Tottenham v Arsenal and the silliness of football’s chippiest derby

Panic on the streets of Islington, panic on the streets of Tottenham. Yes, with apologies to the Manchester band that won’t be surge-pricing any time soon, it’s time for the chippiest derby of all. OK, there’s Celtic v Rangers, who have 17th-century geopolitics and Scottish company law to rage at each other about, and Boca v River seems like it can get pwopah nawty. From experience, Swindon v Oxford is one to swerve if you don’t like foul language and United v City can often resemble a seething mass of anoraks and buzzcuts, a right swagger-off. Liverpool v Everton? Often not a fair fight in recent years, despite Sean Dyche pulling off a heist last season.

So yeah, “north London is ours”. That’s what the victor in Sunday’s 2pm summit meeting will be crowing. They really don’t like each other, Arsenal and Spurs. Try getting a fan of one of them to say something nice about the other. You’ll be waiting a long time. And in the finest traditions of football rivalry, they are prepared to be utterly childish about it all. Hence the tradition that became “St Totteringham’s Day” - hilarious to Arsenal fans, a cringe-fest to outsiders - or a refreshed Jack Wilshere grabbing the mic on an open-top bus to ask Gunners fans what they thought of Tottenham, knowing full well the scatological response he would receive.

Only in May, Ange Postecoglou was flabbergasted that Spurs fans actually wanted their team to lose to City so that mob down the road couldn’t win the title. Ange, a straight goer from a part of the world where winning is everything, to be enjoyed with a few sledges chucked on the griddle, had never heard the bloody like. Perhaps he knows now why so many associated with Spurs refer to Arsenal being a south London club, when they deserted Woolwich in 1913, an Old Firm-like test of memory.

Thankfully, such silliness often finds its way into the football. Last season saw a 2-2 draw followed by a 3-2 Gunners away win where they needed to fend off a second-half fightback. That the two clubs have been fighting over similar territory in recent years has added further spice. Though Arsenal currently having their eyes on loftier prizes such as the actual Premier League title rather than a top-four place has ratcheted up the stakes, too. The absence of Arsenal slayer supreme Harry Kane - 14 goals from 16 matches, an awesome record - aids Mikel Arteta, whose own record of five wins, three losses and that draw is decent, too.

Why panic? Tottenham have started sluggishly, were rubbish against Newcastle last time out, and Ange is no longer seen as the second coming of Bill Nicholson. And Arsenal are having a right old wobble, drawing with Brighton when evil City win every game, Declan Rice suspended, Mikel Merino’s shoulder-gah and Martin Ødegaard’s ankle knack producing a wail heard across the galaxy. That neither Postecoglou nor Arteta back down in the chippiness stakes hopefully adds to the prospects of white and black (!? cheers, PGMOL) shirts swarming all over each other and perhaps a few scenes we really don’t want to see but would really like to see. As childish as possible, please.

We have received explanations about the representation of the names and surnames of the players of the Latvian U-21 national team in the official game programme of Tuesday’s match, as well as an apology from the creators of the programme” – the Latvian FA accept the FIA’s admission that a translation error led to some of their players being listed as “Robert the Liar”’ and “Dario Sh!t” before the Euro 2025 qualifier against Republic of Ireland U-21s.

In reporting that Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta had signed a contract extension you mentioned that this was after ‘zero league titles’. Do you mean to suggest that any manager who has failed to win a league title in the past five years is undeserving of a contract? If so please note that besides the currently retired Jürgen Klopp only one man (the bloke at City) has claimed this honour. Might want to consider more realistic standards for retaining a gaffer” – Richard Hourula.

I have to say that I entirely agree with the view of Simon Mazier with regard to the previous day’s letter from Chris Wheal. I have counted the number of words in Chris Wheal’s letter and, following a recount, have reached the conclusion that his assertion regarding long sentences simply doesn’t add up” – Adrian Irving.

Hey, I’ll root for Maurico Pochettino’s team like any other red-blooded whoopin’ USA! USA!! USA!!! supporter (we’ll let you have those exclamation marks – Football Daily Ed). But can we please – please! – bring back the 1950 World Cup kit seen in yesterday’s Memory Lane (full email edition)? For a politically polarised nation, we can surely agree that a jersey with a sash will bring our troubled people back together” – Mike Wilner.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Mike Wilner, who wins a 7” vinyl copy of Manchester United Calypso, a soulful classic reissued by Be With Records. If you’re not a winner, visit their online store to pre-order your own. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

David Beckham joined mourners at the funeral of former England manager Sven-Göran Eriksson in his home town of Torsby in Sweden to hear tributes to a “genuinely kind” man who “loved good food and drink and travelling first class”. Addressing full pews in the Fryksande church, and hundreds more watching outside on a big screen, priest and close friend, Ingela Alvskog, spoke of a final months that had been “full of life” despite Eriksson’s diagnosis with terminal cancer of the pancreas. Eriksson, who died at the age of 76, had left “so many beautiful memories” and had “brought so much joy” and “a lot of laughter” to the lives to his friends and family, including his 95-year-old father, Sven, and children Johan and Lina and partner Yaniseth Alcides, she said. The hour-long church service, which switched between English and Swedish, included renditions of Elton John’s Candle in the Wind, Frank Sinatra’s My Way while a brass band played You’ll Never Walk Alone. Go well, Sven.

Celta Vigo’s former captain Hugo Mallo has been found guilty of the sexual assault of a woman who was working as the Espanyol mascot last season.

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Eddie Howe has not spoken to Paul Mitchell in the nine days since Newcastle’s sporting director claimed he had inherited an unclear transfer strategy, unfit for purpose.

Harvey Elliott has suffered foot-knack while on England Under-21 duty and will face a “sustained period” chatting with Liverpool physios.

Sean Dyche doesn’t feel pain. You want proof? He made himself watch Everton’s last-gasp defeat by Bournemouth “about 47 times” in order to put things right.

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It’s April 1980 and Liam Brady and Ossie Ardiles tussle for the ball in a north London derby that Arsenal won 2-1 despite coming into the match at Tottenham with a slew of injuries and many second-string players. A good omen for the Gunners on Sunday?