Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 7 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Naked Intruder Arrested After Being Found Masturbating in Sleeping Girls Bedroom  ______________________________________________________ Today, September 7 in 1812 Napoleon defeated the Russian army of Alexander I at the battle of Borodino. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof. --- Ashley Montague The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ I WAS in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ I WAS WAITING in line at my county clerk's office one afternoon and noticed a hand-lettered sign that read: "Any child left unattended will be given a free kitten and a large candy bar." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ I NEEDED a passport and I needed it quickly. Luckily, a sign in the passport office told me exactly how long I could expect to wait: "Allow 10 minutes for regular processing and 15 minutes for expedited processing." ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jonathan Emmanuel Ward, 21, Fontana, California  Naked Intruder Arrested After Being Found Masturbating in Sleeping Girls Bedroom  Police on Tuesday said they were searching for possible additional victims of a man accused of entering a Fontana home and masturbating in a 13-year-old girl's bedroom. Officers responded to the 14100 block of Stanislaus Court last Thursday after a resident called around 2:42 a.m. to report a male intruder in her home, according to a Fontana Police Department news release. The woman told police that a naked man went into her teen daughter's bedroom and started masturbating while she slept, the release stated. The victim woke up to find the man hovering over her and screamed, causing the suspect to flee, according to police. He ran from the girl's room, down the stairs and left the home. Officers arrived at the home within minutes, but the man was gone by then. However, they were able to obtain surveillance video from the residence that showed the naked man inside. At one point, he "looked directly into the camera and placed his finger over his lips as if signaling to be quiet," the release said, describing what some of the footage showed. Detectives quickly identified the suspect as 21-year-old Jonathan Emmanuel Ward of Fontana. He was arrested at his home in the 7000 block of Nebraska Street later that same day, authorities said. When detectives interviewed Ward, they identified other potential victims -- and believe there could be others who haven't contacted police yet, according to the release. Ward possibly focused on a dance studio in the Inland Empire, though they did not give the name or area where it was located. He allegedly "became infatuated with several young girls" at the studio, police said. The suspect is accused of targeting girls through social media, using photos posted to their accounts to figure out where they lived. "Ward would often enter the rear yards of the victims residence and on occasion, enter their homes when he would find an unlocked door," the release stated. He was booked into the West Valley Detention Center on suspicion of burglary, child annoyance and indecent exposure, according to inmate records. Because of a similar arrest last year in Fontana, a $1 million bail enhancement was issued. Police have scheduled a news conference for Wednesday morning where they are expected to release images and video of the suspect as they try to locate other possible victims. 
  From: Edoard Re: Lights  Dear Webby, Not a web question, Sorry! What's the story about the LED lightbulbs? I am disenchanted with the pig tail fluorescents, that were promised to last 25 years. On my porch motion detector light, they last a year, max. And in cold weather they take forever to light up. Now they promise 25 years for the LED lightbulbs. And they are almost as expensive as the pig-tail lights were initially. Same BS? Edoard  Dear Edoard The BS is the same. They are just re-using the same old propaganda, without having a clue about it. However, the good news are that the LED lights don't mind -40 at my front door, they turn on instantly when a deer or a magpie trigger the motion detector, and have been working steadily for over 2 years. One got smashed by horizontal golf ball size hail a couple of years ago, but that hail would have smashed any kind of lightbulb. If you put them into a jam-jar fixture, then they should survive horizontal hail quite nicely. So far I am quite impressed with the LED lighbulbs and use them to replace any bulb that burns out. Have FUN DearWebby  
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 SO MUCH FOR PEACE OF MIND Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?" 
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 A truck driver was having lunch at a truck stop when 8 motorcyclists came in. They ate his crackers, drank his water, etc., and he made no move to object. After he left one of the group laughed and said, "He wasn't much of a man, was he?" The waitress behind the counter, looking out the window said, "He's not much of a truck driver, either. He just ran over 8 motorcycles!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Check Around Your Home's Foundation  Check the grading around your house to make sure the ground is sloping away from your house and no plants or dirt is in contact with your siding. Inspect and patch any cracks in your foundation. Remove mildew with a solution of 1 part chlorine bleach to 3 parts water.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________    
 
Amazing Images: The Best Science Photos of the Week 
 ___________________________________________________ A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. First she asked, "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" He responded, "It goes moo." The she asked, "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" Alice replied, "It goes meow." Next she asked, "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Her response was, "It goes baa." Finally she questioned one last child, "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" She replied, "Er, it goes ... click!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Classic! This used to be an all too common service call: Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." DearWebby: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." DearWebby: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an intel inside. How do I get that one out? " ____________________________________________________  
 Today, September 7 in 1812 Napoleon defeated the Russian army of Alexander I at the battle of Borodino. 1813 The nickname "Uncle Sam" was first used as a symbolic reference to the United States. The reference appeared in an editorial in the New York's Troy Post. 1822 Brazil declared its independence from Portugal. 1880 George Ligowsky was granted a patent for his device that threw clay pigeons for trapshooters. 1888 Edith Eleanor McLean became the first baby to be placed in an incubator. 1896 A.H. Whiting won the first automobile race held on a racetrack. The race was held in Cranston, RI. 1901 China and the Eight-Nation Alliance signed the Boxer Protocol ending the Boxer Rebellion (Boxer Uprising, Yihequan Movement). 1915 Johnny Gruelle received a patent for his Raggedy Ann doll. (U.S. Patent D47789) 1921 Margaret Gorman of Washington, DC, was crowned the first Miss America in Atlantic City, NJ. 1927 Philo T. Farnsworth succeeded in transmitting an image through purely electronic means by using an image dissector. 1930 The cartoon "Blondie" made its first appearance in the comic strips. 1940 London received its initial rain of bombs from Nazi Germany during World War II. 1942 During World War II, the Russian army counter attacked the German troops outside the city of Stalingrad. 1971 "The Beverly Hillbillies" was seen for the final time on CBS-TV. 1977 The Panama Canal treaties were signed by U.S. President Carter and General Omar Torrijos Herrera. The treaties called for the U.S. to turn over control of the canal's waterway to Panama in the year 2000. 1979 ESPN, the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, made its debut on cable TV. 1983 In Ireland, voters approved a constitutional ammendment that banned abortion. 1984 American Express Co. issued the first of its Platinum charge cards. 1986 President Augusto Pinochet survived an assassination attempt made by guerrillas. 1986 Desmond Tutu was the first black to be installed to lead the Anglican Church in southern Africa. 1987 Erich Honecker became the first East German head of state to visit West Germany. 1989 Legislation was approved by the U.S. Senate that prohibited discrimination against the handicapped in employment, public accommodations, transportation and communications. 2018 Do smiled. 
 https://youtu.be/18kmeHF_WX0 
 

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