1. GOPers Panic as Dems Take ‘Astronomical’ Early Lead: WaPo

  IN THE DUST 

Mitch McConnell has reportedly urged Trump to stop bashing mail-in voting after the early numbers sent a chill down Republican spines.

2. Undecided Voter: Trump Acted Like ‘a Crackhead’ at Debate

 DON’T HOLD BACK 

The voter, Ruthie of Pennsylvania, took part in a focus group of 15 fence-sitting voters conducted by veteran Republican pollster Frank Luntz.

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3. Everyone Should Own This Collapsible Colander

 TA-DA 

A colander is a kitchen must-have. Specifically this colander.

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4. Santorum: Trump ‘Doesn’t Like’ Condemning White Supremacists

 CHARLOTTESVILLE 2.0 

The pro-Trump pundit admitted that the president refuses to “say something bad” about white supremacists because they are his supporters.

5. Trump Family Goes Without Masks to Presidential Debate

 CAUTION TO THE WIND 

The first family sat in the front row without face coverings despite guidance developed for the debate by doctors.

6. Have a Hole in Your Window Screen? This Tape May Help

 CREAKY SCREEN 

This tape is just a roll of screen material that is easy to slap on to any screen in your home to make it as good as new.

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7. Loud Explosion Over Paris Ruffles a City Already on Edge

 JE SUIS NOISY 

Police confirmed that the blast was caused by a fighter jet breaching the sound barrier. The sound even interrupted play at the French Open.

8. ICE Plans ‘Sanctuary City’ Raids as Election Stunt: Report

 PLAYING POLITICS 

Officials with knowledge of plans reportedly described it as more of a political-messaging campaign than an important immigration operation.

9. Portland Sheriff Shoots Down Trump’s Brag About Endorsement

 JUST NOT TRUE 

Trump boasted at Tuesday night’s debate about securing the endorsement of Portland’s sheriff—but the sheriff says he never has and never will support the president.

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10. Pastor in Failed Exorcism Did Meth With Churchgoers: Cops

 DRUGS AND DEMONS 

The pastor reportedly admitted to using meth with church members, including the mother of a 21-month-old later found “life threateningly emaciated” after an attempted “exorcism.”

11. Wallace Finally Has Enough, Shouts Down Trump and Biden

 ‘WE’RE MOVING ON!’ 

“The answer to the question is no, sir,” Wallace fired back, adding: “I hate to raise my voice!”

12. Iowa Defies CDC, Cuts Quarantine for Those Exposed to COVID

 NO REALLY, IT’S FINE 

Iowa is already a coronavirus hotspot, but the state’s governor said the change would help schools by allowing more students to remain at their desks.

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13. Essence Magazine Furloughs Staff, Citing Pandemic

 MAJOR LOSSES 

The storied magazine said it had been hit hard by coronavirus-related event cancellations.

14. Protests Erupt in India After Teen Rape Victim Dies

 ‘HORRIFIC’ 

The 19-year-old was from a lower caste and the suspects are from a higher one, leading to accusations of discrimination by authorities.

15. Parrots Removed From England Zoo for Swearing at Visitors

 FOWL-MOUTHED 

“I get called a fat t--t every time I walk past,” the head of the wildlife park said.

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