Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and is available in regular HTML and large font HTML for vision impaired readers. The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a server that has a Listed Sender ID, proper SPF record, and matching forward and reverse DNS. It has an approved privacy policy and full contact information. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is strictly Double Opt-In and is not on any blacklist. No advertising mails are sent from this address or IP number. If you are not receiving your subscription, click here.
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  Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, Oct 16 __________________________________________________ History: Today in 1962, U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. ____________________________________________________ Q The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. --- Bill Murray (1950 - ) Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men. --- Socratex ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ BONEHEAD AWARD First person convicted of fentanyl-related murder in California sentenced to 15 years to life __________________________________________________________ The teenaged girl discovered she was pregnant. She moaned to a friend, "I knew we should have just gone to the movies." The friend asked, "Well, why didn't you?" "We couldn't." she replied. "The only good ones playing were R-rated, and they wouldn't allow us in." ________________________________________________________   Icefields Parkway, Alberta Canada _______________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ A sailor on leave was paying his bill at a fashionable hotel. Looking at the girl cashier who was taking his money, he asked what she had around her neck. "A necklace of course. Why did you ask?" "Well," said the sailor, "everything is so high around here I thought it might be your garter." __________________________________________________   Larry K Scriba Shot this beauty near Grande Prairie, Alberta this morning with my Nikon D810 & 80-400 zoom. ___________________________________________________   Larry K Scriba Shot this beauty near Grande Prairie, Alberta this morning with my Nikon D810 & 80-400 zoom. _____________________________________________________ A cantor brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?" ___________________________________________________ Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Laszlo RE: 8 Gadget Pack for W10 Dear Webby I might have a "more cheerful" answer to today's analog clock problem. I am using W10, I am not so resentful of it as you are, I missed it too, so I downloaded 8gadget pack for W10 and the analog clock is one of their gadgets. https://8gadgetpack.net/ Luckily, it has been working fine for a few months now, it decorates the top right hand corner of my screen. You might like to let Herb know. Thank you for all the humour you send us daily! All the best, Laszlo from Budapest  Dear Laszlo WOW! I am VERY impressed! Thank you very much! The installation took a while, because W10 is so slow, but when the installation was done, the analog clock was on the top right, and a handy side bar was installed. I will most definitely recommend that 8gadgetpack! Thank you very much! Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra Hundred. Bye." ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Ten ways to realize your Internet connection is a little slow Text on Web pages display as Morse Code and... Graphics arrive via FedEx. You believe a heavier string might improve your throughput You post a message to your favorite Newsgroup and it displays a week later. Your credit card expires while ordering pizza on-line. Playboy web site exhibits "Playmate of the year"... for 1989. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "Ping Pong". Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump. You receive e-mails with stamps on them. You click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out. ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Nathaniel Cabacungan, 22, Placer County, California, USA  First person convicted of fentanyl-related murder in California sentenced to 15 years to life  22-year-old Nathaniel Cabacungan will serve the next 15 years in state prison after he was convicted of fentanyl-related murder earlier this year. Cabacungan was convicted of second-degree murder, among other charges, for the fentanyl death of a 15-year-old Roseville girl, Jewels Wolf, in June of 2022. On Tuesday he was given an "indeterminate sentence of 15 years to life" which means he must spend at least 15 years in prison before he is eligible for parole. His conviction for fentanyl-related murder was the first of its kind in the state. The arrest was made after an investigation by the Placer Special Investigations Unit, a collaborative effort by the California Department of Justice, Placer County Sheriffs Office, Roseville Police Department, Rocklin Police Department, Auburn Police Department, the Placer County Probation Department, and the Placer County District Attorney's Office. California Attorney General Rob Bonta was also at the press conference with Wolfs family after the sentencing. ________________________________________________ >From Rosa My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn't have batteries. He stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn't attract the attention of the clerk. I waited for a little while then said "I'll get a clerk over here real fast." With that, I pulled out my pocket tape measure and started measuring a large TV set. Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of furniture to reach my side in jig time. To his "may I help you?" I said - "Of course. I'll take 8 of those batteries over there." _________________________________________________ History On Oct 16, in 1701, The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. The school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name to Yale College. 1793, During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette was beheaded after being convicted of treason. 1829, In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and included four meals. 1859, Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA (now located in West Virginia). 1869, A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install indoor plumbing. 1916, Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in New York City, NY. 1923, Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of the Disney Company. 1928, Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric light bulb. 1941, The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 1943, Chicago's new subway system was officially opened with a ribbon cutting ceremony. 1944, "The Robe," by Lloyd Douglas, was published for the first time. 1945, "His Honor the Barber" debuted on NBC Radio. 1955, Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using the name Ann Landers. 1962, U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 1964, China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's fifth nuclear power. 1967, NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 1970, Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed Gamal Abdel Nassar. 1973, Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 1978, Poland's Karol Josef Wojtyla was elected Pope John Paul II. 1982, China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic missile from a submarine. 1987, Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well that she had fallen into in Midland, TX. She was trapped for 58 hours. 1989, U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut by $16.1 billion. 1990, Comedian Steve Martin and his wife Victoria Tennant visited U.S. soldiers in Saudi Arabia. 1993, The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S. warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure on the controlling military leaders. 1994, German Chancellor Helmut Kohl was re-elected to a fourth term. 1995, The "Million Man March" took place in Washington, DC. 1997, Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that they would give $1 million toward the construction of a D-Day memorial to be placed in Virginia. 2000, It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world. 2002, It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 1994 agreement with the U.S. 2002, The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal investigation of the energy company Enron. 2008, The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television episodes sold. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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