1. GA Students Suspended for Posting Photos of Packed Reopening

  PUNISHING WHISTLEBLOWERS 

“This is not ok. Not to mention the 10% mask rate,” one 15-year-old student wrote.

2. Calif. Officials Admit: ‘No Idea’ if COVID Numbers Are Right

 IN THE DARK 

The state’s electronic system for tallying cases, ironically called CalREDIE, isn’t working, as death toll tops 10,000.

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3. You’d Never Guess I Was Wearing These PJs During a Zoom Call

 HENLEY HEAVEN 

Brooklinen’s Henleys are the comfiest thing I own. And they don’t look half bad, either.

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4. Biden Apologizes for Saying Black Community Isn’t Diverse

 SENSITIVITY TRAINING 

“In no way did I mean to suggest the African American community is a monolith,” he said.

5. Trump Issues Executive Order Banning TikTok in 45 Days

 OH NO YOU DON’T 

The move is the latest in a saga of Trump saying he’ll ban the short-form video app then walking it back to allow a sale to Microsoft.

6. This Is the Bug Spray That Saved My Summer

 BUZZ 

This bug spray is DEET-free, is the perfect size, and most importantly, actually works.

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7. Eurovision Tells U.S. to Brace for ‘American Song Contest’

 EUROPEAN INVASION 

It will see U.S. state representatives sing their hearts out to claim the not-yet-prestigious trophy.

8. Judge: Trump Rape Accuser Can Go Ahead With Defamation Suit

 BE MY GUEST 

E. Jean Carroll alleges the president defamed her when he said she was “totally lying” about their past.

9. Oakland A’s Coach Apologizes for ‘Unintentional’ Nazi Salute

 ‘ADAPTED ELBOW BUMP’ 

When he realized what he was doing, he reportedly said: “Oh no, it’s like ‘Heil Hitler.’”

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10. Ukrainian Oligarch in Trump Impeachment Stole Billions: Feds

 MONEY TRAIL 

The Justice Department has moved to seize properties belonging to Ihor Kolomoisky in Kentucky and Texas.

11. COVID Kills Otherwise Healthy 7-Year-Old Georgia Boy

 TRAGIC 

The child, who was not identified, is now the youngest victim in the state.

12. New Model: Masks Could Save 66K Lives. Otherwise, 300K Dead.

 THE CHOICE IS OURS 

“It appears that people are wearing masks and socially distancing more frequently as infections increase, then after a while as infections drop, people let their guard down.”

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13. Teacher With Virus Symptoms Dies During 1st Week of School

 ‘ROUGH DAY’ 

Nacoma James, 42, spent the summer coaching the Lafayette, Mississippi, high school football team.

14. Debate Commission Denies Trump Request for Fourth Debate

 NOPE, SORRY 

The commission also denied the campaign’s request to select the new debate’s moderators.

15. Former Saudi Spy Alleges MBS Ordered His Assassination

 INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE 

Saad Aljabri accused bin Salman of sending the elite assassins known as the Tiger Squad to kill him in Toronto.

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