Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, March 12 Thank you, Claude!  

Fresno Thief cashes $12K check stolen from 103-year-old Fresno resident __________________________________________________ Q If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. --- Paul Beatty ________________________________________________ That reminds me, ... do you know the main difference between a violin and a viola ? A viola apparently burns longer. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water." ________________________________________________ A lady goes into the local sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his birthday. A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am ?" "Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers. The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes." The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter. He belts "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15." Lady - "Wow !" She finds another and does the same. "Thats an Orion 35C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20." Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one. As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady feels the gasses produced by the beans at lunch to rumble and escape, but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is. Salesman says, "That'll be $25." "TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !? YOU SAID $20?" "That's right mam, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the stinkfish bait." __________________________________________________ Davide Anzimanni/ Instagram The Collserola Park, Barcelona, Spain ________________________________________________ A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a university graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how." ________________________________________________ In a traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You're a schoolteacher, eh?" he said. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write 500 times: I drove through a red light even though I knew it is against the law.' !" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ >From Paul "Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list." >From Paul "Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list." ___________________________________________________ Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Murphy like I do, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He climbed out of the vat three times to go to the men's room." ___________________________________________________ >From Paul "Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list." >From Paul "Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Fresno Thief Fresno, California, USA Fresno Thief cashes $12K check stolen from 103-year-old Fresno resident Authorities are searching for a person who cashed a $12,000 check that was stolen from a 103-year-old Fresno resident. The Fresno County Sheriff's Office says a person cashed the victim's stolen $12,000 retirement check at a check cashing business inside a liquor store in North Fresno. The incident happened in October and was later discovered after the victim reported never receiving the check. Investigators say the employee followed the company's policy by checking the suspect's ID, which matched the information on the check. Officials say the victim should be able to get the money reimbursed since it was a state issued check, but the business won't get the cash back. The sheriff's office released a photo of the suspect, which shows tattoos on their upper right arm and chest. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Gennie Re: Online recipies DearWebby Can online reciepes be trusted? Some friends have warned that the recipes on the net are untested and just people pretending to know what hey are doing. What's the real story? Gennie Dear Gennie Go for the ones, that allow feedback from members. Those people are usually quite careful and double-check their recipes, so that they won't get flamed by their readers. Of course, you still have to use common sense. Typos can and do happen. Dear Gennie Go for the ones, that allow feedback from members. Those people are usually quite careful and double-check their recipes, so that they won't get flamed by their readers. Of course, you still have to use common sense. Typos can and do happen. Have FUN! DearWebby _________________________________________________ Today, March 12 1496, Jews were expelled from Syria. 1609, The Bermuda Islands became an English colony. 1664, New Jersey became a British colony. King Charles II granted land in the New World to his brother James (The Duke of York). 1755, In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine was used for the first time. 1789, The U.S. Post Office was established. 1809, Britain signed a treaty with Persia forcing the French to leave the country. 1857, "Simon Boccanegra" by Verdi debuted in Venice. 1884, The State of Mississippi authorized the first state- supported college for women. It was called the Mississippi Industrial Institute and College. 1863, President Jefferson Davis delivered his State of the Confederacy address. 1889, Almon B. Stowger applied for a patent for his automatic telephone system. 1894, Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time. 1903, The Czar of Russia issued a decree providing for nominal freedom of religion throughout his territory. 1905, In Rome, Premier Giovanni Giolli was forced out of office by continued civil strife. 1906, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporations must yield incriminating evidence in anti-trust suits. 1909, The British Parliament increased naval appropriations for Britain. 1909, Three U.S. warships were ordered to Nicaragua to stem the conflict with El Salvador. 1911, Dr. Fletcher of Rockefeller Institute discovered the cause of infantile paralysis. 1912, The Girl Scout organization was founded. The original name was Girl Guides. 1923, Dr. Lee DeForest demonstrated phonofilm. It was his technique for putting sound on motion picture film. 1930, Ghandi began his 200-mile march to the sea that symbolized his defiance of British rule over India. 1933, President Paul von Hindenburg dropped the flag of the German Republic and ordered that the swastika and empire banner be flown side by side. 1933, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt presented his first presidential address to the nation. It was the first of the "Fireside Chats." 1935, Parimutuel betting became legal in the State of Nebraska. 1938, The "Anschluss" took place as German troops entered Austria. 1940, Finland surrendered to Russia ending the Russo- Finnish War. 1944, Britain barred all travel to Ireland. 1947, U.S. President Truman established the "Truman Doctrine" to help Greece and Turkey resist Communism. 1959, The U.S. House joined the U.S. Senate in approving the statehood of Hawaii. 1966, Bobby Hull, of the Chicago Blackhawks, became the first National Hockey League (NHL) player to score 51 points in a single season. 1974, "Wonder Woman" debuted on ABC-TV. The show later went to CBS-TV. 1984, Lebanese President Gemayel opened the second meeting in five years calling for the end to nine-years of war. 1985, The U.S. and the U.S.S.R. began arms control talks in Geneva. 1985, Former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announced that he planned to drop Secret Service protection and hire his own bodyguards in an effort to lower the deficit by $3 million. 1987, "Les Miserables" opened on Broadway. 1989, Prime Minister Sadiq al Mahdi of Sudan formed a new cabinet to end civil war. 1989, About 2,500 veterans and supporters marched at the Art Institute of Chicago to demand that officials remove an American flag placed on the floor as part of an exhibit. 1992, Mauritius became a republic but remained a member of the British Commonwealth. 1993, In the U.S., the Pentagon called for the closure of 31 major military bases. 1993, Janet Reno was sworn in as the first female U.S. attorney general. 1994, A photo by Marmaduke Wetherell of the Loch Ness monster was confirmed to be a hoax. The photo was taken of a toy submarine with a head and neck attached. 1994, The Church of England ordained its first women priests. 1998, Astronomers cancelled a warning that a mile-wide asteroid might collide with Earth saying that calculations had been off by 600,000 miles. 1999, Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic became members of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). All three countries were members of the former Warsaw Pact. 2002, U.S. homeland security chief Tom Ridge unveiled a color-coded system for terror warnings. 2002, Conoco and Phillips Petroleum stockholders approved a proposed merger worth $15.6 billion. 2003, In Utah, Elizabeth Smart was reunited with her family nine months after she was abducted from her home. She had been taken on June 5, 2002, by a drifter that had previously worked at the Smart home. 2003, The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume reconnaissance flights off the coast of North Korea. The flights had stopped on March 2 after an encounter with four armed North Korean jets. 2009, It was announced that the Sears Tower in Chicago, IL, would be renamed Willis Tower. 2010, In the U.S., Apple began taking pre-orders for the iPad. 2023, Do smiled.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter



If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com

If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.

If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion

---

Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

---