Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, August 11 Thank you, Mike!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Teen, his mother arrested for January killing of 14-year-old Fresno girl  ___________________________________________________ Today, August 11 in 1994 A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about 10,000 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. ____________________________________________________ Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. --- Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744), ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny sneaks up behind a girl and yells: "BOO!" "Hey!" exclaims the girl, you scared me half out of my pants!" Johnny responds: "BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO!" ____________________________________________________   Davide Anzimanni/ Instagram The Collserola Park, Barcelona, Spain ____________________________________________________ A lady goes into the local sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his birthday. A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am ?" "Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers. The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes." The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter. He belts "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15." Lady - "Wow !" She finds another and does the same. "Thats an Orion 35C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20." Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one. As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady feels the gasses produced by the beans at lunch to rumble and escape, but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is. Salesman says, "That'll be $25." "TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !? YOU SAID $20?" "That's right mam, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the stinkfish bait." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Maria Gonzalez, 42, Fresno, California, USA  Teen, his mother arrested for January killing of 14-year-old Fresno girl  After a seven-month investigation, Fresno police have arrested two people in connection to the deadly shooting of a 14-year- old girl. Breana Gomez was killed when she and two other people were on their way home from a party during the early morning hours on January 3. Detectives say the group was walking on Shaw Avenue near Maple when some came up to them and fired multiple times. Gomez died. A 15-year-old boy was also hit but survived his injuries. Last Friday, investigators arrested a 17-year-old boy for Gomez's death. They also arrested the teen's mother, 42-year-old Maria Gonzalez, as an accessory to murder for her alleged involvement after the fact. 
 DearWebby's tech support pits From: Gennie Re: Online recipies DearWebby Can online reciepes be trusted? Some friends have warned that the recipes on the net are untested and just people pretending to know what hey are doing. What's the real story? Gennie  Dear Gennie Go for the ones, that allow feedback from members. Those people are usually quite careful and double-check their recipes, so that they won't get flamed by their readers. Of course, you still have to use common sense. Typos can and do happen. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a university graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how." 
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 In a traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You're a schoolteacher, eh?" he said. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write 500 times: I drove through a red light even though I knew it is against the law.' !" ____________________________________________ Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Murphy like I do, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He climbed out of the vat three times to go to the men's room." ____________________________________________ >From Paul "Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list." Two old ladies sitting on the porch at the old folks home. One turned to the other and asked "Martha, you were married a long time, did you and your husband have mutual orgasm?" The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute and said, "No, I think we had Mutual Omaha or State Farm insurance." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, August 11, in 1860 The first successful silver mill in America began operations. The mill was in Virginia City, NV. 1874 A patent for the sprinkler head was given to Harry S. Parmelee. 1877 The two moons of Mars were discovered by Asaph Hall, an American astronomer. He named them Phobos and Deimos. 1896 Harvey Hubbell received a patent for the electric light bulb socket with a pull-chain. 1909 The American ship Arapahoe became the first to ever use the SOS distress signal off the coast of Cape Hatteras, NC. 1934 Alcatraz, in San Francisco Bay, received federal prisoners for the first time. 1941 The Atlantic Charter was signed by U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. 1942 During World War II, Pierre Laval publicly announced "the hour of liberation for France is the hour when Germany wins the war." 1945 The Allies informed Japan that they would determine Emperor Hirohito's future status after Japan's surrender. 1951 The first major league baseball game to be televised in color was broadcast. The Brooklyn Dodgers defeated the Boston Braves 8-1. 1954 Seven years of fighting came to an end in Indochina. A formal peace was in place for the French and the Communist Vietminh. 1962 Andrian Nikolayev, of the Soviet Union, was launched on a 94-hour flight. He was the third Russian to go into space. 1965 The U.S. conducted a second launch of "Surveyor-SD 2" for a landing on the Moon surface test. 1975 The U.S. vetoed the proposed admission of North and South Vietnam to the United Nations. The Security Counsel had already refused to consider South Korea's application. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was preparing for his weekly radio broadcast when, during testing of the microphone, the President said of the Soviet Union, "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you that I just signed legislation that would outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." 1990 Egyptian and Moroccan troops joined U.S. forces in Saudia Arabia to help protect from a possible Iraqi attack. 1991 The space shuttle Atlantis ended its nine-day journey by landing safely. 1992 In Bloomington, MN, the Mall of America opened. It was the largest shopping mall in the United States. 1994 A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about 10,000 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. 1995 All U.S. nuclear tests were banned by President Clinton. 1997 U.S. President Clinton made the first use of the line- item veto approved by Congress, rejecting three items in spending and tax bills. 1998 British Petroleum became No. 3 among oil companies with the $49 billion purchase of Amoco. It was the largest foreign takeover of a U.S. company. 2002 US Airways announced that it had filed for bankruptcy. 2002 Jason Priestly crashed his car during practice for a race in the Infiniti Pro Series. He suffered a spinal fracture, a moderate concussion, a broken nose, facial lacerations and broken bones in both feet. 2003 Charles Taylor, President of Liberia, flew into exile after ceding power to his vice president, Moses Blah. 2003 In Kabul, NATO took command of the 5,000-strong peacekeeping force in Afghanistan. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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