Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 8 Thank you, Thomas !!!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 8, in 1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her father, George VI, had died on February 6. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 227,000 fentanyl pills found in buffet-style food ___________________________________________________ There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) But AOC and Pocahontas sure are trying! You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough. --- Socratex ___________________________________________________ Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers." Mine did not stop there, but swelled up my feet, from size 9 to size 12. ___________________________________________________ A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" The witness replied meekly, "Most women do, and I know MY mother did." ____________________________________________________   Aayana Aayat This red cedar grows along the trail to the Cheewhat Giant (Canada's largest tree) in the Pacific Rim National Park Reserve on Vancouver Island. ____________________________________________________ Teacher: Max, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence. Max: The rabbit ran across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  no mug Kevin Saldivar Sosa, 26, Casa Grande, Arizona, USA  227,000 fentanyl pills found in buffet-style food  Drug smugglers tried to use buffet-style food to move hundreds of thousands of fentanyl pills in Pinal County on Wednesday but were stopped by deputies. It happened near Casa Grande. The Pinal County Sheriffs Office said deputies pulled over a driver heading west on Interstate 10 around 4:15 p.m. They noted the drivers story wasnt adding up and searched the car. Deputies found four large buffet-style pans filled with food, and one of the deputies noticed something was off. He picked up one of the trays and noticed it was heavier than normal, said Pinal County Sheriff Mark Lamb. He scraped some of the food back and found bags and bags of fentanyl pills. Deputies seized about 227,000 pills. Thats more than what we recovered in all of 2020, Sheriff Lamb said. The driver, 26-year-old Kevin Saldivar Sosa, was arrested and booked into the Pinal County jail.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Mark Re: GoFundme Alternatives Dear Webby As a Canuck I am sure you are more than furious about Gofundme stealing $10 Million from the Truckers Freedom convoy. Do you have a link to reliable fund raisning sites? Thanks Mark  Dear Mark Top is GiveSendGo Here are the top 16 alternatives: https://blog.fundly.com/gofundme-alternatives/ Unlike with GoFundme you do NOT have to do any looting, burning, robbing or raping with these 17. You don't even have to be a Communist or Socialist! And the color of your skin or your wife's cat is not relevant either.  The Freedom Convoy recommends GiveSendGo  The Freedom Convoy is raising Thousands of dollars for fuel, coffee and Donuts PER MINUTE through GiveSendGo.  Donate to the Freedom Convoy  Have FUN! DearWebby 
 A number of new Air-Force recruits were being taken on their first training flight. The plane had just leveled out after taking off when one of the engines seized up, and another began smoking badly. Adjusting his parachute, the instructor strove for nonchalance as he made his way to the hatch door. "Now I want you men to keep perfectly calm," he said, "while I go for help." 
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 _____________________________________________  Joe: I see you've lost weight since you started your new job. Did your boss put you on a diet?" Amy: No, she put me on commission. ______________________________________________ The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!" ___________________________________________________  
 Today, February 8, in 1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 1861 The Confederate States of America was formed. 1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking Russian forces in Manchuria. 1918 During World War I, "The Stars and Stripes" was published under orders from General John J. Pershing for the United States Army forces in France. It was published from February 8, 1918 to June 13, 1919. 1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President Harding had it installed. 1927 The original version of "Getting Gertie's Garter" opened at the Hippodrome Theatre in New York City. 1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her father, George VI, had died on February 6. 1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba and made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba illegal for U.S. citizens. 1963 Lamar Hunt, owner of the American Football League franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas City. The new team was named the Chiefs. 1971 The Nasdaq stock-market index debuted. 1973 U.S. Senate leaders named seven Democrat members of a select committee to investigate the Watergate scandal. 1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned to Earth after 84 days. 1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio for the first time. The subject was the Panama Canal treaties. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re- introduce draft registration. 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. ;-( 1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes. The suit was settled the following day by NBC. 2021 Do smiled. 

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