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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, October 14 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, October 14, in 1962, The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of Cuba. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Woman tells police Excelsior Springs man picked her up off Prospect last month, kept her tied up in a small room ____________________________________________________ Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) The shortest distance between two points is under construction. --- Noelie Altito Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim. --- George Santayana (1863 - 1952) "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) I sure did! ___________________________________________________ A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Officer, only seven of them are mine!" ____________________________________________________ On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. (Yes, I remember that one and quite a few similar ones in Arizona) In a Vancouver, BC restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Timothy Haslett Jr. EXCELSIOR SPRINGS, Missouri, usa Woman tells police Excelsior Springs man picked her up off Prospect last month, kept her tied up in a small room Documents state that officers were dispatched to a home after someone called 911 to say a woman, who showed obvious signs of having been restrained, showed up at the caller's residence to say she had been held hostage since September. When they arrived, officers found a 22-year-old woman wearing latex lingerie and a metal collar around her neck with a padlock. The woman also had duct tape around her neck. The woman told officers that "a man by the name of Timothy" picked her up on Prospect at the beginning of September. Documents say she told officers that "Timothy" kept her in a small room in the basement that he had built. She said she had been restrained with handcuffs on her wrists and ankles. Excelsior Springs Police Chief Gregory Dull says his officers had this home on old orchard surrounded moments after the woman escaped. "She was able to point out the house to us from the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital," Dull said. "We were able to keep him from getting back into the house and possibly destroying evidence." The woman, identified only by her initials in court documents, said she was able to get free when the suspect left to take his child to school. Police noted in the documents that Excelsior Springs EMS crews worked to remove the lock from the collar the woman was wearing as it was restricting her breathing. She was taken to an area hospital for treatment and, on the way, pointed out the house she said she had escaped from. That house was 301 Old Orchard Ave. the home of 39-year- old Timothy Haslett Jr. The woman told officers she had been whipped by "Timothy" while she was restrained, and injuries consistent with her story were found on her back. She also told police she had been raped multiple times, and frequently, while she was held hostage. Police conducted a traffic stop on a truck reportedly belonging to Haslett and took him into custody on an unrelated animal control violation. Police noted in the court documents that a search warrant served inside the home revealed a room in the basement consistent with what the woman had described. Haslett has since been charged by the Clay County Prosecutor's Office with rape, kidnapping and assault. The woman was taken to a hospital for treatment, where she was last listed in stable condition. _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this old favorite: Subject: The Blonde Cook Book Blonde Cook Book MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. _____________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Eric R. Smith Jasper National Park _________________________________________________ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not, darling?" "You know that you always have a headache next morning after wearing that suit!" _________________________________________________ Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Martha F. Re: Back-Ups Dear Webby we had all the computers at work stolen in a break- in. We had no security system, because "Who would steal those old klunkers?" and we had no backups, because "Those old machines are still pretty good". The insurance will, eventually, pay the CURRENT value of those old klunkers, but because we had no backups, they won't pay a penny for data loss or to pay for punching it all back ito computers. As you can imagine, some people got yelled at and the manager got fired. Now I am filling in until a permanent one is hired. What is the best back-up method ? Thanks Martha F. Dear Martha The best back-up method is the one that is used daily. With portable USB harddrives, the biggest nuisance is that they have to be carried to a safe place far away from work. After all, if you have a fire, the ashes from back-up media are rather useless. Among portable media the best one is the portable USB harddrive. You can get a 1 TB portable about the size of a pack of cigarettes. They are very sturdy and you can just throw one into a briefcase, purse, or glove box in your vehicle when you go home. The only method better than that is proper off-site back-ups to your web domain. That is as easy as copying your data files into a different folder, and no matter what happens to your building, the data is safely stashed in a secure place on the web, and as long as you remember the password, the data can be downloaded into new computers in a few minutes. Have Fun! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ------------ That must have been some time ago. Here gas meters and electrical meters and water meters have cell phones built in and phone in their readings once an hour. ___________________________________________________ A girl says to the salesman, "I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker." He says, "Well, that depends. Are you going to sweat, or are you gonna break wind?" _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, october 14, in 1066, The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 1879, Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 1887, Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 1888, In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 1912, Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene of the shooting. 1922, Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per- hour. 1926, The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 1928, The first televised wedding took place in Des Plains, IL. James Fowlkes and Cora Dennison were married in a radio studio. 1930, Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 1933, Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the League of Nations. 1936, The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 1943, The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of the NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million for the network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 1944, German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 1944, During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade liberated the city of Athens. 1947, Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American to break the sound barrier. 1954, C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 1960, U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested the idea of a Peace Corps. 1961, "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying" opened on Broadway. 1962, The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 1964, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1968, The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 1970, Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death of President Nasser. 1972, In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 1986, Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms race in space. 1987, Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 2001, Toys "R" Us introduced the new version of Geoffrey the giraffe in a 60-second commercial before WABC-TV aired Disney's "The Emperor's New Groove." 2002, Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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