandwich in front of him. Wilder has “accepted this charge” sniggered an FA suit while trying not to make a joke about him having egg on his face.

And transfer talk goes down rabbit hole, goes mad as a march hare etc etc: Arsenal and Chelsea are chasing down Aberdeen’s 15-year-old defender Lewis Carrol.

Andreas Brehme was a giant for Inter in an era when Serie A ruled the world, writes Richard Hall.

The last 16 of Big Cup has repeatedly tripped up Arsenal. Nick Ames sets the scene for the Gunners’ first leg in Porto.

Players who won multiple Big Cup medals but were never capped by their country and games with all-headed goals. The Knowledge goes on a deep dive.

The new MLS season kicks off in the USA USA USA this week. Our panel of experts give their verdicts on whether title glory is inevitable for Inter Miami and Lionel Messi.

Back to May 2006 and a cracking shot of Burnley’s Turf Moor overlooking nearby terraced houses in Burnley.