Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, December 1 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Broker Who Faked Death, to Pay $1 Million Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 1 in 1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that ushered in the era of mass production. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. -- Jane Wagner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Charlie Hooks for this one: Your Cambridge story reminded me of the young Oxford scholar who, when Jowett was master of Balliol, went in to tell the great man he could not attend Chapel. "And why not? " "I'm a sun-worshipper, Sir!" "Umm. I see. Very well..." Next morning at 5:30 AM he is awakened by his servant: "The Master's compliments, Sir...the sun has just risen." ______________________________________________________ Kim was telling her friend how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog." ______________________________________________________ "I have to tell the truth," a young man said to his new girlfriend. "While we've been dating, I've been secretly seeing a psychiatrist." "Don't worry about it," the girl told her boyfriend. "I've been secretly seeing a lawyer and a car salesman." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Winsor Ohrn, 46, Boca Raton, Floriduh Florida Broker Who Faked Death, to Pay $1 Million Richard Winsor Ohrn, the Florida broker who faked his own death and cost the Coast Guard almost $400,000 in pointless search and rescue missions, won't go to jail, a federal judge said Tuesday. Ohrn, 46, of Boca Raton, will have to pay the government $1 million in restitution, however, for his guilty plea to a single felony count of communicating false distress to the Coast Guard, Judge Robin L. Rosenberg ordered in U.S. District Court in Miami. The Coast Guard devoted massive resources to trying to find Ohrn after he was reported missing in March 2015. It launched more than 20 search missions only to discover that Ohrn had slipped away to a rental home in Albany, Georgia, before returning home to Boca Raton. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said Ohrn admitted having faked his disappearance to skip out on legal issues related to accusations that he stole $15,250 from two elderly clients while working as a financial adviser with Chase Bank, among other allegations. The charge Ohrn copped to usually carries a sentence of up to six years in federal prison, but court documents show that federal prosecutors and the defense agreed on one year's probation for his caper plus the $1 million to recover the government's costs. Regulatory records show that Ohrn had a decidedly checkered career in the financial services industry, beginning with his "termination" by Wells Fargo Advisors LLC in August 2012 over allegations that he provided inconsistent explanations about a cashier's check that was issued to a customer. He apparently then went to work for Chase, but in December 2014, he was accused of swindling two elderly customers of $15,250. According to records on file with the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, or FINRA, Ohrn was accused of improperly withdrawing the money from the clients' accounts, forging the signatures of several of his co-workers and falsifying records by changing clients' account addresses to his own office address. FINRA records show that in June 2015 two months after he returned from the dead Ohrn agreed to a settlement barring him from association with any regulated brokerage. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits >From Dani RE: Alarm for Windows Dear Webby, Could you please recommend a good timer with alarms for the computer? I am running Windows 7. Thank you as always for your expertise. Dani Dear Dani I use ALARM.exe from BlueFive http://bluefive.pair.com/alarm.htm It is rock solid and works even when a screen saver is running. I have used it since the late 90's and it has never let me down. Have FUN! DearWebby Larry went to a strip mall the other day. He sure was disappointed. Everybody else ws dressed. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Taco Surprise By Vickie [28 Posts, 1 Comment] Taco Surprise By Vickie [28 Posts, 1 Comment] A nutritious taco skillet recipe for a quick dinner for three. Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 15 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes Yield: 3 servings Source: My own Ingredients: 1 can (13 oz) chunk chicken breast 1 1/2 cup fresh spinach, stems removed 1 packet mild taco seasoning 3/4 cup water 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated 3 taco shells Steps: Drain can of chicken breast, and empty chicken into a big skillet. Using a spatula, break up the chunks of chicken into shredded chicken form. Add water and taco packet. Cook over medium heat for five minutes. Add spinach. Cook for another five minutes or until spinach is wilted. Toast taco shells in preheated 375 degree F oven for 3 to 4 minutes. Break up taco shells into little to medium size pieces. Add cheese and broken up taco shells to chicken mixture. Stir to melt cheese and mix in taco shells. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to World Traveller Anita, some funny signs: Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. ____________________________________________________ | | Emily sculpts dragons, guardians of the forest. |
A sweet young lady who had just been shopping is pulled over by a traffic cop and given a ticket for speeding. Rather than fight the ticket, the woman writes a check for the amount of the fine and puts it in the mail. However, the young woman is worried. Her husband always examines her checkbook carefully, and she doesn't want him to know about the incident. Then inspiration strikes, and she scribbles on the check stub: "One pullover, $125." Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on December 1 1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy tales. 1909 The Pennsylvania Trust Company, of Carlisle, PA, became the first bank in the in the U.S. to offer a Christmas Club account. 1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that ushered in the era of mass production. 1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened, in Pittsburgh, PA. 1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between World War I protagonists. 1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters. 1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 1943 the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction of the Army Air Forces. 1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect. 1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful sex-change operation had been performed. 1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused to give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested marking a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S. 1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would be free from military activity. 1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began. 1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since World War II. 1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti- flame fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan said he would welcome an investigation of the Iran-Contra affair if it were recommended by the Justice Department. 1987 Construction began on the Channel Tunnel between the United Kingdom and France. 1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts to help build a space station. The companies were Boeing Aerospace, G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas Aeronautics, and Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International. 1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an unsuccessful coup against Corazon Aquino's government. 1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's constitutional guarantee of supremacy. 1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving the Persian Gulf crisis. 1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel finally met under the English Channel. 1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from the Soviet Union. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress. 1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the 124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion creating the largest company in the world to date. 2013 Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos revealed "Amazon Prime Air" on "60 Minutes." The service was planned to use unmanned aerial vehicles to deliver packages to customers. 2016 Do smiled. |
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