What Andy Carroll did next

It seems pretty likely that history will look back on the career of Andy Carroll (if at all) with a certain amount of puzzlement and confusion. Terrifyingly effective £35m goal trebuchet? Knack-prone serial flop? The final flourishing of the English Big Man? The great what-might-have-been of the Capello/Hodgson England eras? A wasted talent whose international caps only arrived because the alternative was Jay Bothroyd?

Whatever the final reckoning, the 35-year-old is clearly keen on adding a few more chapters to the story, last month penning a deal with ailing French club Bordeaux of – thanks to bankruptcy – the fourth-tier Championnat National 2. And thus far Carroll’s spell with Les Girondins has undeniably been a success. On his debut against Châteaubriant he scored 72nd- and 88th-minute goals to help his team earn a point from 2-0 down, and he followed that up with another brace against Saumur, his 84th-minute winner earning the team a 2-1 victory – their first of the season. His four goals means he has already equalled his second most-prolific campaign since 2016-17.

There have been a few eyebrows raised that a club reeling from financial difficulties are forking out for a veteran who, not all that long ago, was pulling in £80,000 a week in wages. “My salary is lower than the rent I pay,” Carroll told L’Equipe this week. “If I joined Bordeaux, it’s not for money. I’ve had proposals to play in Saudi Arabia but I was not interested … I’d love to continue playing every Saturday at least until I’m 40, whatever the level. My goal is to become a LeBron James, meaning playing on the same team as my eldest son, Lucas, who is 14. It would be wonderful to experience that, in Bordeaux or elsewhere.”

However, playing for the cash-strapped club does have the odd drawback. “Bus travel is not easy,” he added, struggling furiously with a recalcitrant armrest. “The other day, it took us six hours to get to Saumur, and during the journey I stretched out in the middle aisle. It’s a change from the 40-minute private jet flights we used to take in the Premier League.” Thankfully for the striker there will be no need for road travel this weekend, albeit potentially a brief trip on Bordeaux’s extensive tram network if desired – Les Girondins face Avranches at home on Saturday.

Join Niall McVeigh from 8pm BST for hot Championship MBM coverage of Leeds United 0-0 Sheffield United.

“I’d been at Arsenal a long time, I kind of sniffed what things would be like. I wanted to experience a new chapter” – Charlie Patiño gets his chat on with Sid Lowe about a new life with Deportivo de La Coruña.

Re: the Thomas Tuchel hoo-haa (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). I recall no such fuss in Scotland back in 2002 when Berti Vogts was appointed Scotland manager. The bother only started after his departure in 2004 when he resigned, Scotland having plummeted to 77th in the Fifa rankings. I will be watching Tuchel’s tenure in his new post with interest. Bearing in mind he only has 18 months in the job, the question is how far England might tumble in that time?” – Bob Colman.

Following on from Harriet’s mail in yesterday’s letters, the Chelsea-to-international-management path isn’t just a recent phenomenon, indeed it’s a route well travelled. Further examples include: Glenn Hoddle; Tommy Docherty, who left Scotland before the 1974 World Cup campaign; Big Phil Scolari, who went back to Brazil; Claudio Ranieri, who managed Greece; Guus Hiddink, who had stints at Turkey and Holland between his two interim gigs, and Curacao after his final one; Dave Sexton, who managed England under-21s; and Avram Grant, who spent three years in charge of Ghana and who is now managing Zambia. It’s harder to find an ex-Chelsea manager who didn’t then venture into international management at some point” – Alex Metcalfe.

Re: the Bolivian air being ‘so thin visiting teams might as well be trying to play in outer space’ (yesterday’s Football Daily). Reminds me of a marvellous comment by Teddy Sheringham when, for who knows what reason, he was asked about playing against a team from Mars. ‘Tricky,’ he replied. ‘They’d be good in the air’” – Mark Dawson.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Alex Metcalfe. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

Thomas Tuchel has been given a warm welcome by Premier League bosses after taking the job none of them wanted. “Listen, I will talk to anyone who knocks on my front door … but not in the respect of entering conversations about leaving Newcastle,” forward-defensive-ed Eddie Howe, warm favourite to be England boss when Gareth Southgate stepped down. “No I wasn’t, no,” he replied, asked if he had been one of the 10 interviewees. That his release would cost £6m wasn’t mentioned. Pep Guardiola is, meanwhile, so so happy for Tuchel: “I wish the very, very best for both of them.” He then turned into John Lennon on the question of nationality: “All around the world, in the wars we have, it’s because you believe you are better than the other one. What happened in Russia, Israel, in Ukraine, and Gaza … and all these places in Africa. It’s terrible.” As for Mikel Arteta, he says he’d rather do the job than coach Spain. “I’ll have that feeling towards it because I always feel respected, welcomed and inspired by this country and the history of football and how you get treated daily,” he cooed.

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Ronnie Gibbons, a former captain of Fulham’s women team, has alleged she was sexually assaulted by the club’s late owner, Mohamed Al Fayed, in 2000. Gibbons, who would have been 20 at the time, has said she was forcefully kissed, groped and had twice felt trapped in a room by Fayed, who owned Fulham between 1997 and 2013, and died in 2023.

Notts County striker Cedwyn Scott has been granted a leave of absence from the League Two club in order to prioritise his mental health. “The support I’ve received from the club, my family and friends has been fantastic and I would like to take this opportunity to encourage anyone else who is struggling to please seek the help they need,” he said.

Nottingham Forest boss Nuno Espírito Santo has been handed a three-match touchline ban and fined £55,000 after blowing a fuse during the game against Brighton, while Plymouth boss Wayne Rooney has been given a one-match touchline ban and fined £5,500 after flipping his lid towards the end of Argyle’s win over Blackburn.

As Jimmy Cricket often said, there’s more: Forest owner Evangelos Marinakis has also been given a five-match stadium ban following “improper” behaviour around the tunnel in their 1-0 defeat to Fulham in September.

Erik ten Hag says he hasn’t felt the need to seek any assurances about his position at Manchester United. “The only noise is only coming from the media,” he whispered. “Bringing up stories, creating stories, creating fairytales, making noise, bringing lies … because I know we are on one page, this club. Internal in the club it’s quiet.”

In if-it-quacks-like-a-duck news, Wolves’s Gary O’Neil reckons his side’s start to the season “looks like a disaster”. “But if you look into the situation you will easily see there is enough there to have a real clear view that we can turn this around,” he cheered.

And Brighton beware: go with Manchester United manager Marc Skinner if you want to live. Or just keep tabs on former striker Elisabeth Terland before Saturday’s WSL meeting. “If you look at the way the Terminator would see in the movie, and it is like you’re narrowing down the angle – that’s how I see Lizzie’s brain working because she’s so ruthless in those moments,” he roared.

Ten of your Premier League things to look out for this weekend.

Winless but not hopeless: the state of the Premier League’s bottom four.

Brighton chat No 1: Fabian Hürzeler.

Brighton chat No 2: Nikita Parris.

Dominic Booth checks in on the upper echelons of League One and asks: is it Hollywood or bust?

Go go (MLS) power rankings!

Come and have a go if you think you’re clever enough: it’s the quiz of the week.

Everton and Ipswich face off at Portman Road on Saturday, the first meeting between the sides in nearly 23 years. And you have to go even further back to find the last time Everton were victorious against the Tractor Boys, Nick Barmby scoring the only goal in a 1-0 FA Cup win at Goodison Park in January 1999, a game in which Marco Materazzi – who would’ve thought it? – saw red for the home side. In this shot from that tie, Danny Cadamarteri goes all Neo-from-The-Matrix as an impressed Tony Mowbray watches on.