Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 28 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Illinois Man Arrested After Traveling to Meet a Minor for sex in Kendall County ____________________________________________________ Today, December 28, in 1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when a new constitution established the country as a sovereign state under the name of Eire. ____________________________________________________ Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you! --- Tommy Smothers It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ____________________________________________________ There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked. The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'" ____________________________________________________   Northern Saw-whet Owl in Calgary. Dec 25th, 2021 ____________________________________________________ A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Ryan Pearce, 27, St Charles, Illinois, USA  St. Charles Man Arrested After Traveling to Meet a Minor for sex in Kendall County  A St. Charles man was arrested Wednesday after allegedly traveling to Kendall County to meet a sixteen-year-old for sex. Kendall County authorities arrested 27-year-old Ryan Pearce at a meeting place in unincorporated Kendall County without incident. Police began an investigation on November 30 after they were called to a home in Na Au Say Township for a report that Pearce was sending inappropriate images to a sixteen-year-old juvenile acquaintance. On Wednesday, police conducted an operation that led to Pearce's arrest after he allegedly requested to meet the sixteen-year-old for sex. Pearce is charged with traveling to meet a minor, indecent solicitation of a child, and grooming, which are all felonies. He was also charged with misdemeanor sexual exploitation of a minor and distributing harmful material to a minor. Pearce is being held at the Kendall County Jail is expected to appear before a judge for a bond hearing Friday.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: John Re: Answering scammers Dear Webby Have you ever considered answering the scammers and telling them what you think of them? John  Dear John I used to, in the 90s. Got a letter today from Bill. He apparently acted like he was going to hand delliver the money, but claimed he axxxigently went to the wrong airport, then on the next try axxxigently went on the wrong day, and kept giving the scammer the run-around until the scammer gave up. If you have lots of time, you can definitely do that too. For those, who want you to call a 1-800 number, I used to fax my list of cusswords to their voice number, set to repeat 100 times. Inagine the fax howl repeating endlessly, filling up their answering machine! For the list of cuss words I offered a $10 prize to 3 teenagers, for coming up with the biggest list of evil cuss words. Then, go to the Dialectizer Pick a dialect, like Redneck, or Swedish Chef, or Elmer Fudd, and paste your list. Use AUDACITY or any free recorder to record what the Redneck reads. Expect to be knocked off your chair! Save the recording as MP4 and make a shortcut to it on your desktop. Whenever you hit that shortcut, put the phone next to a speaker and let the Redneck or Elmer Fudd cuss out the telemarketer or scammer. Elmer Fudd reading 100 vile cusswords will really slay you! You can, of course make recordings of any of the dialects, even fake one yourself. I notice that "Newfie" is not listed yet. Go for it! In the mid 90s I got Mailwasher, and just made filters to dump that kind of stuff automatically, unseen. It does not even show in the list. I CAN, if I am interested, open the pie chart, that shows me which filter has nuked the most. With MailWasher YOU win! Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Years ago in a small country store I saw an elderly woman asking to buy three pounds of lard and have it put into an empty pail she was carrying. The son of the owner was minding the store while the father had gone to lunch. He stated "Ma'am, your pail will only hold two pounds." She looked at him as if he were simple minded and said "Where is your daddy? He has been putting three pounds of lard in this pail for the last fifteen years!!!!" 
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 _____________________________________________  Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers." Cashier reply's: "That'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!" ______________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither, Her grandfther is bald." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Male or female nouns: HOURGLASS -- female, WHY ? because the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMER -- male, WHY ? because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around and it's good for killing bugs. HOT AIR BALLOON: female, WHY ? because to get it ready to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, the preparations often take longer than the trip, and of course, there's the hot air part. TIRE -- male, WHY ? because it goes bald and often is over-inflated. SPONGES -- female, WHY ? because they are soft and squeezable and retain water. Dim Swimmer -- female WHY ? because he says so I am sure you can make up a lot more ! If you send them to me, I will print the best ones. ___________________________________________________  
 Today, December 28, in 1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor. 1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of joint rule with her husband, King William III. 1732 "The Pennsylvania Gazette," owned by Benjamin Franklin, ran an ad for the first issue of "Poor Richard�s Almanack." 1832 John C. Calhoun became the first vice president of the United States to resign, stepping down over differences with President Jackson. 1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an acceptable chewing gum. 1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-rolling mill, which boosted production by 70%. 1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the Tay Bridge collapsed as a train was passing over it. 75 people were killed. 1895 In Paris, the first commercial public screening of cinematographic films took place. 1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily. 1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used on the streets of San Francisco, CA. 1917 The New York Evening Mail published a facetious essay by H.L. Mencken on the history of bathtubs in America. 1926 The highest recorded cricket innings score of 1,107 runs was hit by Victoria, against New South Wales, in Melbourne. 1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when a new constitution established the country as a sovereign state under the name of Eire. 1942 R.O. Sullivan crossed the Atlantic Ocean for the 100th time. 1945 The U.S. Congress officially recognized the "Pledge of Allegiance." 1950 The Peak District became Britain's first designated National Park. 1964 Initial filming of the movie "Dr. Zhivago" began on location near Madrid, Spain. The movies total running time is 197 minutes. 1973 The Chamber of Commerce of Akron, OH, terminated its association with the All-American Soap Box Derby. It was stated that the race had become "a victim of cheating and fraud." 1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," an expose of the Soviet prison system. 1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube baby, was born in Norfolk, VA. 1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police officer in a Miami video arcade. The event set off three days of race related disturbances that left another man dead. 1987 The bodies of 14 relatives of R. Gene Simmons were found at his home near Dover, AR. Simmons had gone on a shooting spree in Russellville that claimed two other lives. 1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the Communist Party in 1970, was elected speaker of the Czech parliament. 1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball game at City College in New York. 1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to sex-oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers. 2000 U.S. District Court Judge Matsch held a hearing to ensure that confessed Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh understood that he was dropping his appeals. McVeigh said that he wanted an execution date, set but wanted to reserve the right to seek presidential clemency. 2021 Do smiled. 

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