Your question hits close to home. I spent many years expecting relationship “fairness.” Over time I concluded it wasn’t realistic, useful, or healthy. Give me a moment to explain, then I’ll try to offer practical advice.

Your desire is to have your concerns heard and validated. Nothing wrong there. But your central argument is that he should do it because you do it. You believe that he should be more motivated to hear and validate you because you’ve earned it. Human beings have a hardwired expectation of reciprocity. It’s part of what makes us cooperative creatures. If you say good morning to someone, it’s natural to expect a return greeting. And they often feel a reciprocal obligation to do so. If I hold the door for you, you’re more likely to hold the next one for me. Likewise, I unconsciously expect you to get the next one. After all, fair is fair.

When we travel from one organization to another, we carry with us a host of attitudes and habits, not all of them positive. In our upcoming webinar, the fun and engaging Scott Robley will explain how leaders can unpack employee carry-ons and make room in the organization for what’s inside.

Join us live in Atlanta, Georgia, and learn how to:

• Master performance discussions.
• Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
• Strengthen trust and reliability.
• Influence behavior for good.
• Get better results and improve relationships.