Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 1 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 1 in  1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to Panama. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Woman threatened to kill homeless man when he turned down her offer of booze and food  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down. --- Flip Wilson (1933 - 1998) _______________________________________________ Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me." ________________________________________________`   Proably get enough guns from Chicago, where guns are not allowed anyway, to equip an African country's army. ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a DARWIN Award has been earned by  Briggette Saunders, 36, Nailsea, Somerset, UK  Woman threatened to kill homeless man when he turned down her offer of booze and food  A woman has been spared jail after she pulled a knife on a homeless man who declined an offer of chips and vodka. Briggette Saunders, 36, threatened to kill Steven Higgins last August when he said he did not want the food or alcohol twice. She became aggressive and harassed Mr Higgins who pointed her out to police in Nailsea, Somerset. Saunders then lunged at him with a steak knife saying 'I'm going to kill you'. She was arrested and later admitted what she had done at Bristol Crown Court, where she was given a 10-month prison sentence suspended for a year. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Roland Re: Are long reach routers a threat?  Dear Webby Say a neighbor has one of these long reach routers, can he get into my computer? Roland  Dear Roland No, that is not how it works. If he has one of those modern long range routers, HIS router will do a handshake and communicate with HIS laptop, even when he sits down at Hooters, 3 miles away. You or anybody else trying to use his high speed connection are out of luck, because HIS router simply ignores your computer's attempt to do a handshake and log in. He is secure, because he uses the new standards, which even professionals can't break. Keep in mind that the connection is initiated by the computer, not the router. The computer reaches out to the routers in the area and initiates the first handshake. His router just sits and waits for that. If you selected your wireless router by price, then any kid can break into your network and use it. That doesn't mean, that they can or will get into your computer. Usually they just use your Internet access to download movies and games, because on their own connection they have already gone over their monthly limit. They don't use long range cards with high security in their laptops, but the cheapest they can get, to match the routers in most homes. If you see kids parked near you house and suspect, that they are using your connection, just unplug the power to your router. If they drive on to the next house, you got your proof. There are other ways too to tell if you got hitch-hikers on the LAN, but that is the easiest way to dump them. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 Arnie came into school looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. "Our chickens have been disappearing." He said. "And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o'clock, Pa got me and Ol' Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on." He went on. "Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol' Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn't expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we've been up a-cleanin' and a-pluckin' more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 9 miles to school." 
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 While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Sawdust Floor Sweeping Compound Use this recipe to help keep dust down when sweeping your basement garage or workshop. Mix 6 cups sawdust, 2 cups rock salt, and 1 1/2 cups mineral oil and put it in a jar with a lid for storage. To use, sprinkle it on your floor before sweeping. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Spectacular Bridges Across the Globe 
 ___________________________________________________ Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far." ___________________________________________________ Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet. ___________________________________________________ The generation gap proved glaringly obvious at the mail-order music company where my wife works as a customer service representative. Some college students, who were working part-time inputting customer information, wrote the following notes regarding some golden oldies: "Customer is looking for two song titles: 'Shovel Off Two Buffaloes' and 'Honey, Suck a Rose.'" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 1 1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's Queen Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots. 1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. Later the property would be purchased by the U.S. effectively doubling its size. 1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of electric lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park. 1885 Special delivery mail service began in the United States. The first routes were in West Virginia. 1890 The U.S. Congress passed the McKinley Tariff Act. The act raised tariffs on imports to a record level. 1896 Rural Free Delivery was established by the U.S. Post Office. 1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. The purchase price of the car was $850. 1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during World War I by a force made up of British and Arab forces. 1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of the Spanish state. 1938 German forces enter Czechoslovakia and seized control of the Sudetenland. The Munich Pact had been signed two days before. 1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll superhighway in the United States. 1943 Naples was captured by the Allied forces during World War II. 1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg sentenced 12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were sentenced to prison terms and 3 were acquitted. 1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's Republic of China when the communist forces had defeated the Nationalists. The Nationalist forces fled to Formosa (Taiwan). 1962 Johnny Carson began hosting the "Tonight" show on NBC-TV. He stayed with the show for 29 years. Jack Paar was the previous host. 1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University of California at Berkeley. 1968 "Night of the Living Dead" premiered in Pittsburgh, PA. 1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations with the United States. 1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to Panama. 1982 EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) Center opened in Florida. The concept was planned by Walt Disney. 1984 U.S. Labor Secretary Raymond Donovan announced that he was taking a leave of absence following his indictment on charges of larceny and fraud. He was later acquitted. 1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by Israeli jet fighters. 1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency. 1989 The authorized Charles Schulz biography, Good Grief, was published. 1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany after they were allowed to leave by the communist government. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush addressed the U.N. General Assembly and once again condemned Iraq's takeover of Kuwait. 1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy. 1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in Haiti that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide from power. U.S. economic and military aid was suspended. 1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. 1992 The Strategic Arm Reduction Treaty was approved by the U.S. Senate. 1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching a series of trade agreements. 1994 The National Hockey League (NHL) team owners began a lockout of the players that lasted 103 days. 1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants were convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the U.S. through bombings, kidnappings and assassinations. 1996 Lucent Technologies became an independent company. 1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward for the capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is accused of killing an undercover U.S. agent during a drug purchase in 1994. 1999 The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Peoples Republic of China was celebrated in Beijing. 2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away from children at city libraries. The board left the decision up to the Library Commission to decide whether to install filtering software in children's areas. A federal law in the U.S. mandated the use of the filters. 2009 In the United Arab Emirates, the exterior construction of the Burj Khalifa skyscraper was completed. 2019 Do smiled.