Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 27 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 27, in 1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a pictorial transmission machine called television. ___________________________________________________ The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals. --- Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919) Life is too short for traffic. --- Dan Bellack Life is too important to take seriously. --- Corky Siegel ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child'scheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Man dead, woman critically injured in Phoenix shooting ____________________________________________________   Katie ____________________________________________________ A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Twenty," said Buffy. So the girl bought the twenty rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 12 rolls left over. "Buffy," she said. "I bought twenty rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 12 left over!" "Amazing!" said Buffy. "So did I." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Manuel Ybarra, Phoenix, Arizona, USA  Man dead, woman critically injured in Phoenix shooting  A man has been accused of killing his father and critically injuring a woman in a shooting near 35th Avenue and Thomas Road back in December. According to Phoenix Police, the shooting happened at about 10:20 p.m. on Dec. 28. Officers arrived to an apartment complex and found a woman outside who had been "shot multiple times on her lower extremities." Inside a nearby apartment unit was Leandro Gonzales, who had also been shot multiple times. He died at the scene. The woman was taken to the hospital in critical condition, but survived. She claimed they were shot by Leandro's son, who she knew as Gordo. She told investigators that she had Gordo's cell phone number in her phone under the contact name Manuel. A subsequent database search from police revealed his identity as Manuel Angel Ybarra. The woman identified Ybarra as the man who shot her and Gonzales. Through an anonymous tip, police took Ybarra into custody at an apartment near 43rd Avenue and Glendale. "[Ybarra] maintained that he was not there and didn't shoot anyone," court documents said. "Manuel only said that he was sad for his dad and that he didn't do it." Ybarra was booked into jail and faces multiple charges including first-degree murder, attempted first-degree murder and discharging a firearm within city limits.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Re:  Have FUN! DearWebby 
 A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then says well, then, let it read "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read: 'Fred Brown died: golf clubs for sale.'" 
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 _____________________________________________  Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?" ______________________________________________ An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the day when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. It's me. My wife told me to quit drinking." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed Little Johnny in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When Little Johnny's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said Little Johnny. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, kid, we're gonna get a free haircut!'" ___________________________________________________  
 Today, January 27, in 1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators began. They were executed on January 31. 1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent lamp. 1888 The National Geographic Society was founded in Washington, DC. 1900 In China, foreign diplomats in Peking, fearing a revolt, demanded that the imperial government discipline the Boxer rebels. 1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a pictorial transmission machine called television. 1927 United Independent Broadcasters Inc. started a radio network with contracts with 16 stations. The company later became Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS). 1943 During World War II, the first all American air raid against Germany took place when about 50 bombers attacked Wilhlemshaven. 1944 The Soviet Union announced that the two year German siege of Leningrad had come to an end. 1945 Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland. 1948 Wire Recording Corporation of America announced the first magnetic tape recorder. The Wireway machine with a built-in oscillator sold for $149.50. 1951 In the U.S., atomic testing in the Nevada desert began as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on Frenchman Flats. 1967 At Cape Kennedy, FL, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus" Grissom, Edward H. White and Roger B. Chaffee died in a flash fire during a test aboard their Apollo I spacecraft. 1967 More than 60 nations signed the Outer Space Treaty which banned the orbiting of nuclear weapons and placing weapons on celestial bodies or space stations. 1973 The Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris. 1977 The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's ban on female priests. 1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted the 52 former American hostages released by Iran at the White House. 1984 Wayne Gretzky set a National Hockey League (NHL) record for consecutive game scoring. He ended the streak at 51 games. 1985 The Coca-Cola Company, of Atlanta, GA, announced a plan to sell its soft drinks in the Soviet Union. 1992 Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson went on trial for allegedly raping an 18-year-old contestant in the 1991 Miss Black America Contest. 1996 Mahamane Ousmane, the first democratically elected president of Niger, was overthrown by a military coup. Colonel Ibrahim Bare Mainassara declared himself head of state. 1997 It was revealed that French national museums were holding nearly 2,000 works of art stolen from Jews by the Nazis during World War II. 1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on NBC's "Today" show. She charged that the allegations against her husband were the work of a "vast right-wing conspiracy." 1999 The U.S. Senate blocked dismissal of the impeachment case against President Clinton and voted for new testimony from Monica Lewinsky and two other witnesses. 2002 A series of explosions occurred at a military dump in Lagos, Nigeria. More than 1,000 people were killed in the blast and in the attempt to escape. 2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent company of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris International and Philip Morris Capital Corporation. 2021 Do smiled. 

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