Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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  Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, Oct 13 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  __________________________________________________ History 1992, A commercial flight record was set by an Air France supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one minute. ____________________________________________________ Q For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. --- Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005) My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. --- Mike Myers ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award x-CT worker charged in Bristol police station shooting says she used ex-NYPD cop's gun __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ A couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him." __________________________________________________________ "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." --Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982. ________________________________________________________   Saguaro National Park- Arizona USA Been there many times _______________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ "I fall in love really quickly and this scares guys away. I'm like, 'I'm in love with you, I want to marry you, I want to move in with you!' And they're like, 'Ma'am, just give me the ten bucks for the pizza and I'm outta here.'" --Penny Wiggins __________________________________________________   Buck in Canola Barb O'Brien Dauncey Hands up buck! Found 3 bucks in a canola field south of Calgary yesterday but this guy was the most curious of me. I thought his antlers looked a little different when I was taking my pics, but once I downloaded them,I think they look like someones hands in the air..... too funny. South of Calgary, July 27 ___________________________________________________ A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee." _________________________________________  From: Rosie RE: Windoze hot-Keys Dear Webby, I know you have occasionally shown us SOME of the Windoze hot keys. Whereare the rest of them? Rosie  Dear Rosie They are right here: Exam is next Wednesday. Windows keyboard shortcuts Alt+Tab Switch between open applications in all versions of Windows. Reverse the direction by pressing Alt+Shift+Tab at the same time. Ctrl+Tab Switches between program groups, tabs, or document windows in applications that support this feature. Reverse the direction by pressing Ctrl+Shift+Tab at the same time. Alt+double-click In Windows 95 or later, display the properties of the object you double-click. For example, doing this on a file would display its properties. Alt+Print Screen Create a screenshot only for the active program window in all versions of Windows. For example, if you opened the calculator and pressed these shortcut keys, only the calculator window would be created as a screenshot. If the Print Screen key is pressed alone, the whole screen will be made into a screenshot. Ctrl+Alt+Del Open the Windows option screen for locking computer, switching user, Task Manager, etc. in later versions of Windows. Pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del multiple times reboots the computer. Ctrl+Shift+Esc Immediately bring up the Windows Task Manager in Windows 2000 and later. Ctrl+Esc Open the Windows Start menu in most versions of Windows. In Windows 8, this opens the Start screen and in Windows 3.x, this opens the Task Manager. Alt+Esc Switch between open applications on Taskbar in Windows 95 and later. Alt+Spacebar Drops down the window control menu for the currently open Windows program in Windows 95 and later. NOTE: If you use LAUNCHY, then ALT + Spacebar brings up Launchy, ready to launch any of your programs, or to act as a calculator with a progress ribbon, that shows you what numbers you have typo-ed before. Personally, I much prefer Launchy. Alt+Enter Opens properties window of selected icon or program in Windows 95 and later. Shift+Del Permanently delete any file or another object without throwing it into the Recycle Bin in Windows 95 and later. Hold down the Shift key When putting in an audio or data CD that uses Autoplay, holding down the Shift key prevents that CD from playing. Windows function key shortcuts Below is a listing of keyboard shortcuts that use the keyboard function keys. See our what are F1 through F12 keys page for a full listing of what function keys do with all other programs. What are the F1 through F12 keys? F1 Activates help for current open application. If you're at the Windows desktop, this activates the help for Windows. F2 Renames a highlighted icon, file, or folder in all versions of Windows. F3 Starts find or search when at the Windows desktop in all versions of Windows. F4 In Windows 95 and later, F4 opens the drive selection or address bar when browsing files in Windows Explorer. Alt+F4 closes the current open program window without a prompt in all versions of Windows. Pressing Ctrl+F4 closes the open window in the current active window in Microsoft Windows. Only works in programs that support multiple windows or tabs in the same program window. F6 While in Windows Explorer, F6 moves the cursor to different Windows Explorer pane or in Windows 7 browse available drives. F8 Pressing F8 over and over as the computer is booting starts the computer in Safe Mode. F10 Activates the file menu bar in SOME versions of Windows. Simulates a right-click on selected item, which is useful if right-click is difficult or impossible using the mouse. Windows keyboard key shortcuts Below is a listing of Windows keys that can be used on computers running Microsoft Windows 95 or later and using a keyboard with a Windows key. In the below list of shortcuts, the Windows key is represented by "WINKEY." Because not all these shortcuts work in every version of Windows, we've mentioned which versions of Windows support each shortcut key combination. All versions of Windows. Windows XP. Windows 7 and 8. Windows 8. Windows 10. All versions of Windows WINKEY Pressing the Windows key alone opens or hides the Windows Start menu. In Windows 8, this opens or hides the Start screen. WINKEY+F1 Open the Microsoft Windows help and support center. WINKEY+Pause / Break key Open the System Properties window. WINKEY+D Display and hide the Windows desktop. WINKEY+E Open Microsoft Windows Explorer. WINKEY+F Display the Windows Search or Find feature. WINKEY+Ctrl+F Display the search for computers window. WINKEY+L Lock the computer and switch users if needed (Windows XP and above only). WINKEY+M Minimizes all windows. WINKEY+Shift+M Undo the minimize done by WINKEY+M and WINKEY+D. WINKEY+R Open the run window. WINKEY+U Open Utility Manager or the Ease of Access Center. Windows XP WINKEY+Tab Cycle through open programs on the Taskbar. Windows 7 and 8 WINKEY+1-0 Pressing the Windows key and any top row number key from 1 to 0 opens the program corresponding to the number of the program icon on the Taskbar. For example, if the first icon on the Taskbar is Internet Explorer, pressing WINKEY+1 would open that program or switch to it if already open. WINKEY+(Plus (+) or Minus (-)) Open Windows Magnifier and zoom in with the plus symbol (+) and zoom out with the minus symbol (-). WINKEY+ESC close the Magnifier. WINKEY+Home Minimize all windows except the active window. WINKEY+P Change between the monitor and projection display types or how second screen displays computer screen. WINKEY+T Set the focus on the Taskbar icons. WINKEY+Left arrow Shrinks the window to 1/2 screen on the left side for side by side viewing. WINKEY+Right arrow Shrinks the window to 1/2 screen on the right side for side by side viewing. WINKEY+Up arrow When in the side by side viewing mode, this shortcut takes the screen back to full size. WINKEY+Down arrow Minimizes the screen. Also, when in the side by side viewing mode, this shortcut takes the screen back to a minimized size. Windows 8 WINKEY+, Peek at the Windows desktop. WINKEY+. Snap a Windows App to the sides of the screen. Pressing it multiple times will switch between the right and left side of the screen or unsnap the app. WINKEY+Enter Open Windows Narrator. WINKEY+C Open the Charms. WINKEY+G Cycle through desktop gadgets. WINKEY+H Open Share in Charms. WINKEY+I Open the Settings in Charms. WINKEY+J Switch between snapped apps. WINKEY+K Open Devices in Charms. WINKEY+O Lock the screen orientation. WINKEY+X Open the Power User Menu, which gives you access to many of the features most power users would want to use such as Device Manager, Control Panel, Event Viewer, Command Prompt, and much more. Windows 10 WINKEY+, Peek at the Windows desktop. WINKEY+A Open the Windows 10 Action Center. WINKEY+G Open the Game bar. Only works if a game is running. WINKEY+I Open the Windows 10 Settings window. WINKEY+S Open the Windows Search utility. WINKEY+X Open the Power User Menu, which gives you access to many of the features most power users would want to use such as Device Manager, Control Panel, Event Viewer, Command Prompt, and much more. You can highlight this section, hit CTRL C to copy it, jump to NoteTab or WordPad, CTRL V to paste it, then delete out the keys, that you will never need, and just memorize the rest for the exaam next Wednesday. By the way, WINKEY does not mean winking at me. That is the key with the Windows flag on it between CTRL and ALT. However, you definitely CAN wink at me every time you use the WINKEY key. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate." Tommy says to her, "That word is too big. I don't know what it means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband." ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ It was the morning after the consummation of the marriage of two senior citizens. The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her husband running water in the bathroom, she said, "Did you just brush your teeth?" The husband answered, "Yes, dear. And while I was at it, I brushed yours too." ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Suzanne Laprise, Plainville, Connecticut, USA  x-CT worker charged in Bristol police station shooting says she used ex-NYPD cop's gun  With a son who has Down syndrome and a daughter in legal trouble, Suzanne Laprise felt trapped, she told someone she met at a local bar before she drove down the street to the police station and opened fire, according to a police report about last week's incident. Laprise said she would carry out the shooting with a gun belonging to her boyfriend a retired New York Police Department officer, Hearst Connecticut Media Group has confirmed. Thanks to the police station's bulletproof glass and use of a less-than-lethal weapon to subdue her, the report said, the incident was resolved without anyone seriously injured during her apparent suicide attempt Thursday night. The state Inspector General's Office, which investigates all police- involved shootings, on Tuesday released videos of the incident. Earlier in the evening, Laprise, a former employee of the state Department of Developmental Services, told a fellow bar patron what she planned to do, the report said. She chatted with a woman who was smoking a cigarette outside the Bristol Sports Bar and Grille, 369 N. Main St. At first, they talked about hairstyles, but the conversation suddenly grew dark, the witness told police, according to the report. Out of the blue, Laprise started to talk about how she has a disabled son and she feels trapped, the witness told police. The witness said she didn't know Laprise's name. She told police Laprise also talked about how her daughter has been in jail, according to the report. Laprise seemed very depressed at this point, the woman told police, according to the report. She talked to Laprise about getting help, and told her to take one day at a time. Laprise told the woman her boyfriend is a NYPD officer, the report stated. However, an NYPD spokesperson told Hearst Connecticut Media the man retired in 2012. Laprise told the woman she had taken her boyfriend's gun, which she said lacks a safety to prevent an accidental shooting, the report said. She tapped the side of her purse and told the witness the gun was right here, although the woman never saw the weapon, the report stated. The witness told investigators that Laprise also said, Im going to go to the Bristol Police Department and tell them to kill me or I will shoot them, according to the report. The other woman didnt believe Laprise, the report said. Still, she talked to her again about seeking mental health treatment. She suggested Laprise go home and sleep on it and see how things were the next day, and Laprise agreed, the report said. But when Laprise got into her car, she drove toward the police department down the block at 131 N. Main St. Another patron said Laprise stopped in front of the police station, the report said. The bars owner called police, but it was too late. Laprise parked awkwardly on a raised divider next to the sidewalk, got out, stumbled, fell and got back up, the report said. She walked into the police station and paced around the lobby, gun in hand, and slapped her hand, and the gun, against the windows at the front desk, where no one was sitting, and the Records Division, which was closed for the day, the report said. ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ History On Oct 13, in 1775, The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet. 1792, The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House in 1818. 1812, American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended any further U.S. invasion of Canada. 1843, B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 1854, The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 1943, During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 1944, American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 1944, During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed at Piraeus. 1951, In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25- 7. 1953, An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 1957, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on an hour long special. 1981, Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 1989, U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 1992, A commercial flight record was set by an Air France supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one minute. 1995, Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. 1999, The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 2010, Near Copiap, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in San Jos Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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