Doc, I just want to be happy.” It’s what my patients tell me all the time, usually at our first appointment. We spend some time on that, because happiness is complicated. We feel like it’s an end point to strive for, but aiming for it generally leaves people tired, frustrated, and…not happy.

Instead, I encourage people to focus on feeling fulfilled. Unlike happiness, which is fleeting and difficult to attain, fulfillment is a state of being that is all about accepting who you are, being grateful for what you have, and remaining optimistic about the future. Side benefit: You may find happiness as you seek fulfillment. And fulfillment is actually easier to achieve—especially when you let go of the following myths about happiness.