Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, December 3 The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up! They are still disorganized with the live web cams, but hopefully they can get them working soon. Every year it is a competition to see if the good people can protect the goat, or whether the punks can set it on fire. Millions of people all over the world watch the web cams hoping to see the punks in time to alert the cops and fire department. Once I find a working live web cam, I will post it again, as usual. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby. ______________________________________________________ Today, December 3 in 1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges Claude. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. --- Joseph Stalin (1879 - 1953) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for returning this classic: A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.' So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' God simply replied 'You are what you are.' The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?' The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'' St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.' The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?' 'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.'' (.. Caution... If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton & Jesse will be on yo' ahss) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dolly for this: My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely, And so does my lawn. I think I might never..... Put my glasses back on. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a big hug." ______________________________________________________ Camo Cat _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mathew Law, 50 in jail, Bristol, Britain British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby. Mathew Law, 50, is the eighth person to be convicted as part of an investigation by the National Crime Agency (NCA), following a two week trial at Bristol Crown Court. He first came into contact with the paedophile ring, who communicated using anonymous software Tor and the dark web, through prominent member Christopher Knight. Knight, 38, was jailed for 24 years in 2015 after being convicted of rape of a child under 13, conspiracy to rape a child under 13, sexual assault of a child under 13 and possessing indecent images of children. Law pleaded guilty to conspiring to rape a child under the age of 13 and has been remanded into custody to be sentenced at a later date. 'Mathew Law is the eighth individual to be jailed since this investigation began in 2014,' Luke Phillips from the NCA said. From: Debbie Re: Not sent mail returned Dear Webby, Here I am again...:o) I just got an email that said "Your message has encountered delivery problems to the following recipient(s): claudio.oliveira@twaron.com.br Delivery failed User not known" I know I can trust you. I don't know who this person is. I didn't email anyone with that address. Attached are two files AT00026.dat and AT00029.dat could these be some kind of a virus or spy ware? Thank you so much for saving my day so many times! Debbie Delete the attached files and then delete that email. That Brasilian address is just a spoof, to make you curious enough to click on those attachments. That email was sent from an infected machine that has your address in an Outlook Express address book, probably the machine of a friend or relative of yours. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Cookie for this story: A Minnesota Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "Listen mister, I have the authority of the State of Minnesota to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land." So the old farmer went over, sat down and picked up his newpaper. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the Highways employee at every step. The old farmer called out, "Show him your card, smartass!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Ruth took her car to her mechanic. She told him 'Every time I Take any of my friends out in my car, After a while there is this terrible smell !! . It never happens when I am driving alone'?? This intrigued the mechanic, so he said, 'OK, lets go for a spin And see what the problem is.' Off they went. She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction At 70 MPH, swerving, Hitting the curb on both sides of the street, Narrowly missed three pedestrians in Pedestrian crossings, Ran several red lights, And just missed a Policeman on street traffic duty. Then, they returned to the shop, and she said, 'There it is now... there's that terrible smell! Can you smell it?' 'Smell it? Lady, I'm sittin' in it ! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Credit Card Rewards Don't be fooled by a credit card company's claims that credit cards can help you save money. Finance charges quickly erase any benefits that credit cards offer in cash back incentives unless you pay your credit card off at the end of each month. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Peter Jackson's Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I've Seen |
___________________________________________________ Mother cat with several kittens are walking in the park when a handsome Tom cat walks by and says, "Hi, Honey." Mother cat says, "Don't you 'Honey' me! You said we were only fighting!" ___________________________________________________ Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost. The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15 or so I think." "Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening." "To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
"Vocabulary Building" 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404 man." ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week." IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running in reverse. | Today December 3 in 1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was eventually put to death for the 33 charges. 1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly coeducational school of higher education in the United States. 1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance Company issued the first fire insurance policy. 1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges Claude. 1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 years of planning and construction. The bridge suffered partial collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11). 1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire" opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House Un- American Activities Committee announced that former Communist spy Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of secret documents hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm. 1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days after that. 1967 The famed luxury train, "20th Century Limited," completed its final run from New York to Chicago. 1968 The rules committee of Major League Baseball (MLB) announced that in 1969 the pitcher's mound would be lowered from 15 to 10 inches. This was done in order to "get more batting action." 1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter. The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two White House entrances. 1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The plant was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary. 1992 The UN Security Council unanimously approved a U.S.-led military mission to help starving Somalians. 1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna, Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil. 1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting her public appearances because she was tired of the media's intrusions into her life. 1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a cease- fire in their 18-year war. 1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested for his role in a 1979 coup. 1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of anti- personnel land mines. The United States, China and Russia did not sign the treaty. 1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International Monetary Fund to bailout its economy. 1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands. 1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests by various groups who had no clue what the meeting was aboout, but they caused $2 Billion in damages. 1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after its first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010. 2018 Do smiled. |
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