Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, April 20 ______________________________________________________ Today, April 20 in 1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the radioactive element radium. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Woman faces charges in drunken fatal crash involving fuel truck  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007) The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as the silly extravagances of the poor. --- William Feather _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, my neighbor said, "Well, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's." ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________    An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Kritzia Lopez, 28, Miami-Dade County, Florida  Woman faces charges in drunken fatal crash involving fuel truck  Kritzia Lopez spent her first night at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center and it is likely that Rene Hernandez and Natalia Landin were on her mind. They are the two people who were killed while she was driving drunk and high, according to Florida Highway Patrol. FHP troopers said Lopez, 28, was under the influence of alcohol and marijuana Sept. 21 when she drove the wrong way on Florida's Turnpike. Lopez, 28, was arrested Wednesday on two counts of DUI manslaughter, two counts of vehicular homicide, one count of DUI with serious bodily injuries and four counts of DUI with property damage. Investigators said Lopez first crashed into a Tropic Oil Co. truck near Southwest 88th Street. The truck hit a Chevrolet Impala and a Ford. Hernandez, Landin and Mirta Estupinan were in the Impala. The crash left Hernandez, 68, and Landin, 67, dead. Estupinan, 67, was among the eight people injured. The leaking truck prompted authorities to shut down a portion of the turnpike for several hours. Lopez turned herself in Wednesday night at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center and was booked into jail.  
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 A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too." 
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 The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Take a Break From Your Computer Avoid sitting in front of your computer for more than 30 minutes at a time. If you find you lose track of time, set a timer to go off in 30 minutes. Then get up, stretch, and walk around a bit before sitting back down. It also helps ease eye strain if you periodically look at distant objects. Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
The Shirk Report 
 ___________________________________________________ Boudreaux and Pierre decided to go to the casino. Boudreaux told Pierre as they entered, "All right Pierre, we'll meet here in an hour, OK?" "OK, man," said Pierre. Well, when they were done, Boudreaux was broke, but Pierre had a bucket full of quarters. "Man, were you got all 'em quarters?" asked Boudreaux. Pierre, leaning close, whispered, "Man, I don't wann say this too loud, but you see that game over there, every time I put in a dollar, it give me four quarters!"' ___________________________________________________ I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "Ah," he sighed, "that must be her checking out now." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, after he finished fixing the plumbing in the bar, he and his apprentices parked their pickup trucks in front of her house and left them there all night. ___________________________________________________  
 Today April 20 in 1534 Jacques Cartier, a French explorer, set sail from St. Malo to explore the North American coastline. 1653 In England, Oliver Cromwell expelled the Long Parliament for trying to pass the Perpetuation Bill that would have kept Parliament in the hands of only a few members. 1689 The siege of Londonderry began. Supporters of James II attacked the city. 1769 Ottawa Chief Pontiac was murdered by an Illinois Indian in Cahokia. 1775 American troops began the siege of British-held Boston. 1792 France declared war on Austria, Prussia, and Sardinia. It was the start of the French Revolutionary wars. 1809 Napoleon defeated Austria at Battle of Abensberg, Bavaria. 1832 Hot Springs National Park was intially created by an act of the U.S. Congress. It was the first time a piece of land was set aside by the U.S. government to preserve the area for recreation. The area was made a national park on March 4, 1921. 1837 Erastus B. Bigelow was granted a patent for his power loom. 1861 Robert E. Lee resigned from U.S. Army. 1865 Safety matches were first advertised. 1879 First mobile home (horse drawn) was used in a journey from London to Cyprus. 1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the radioactive element radium. 1916 Sir Roger Casement landed in Ireland to incite rebellion against the British. Casement, a British diplomat, was captured within hours and was hanged for high treason on August 3. 1919 The Polish Army captured Vilno, Lithuania from the Soviets. 1940 The First electron microscope was demonstrated by RCA. 1942 Pierre Laval, the premier of Vichy France, in a radio broadcast, establishes a policy of "true reconciliation with Germany." 1945 At the end of World War II Soviet troops began their attack on Berlin. 1945 At the end of World War II, Allied forces took control of the German cities of Nuremberg and Stuttgart. 1953 Operation Little Switch began in Korea. It was the exchange of sick and wounded prisoners of war. Thirty Americans were freed. 1953 The Boston marathon was won by Keizo Yamada with a record time of 2:18:51. 1962 The New Orleans Citizens' Council offered a free one-way ride for blacks to move to northern states. 1967 U.S. planes bombed Haiphong for first time during the Vietnam War. 1971 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the use of busing to achieve racial desegregation in schools. 1972 The manned lunar module from Apollo 16 landed on the moon. 1981 A spokesman for the U.S. Navy announced that the U.S. was accepting full responsibility for the sinking of the Nissho Maru on April 9. 1984 Britain announced that its administration of Hong Kong would cease in 1997. 1985 In Madrid, Santiago Carillo was purged from the Communist Party. Carillo was a founder of Eurocommunism. 1987 In Argentina, President Raul Alfonsin quelled a military revolt. 1988 The U.S. Air Forces' Stealth (B-2 bomber) was officially unveiled. 1989 Scientist announced the successful testing of high- definition TV. 1991 Mikhail Gorbachev became the first Soviet head of state to visit South Korea. 1992 The worlds largest fair, Expo '92, opened in Seville, Spain. 1998 Kenyan runner Moses Tanui, 32, won the Boston Marathon for the second time. He also registered the third fastest time with 2 hours 7 minutes and 34 seconds. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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