Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 29 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Florida gamer left microphone on during sex assault  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 29 in 1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before landing off Puerto Rico. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. --- Terry Pratchett Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world. --- Arthur Schopenhauer And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." --- George Burns ______________________________________________________ A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a hundred and fifty feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says, "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight stray cats." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ My client Anita and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Anita made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly flom lasst highland ellefant!" ______________________________________________________   The bait works! _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Daniel Enrique Fabian, 18, New Port Richey Florida  Florida gamer left microphone on during sex assault  Another PlayStation gamer overheard the attack. A Florida teen took a break from his game of Grand Theft Auto to rape an underage girl, police say. Daniel Enrique Fabian, 18, allegedly told another player on an online multiplayer network that he was leaving the game for a few minutes to "smash" the 15- year-old girl, the Miami Herald reports. The other player told police that Fabian left his microphone on and he overheard the entire attack, with the distressed girl yelling "No." It's not clear whether the other gamer on the PlayStation network was the one who reported Fabian to police, WFLA reports. The other gamer says Fabian returned to the game after about 15 minutes. Fabian, a New Port Richey resident, was arrested last week and charged with lewd and lascivious battery on a victim between the age of 12 and 15. Police say that during the attack overheard by the other gamers, he covered the girl's mouth and held her down as she repeatedly tried to get away. Police say DNA from the victim linked Fabian to the rape. The Pasco County Sheriff's Office says Fabian, who is being held on $30,000 bond, was arrested in June for allegedly raping another 15-year-old girl at his home. 
 From: Kenneth Re: Best Back-Up  Dear Webby, I know you once wrote about what the best method is to back up your hard drive. Unfortunately at that time I didn't have anything worth backing up and did not pay attention. Sorry 'bout that! I'm sure there are others with the same predicament. Can you please tell us again? Thanks Kenneth  Dear Kenneth The fastest, and worst, method is to back up onto a different drive in the same machine. A fire or a burglary will make you wonder why you backed up your important business data. The best method is to back up to somewhere else. I back up onto the web. You can even back up onto DropBox. Second best is to back up onto a portable USB drive. You can get 2 TB portable drives now about the size of a package of cigarettes. They easily fit into a pocket or purse. You can also get cases for them and just stuff a drive into them yourself. You can also encrypt the data on the back-up drive. With that method you simply take that portable drive with you and throw it into the glove box of your car or keep it in a pocket or purse. No matter what happens to the office or the computer, your business is still safe and ready to be restored onto a replacement machine. CD's work too, but that is a relatively slow and cumbersome method and therefore usually does not get done. You have to chose a strategy that is simple enough and easy enough. Only then will it get done regularly and become a good habit. Have FUN! DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Thanks to Ann for this one: I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 As in many homes my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game. Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold beer for me with her. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing. "See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Late Buying Christmas and Other Gifts  After Christmas is also a good time to buy gifts. Any item such as gift sets or baking equipment can be gifted the following year or during the year as birthday presents. Just remember that just because it doesn't cost much doesn't mean it's a good deal. Some of the things leftover are leftover because they weren't salable at regular price so pick carefully. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
This young boy is so talented, way above other people his age! 
 ___________________________________________________ German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber network. Irish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago obviously must have used cellphones. ___________________________________________________ A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm . . . that's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Thanks to Al for this: The other night, my wife and I were going out. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?"  
 Today November 29 in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and had been given permission to camp after giving up their weapons. 1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army-Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the rotary dial. 1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior to a Soviet attack. 1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic proclaimed. 1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army became effective. 1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for the Altair. 1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. 1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people aboard. 1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to preserve potentially vital evidence. 1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the party's 40-year monopoly on power. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes sentence since World War II. 1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and other narcotics. 2004 The French government announced plans to build the Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum was the planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's reserves. 2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog