Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 19 Today's Bonehead Award: ______________________________________________________ Today, January 19 in 1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. --- Rita Mae Brown ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Barb As my five-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS." When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered 'no.' "Then why are you checking it out?" "Because," said the little boy confidently, "I just started collecting moths last month!" ______________________________________________________ Satchari National Park, located in far eastern Bangladesh Photo by Abdul Momin _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Laura Ulin, 40, Cape Coral, Florida Florida Woman Pulled Gun on Salon Because It Was Past Her Appointment Time A Southwest Florida woman found herself behind bars after police say she pulled out a gun and threatened another person because it was past her appointment time at a local hair salon. Laura Ulin was arrested Monday afternoon after the incident at the Hair Cuttery in Cape Coral, with the 40-year-old being charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill and carrying a concealed weapon without a license. According to NBC affiliate WBBH-TV, Ulin when into the location upset and swearing because it was past her scheduled time and claimed stylists were not working. When a customer got up in an attempt to calm her down, Ulin pulled a gun out of her purse and pointed it at the customer's stomach before leaving. Ulin was arrested at her home several hours later and was released on $35,000 bond. Her next court appearance is scheduled for February 11th. From: Robert Re: What is the advantage of PayPal Dear DearWebby, What is the advantage of having Pay Pal and how do I get it if I were interested Please help!! Thank you, Robert. Dear Robert PayPal is like a 2-way debit card. You can receive money just as easily as spending money. For example, if you find that you have more stuff to get rid off from the spring cleaning than you have garbage bag allowance, you sell some of the stuff on eBay. Somebody is bound to want that stuff. They pay you via PayPal and stock up your PayPal account. When you buy something over the net, for example web hosting, you use your PayPal account to pay for it. If you buy something major, you can stock your account by dragging funds from your bank account onto it. The same also works when you have too much in the PayPal account and not enough in your checking account. You simply drag some money from PayPal to your bank account. You can view and print your PayPal account any time you want, without statement fees like your bank charges. It works quite well and I have never had a problem with PayPal. 99.5% of Webby clients pay with PayPal and appreciate the convenience. To get an account, just go to http://paypal.com By the way, if a company does not accept PayPal, then watch out. PayPal does not block companies or people for no reason. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. On a balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship spied smoke coming from one of three huts on an island they thought was deserted. Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a "survivor." He said, "I'm so glad you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than three years!" The captain of the ship replied, "But we saw THREE huts." The survivor said, "Oh. Well, I live in one, and go to church in another." "What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain. "That's where I USED to go to church." If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | What Is Easter? Three cheerleaders died in an accident trying to jump the Grand Canyon. They are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is - "What is Easter"? The first cheerleader replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when we all get together, eat turkey and are thankful." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St.Peter. Then he turns to the second cheerleader, and asks her the same question - "What is Easter?" The second cheerleader replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second cheerleader, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in Heaven. He then peers over his glasses at the third cheerleader and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is?" The third cheerleader smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third cheerleader continues ... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of hockey!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Vegetable Oil on Your Snow Shovel A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | Top 100 viral videos of 2018. 30 min. 44 sec. long | ___________________________________________________ Two babies were sat in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll climb into your crib and find out." He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly. "You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?" "It's quite easy, really," replied the proud baby boy, "you've got pink booties and I've got blue ones." ___________________________________________________ Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?" "Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I had stolen." ___________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | In his Sunday sermon, the minister used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After the sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he harangued the congregation for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. All responded except one elderly gentleman in the rear. "Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "One hundred and one". "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to be one hundred and one and not have an enemy in the world." The old man teetered down the aisle, slowly turned to face the congregation, smiled and said, "I outlived every one of them bitches and a few sumbitches too!" ___________________________________________________ Today January 19 in 1419 Rouen surrendered to Henry V, completing his conquest of Normandy. 1793 King Louis XVI was tried by the French Convention, found guilty of treason and sentenced to the guillotine. 1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters and lobsters. 1883 Thomas Edison's first village electric lighting system using overhead wires began operation in Roselle, NJ. 1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon discharge tube for use in advertising signs. 1915 More than 20 people were killed when German zeppelins bombed England for the first time. The bombs were dropped on Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn. 1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds. 1942 The Japanese invaded Burma (later Myanmar). 1944 The U.S. federal government relinquished control of the nation's railroads after the settlement of a wage dispute. 1949 The salary of the President of the United States was increased from $75,000 to $100,000 with an additional $50,000 expense allowance for each year in office. 1953 Sixty-eight percent of all TV sets in the U.S. were tuned to CBS-TV, as Lucy Ricardo, of "I Love Lucy," gave birth to a baby boy. 1955 U.S. President Eisenhower allowed a filmed news conference to be used on television (and in movie newsreels) for the first time. 1957 Philadelphia comedian, Ernie Kovacs, did a half-hour TV show without saying a single word of dialogue. 1966 Indira Gandhi was elected prime minister of India. 1969 In protest against the Russian invasion of 1968, Czech student Jan Palach set himself on fire in Prague's Wenceslas Square. 1971 At the Charles Manson murder trial, the Beatles' "Helter Skelter" was played. At the scene of one of his gruesome murders, the words "helter skelter" were written on a mirror. 1977 U.S. President Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D'Aquino (the "Tokyo Rose"). 1979 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell was released on parole after serving 19 months at a federal prison in Alabama. 1981 The U.S. and Iran signed an agreement paving the way for the release of 52 Americans held hostage for more than 14 months and for arrangements to unfreeze Iranian assets and to resolve all claims against Iran. 1983 China announced that it was bannning 1983 purchases of cotton, soybeans and chemical fibers from the United States. 1993 IBM announced a loss of $4.97 billion for 1992. It was the largest single-year loss in U.S. corporate history. 1995 Russian forces overwhelmed the resistance forces in Chechnya. 1996 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was subpoenaed to appear before a federal grand jury. The investigation was concerning the discovery of billing records related to the Whitewater real estate investment venture. 1997 Yasser Arafat returned to Hebron for the first time in more than 30 years. He joined 60,000 Palestinians in celebration over the handover of the last West Bank city in Israeli control. 2001 Texas officials demoted a warden and suspended three other prison workers in the wake of the escape of the "Texas 7." 2006 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched. The mission was the first to investigate Pluto. 2013 In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV series "Batman" sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was the first of six Batmobiles produced for the show. 2018 Do smiled. |
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