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Hometown Hero: Pam Smith uses her life’s hardships as a guide to help others

Monitor staff

Pam Smith remembers her son’s 6th birthday. She was in a panic at work because she had no money for a cake, let alone a gift. That’s when a co-worker told her to go to Friends of Forgotten Children. Smith soon found herself with a toy truck, frosting and cake mix to go home and celebrate.
Pam Smith
I At that time in her life, she told co-workers she was trying to lose weight walking to work, The reality was she could not afford gas because she was living paycheck to paycheck.

Now Smith is the executive director of Friends of Forgotten Children in Concord where every day she helps people who were in the same shoes she was 30 years ago.

“Everything that I do now is based off problems I’ve had in life,” she said. “I wish I had this place when I was growing up.”

Smith has suffered from mental illness and domestic violence. Now, as a grandmother, she cares for her two grandchildren because their parents suffer from substance abuse issues.

“I’m not the same person you would have seen 30 years ago,” she said. “People can be successful. I hate it when people say ‘oh, they were in jail. Oh, they were in the state hospital.’ It just makes me upset because I have been through all that stuff. People can change. You just have to have somebody that gives you that little lift.”

On their website, Friends of Forgotten Children says it is a “100% volunteer-run provider of clothes, food and holiday gifts for low-income and at-risk individuals and families.”

Yet when Smith explained the services she provides — from taking children back-to-school-shopping to providing baby clothes to running a peer support group for substance abuse — the Friends of Forgotten Children’s headquarters on Bog Road serves as a lifeline for people in the Concord community.

Smith in fact grew up a few houses down from the organization’s blue house. At the time, the lot was a dog pound where she would come to play with the animals.

As a child, Smith suffered from undiagnosed dyslexia. She was also bullied for the clothes she wore.

“You don’t even want to learn if everybody’s making fun of you,” she said.
So she started the anti-bullying program through Forgotten Friends that allows her to take children shopping for back-to-school clothes. Last year, she helped 20 kids.

Two sisters had never been to a mall before.

“They’re more excited about the escalator. One’s going into seventh, one’s going into fifth [grade]. Can you imagine that isolation?” she said.

The girls left the mall that day with clothes that fit and new pairs of Vans. Later, Smith dropped off a backpack of school supplies for both of them.

“If I help one person then it’s made my day,” she said. “It makes me feel good. It makes me feel accomplished.”

Smith not only helps the people she provides for with clothes and food donations. The Friends of Forgotten Children building also serves volunteers’ needs.

“Everybody that volunteers here is here for different reasons,” she said. “You’ve got to take people where they’re at.”

One woman started volunteering after she was released from the state hospital. She was afraid of people and needed to socialize before she was able to find a full-time job.

Smith has seen widows volunteer who don’t want to be alone. Or people recovering from substance abuse issues who want to talk through their experience with others going through treatment in the peer support program.
And the center helps Smith also. After her daughter passed away in 2014, she found that volunteering was one of few things that could help manage her depression.

“This is what keeps me well,” she said. “This is my medicine.”

Smith started volunteering with Friends of Forgotten Children 16 years ago. For the past three, she has served as executive director.

Each room at Friends of Forgotten Children highlights a different service — one closet is full of baby clothes and supplies for new parents. A back room is filled with furniture and appliances for the “start from scratch” program that helps furnish new apartments for people recently released from prison or the state hospital or fleeing domestic violence.

The front room serves as a grocery store where people can come and take food for their family. Different labels show how many of each item people are allowed.
“It’s very degrading if you have to take things and someone hands you a box. What if you don’t eat that food? Or what if you don’t like the food? It’s hard enough that you can’t give your kids nice cookies,” she said.

To take food or clothes from Friends of Forgotten Children, Smith doesn’t check people’s incomes. Instead, all she asks is the number of people per household so she knows how many items to give away.

Another pantry stores canned and dry food for kids to take home on the weekends. In one corner, piles of blankets are ready for children to take home at Christmas. Kids also get to ask for one present. Last year, Smith gave toys to 500 kids.

In her role as executive director, Smith wears many hats. In December she fills in for Santa, at Thanksgiving she makes sure there’s food for a Thanksgiving meal. She has also served as a counselor, telling people to take a shower or put on a new outfit before a job interview.

“It’s more than just handing out food and stuff,” she said. “It’s really helping people, seeing where they’re at.”

A black sign next to the office door serves as a mantra for Smith, who does this work unpaid. In white letters, it reads, “never look down on anyone unless you’re helping him up.”

“This is what keeps me well. This is fun. When it stops being fun, when people don’t like what we’re doing here then I’m out,” she said. “But I love it.”

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