Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 19 Thank you, Trevor!!! Yesterday and today, in 0064, Rome burned down. All the houses except for the palace had been wood construction. Because of the fire, wood construction was outlawed. That is why Rome was rebuilt with stone, especially marble, and has not burned since. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Naked, homeless man arrested after breaking into Wallingford, CT home ___________________________________________________ Today, July 19 in 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. ____________________________________________________ You can't have everything. Where would you put it? --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) ____________________________________________________ One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five." ____________________________________________________ Uttam Das Adhikari ____________________________________________________ A little town attracted the attention of sociologists at the state university because of its high birth rate. A team of researchers writes a grant proposal, gets a chunk of money, hires additional staff members and moves to the town. While the staff is busy getting ready for the big research effort, the project director goes to the local coffee shop for a cup of coffee. While he is drinking his coffee, he starts talking with the proprietor, and at one point in the conversation he asks the local man if he has any idea why the birth rate is so high. "Sure," says the coffee shop owner. "Every morning the 6:00 train comes through here and blows its whistle for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ian Wigget, 41, Wallingford, Connecticot, USA Naked, homeless man arrested after breaking into Wallingford, CT home A naked homeless man faces charges for breaking into a home in Wallingford Thursday morning, according to police. Ian Wigget, 41, was arrested after officers cornered him in a home on North Turnpike Road. Police said they closed a portion of North Turnpike Road just before 9 a.m. out of an abundance of caution while they secured the scene. A homeowner reported coming home and finding a man inside the house, in the nude. The homeowner quickly left and called police. The suspect got inside by breaking a window, police said. Officers said they took control of the scene and isolated the suspect inside. They assumed the man was Wigget before identifying him due to a previously related incident. They tried to call him on a listed phone number, and also use a loudspeaker, to make contact. Police eventually decided to go inside the home to apprehend him. They found Wigget and arrested him without incident. Wigget was charged with second-degree burglary, interfering with an officer and second-degree criminal mischief. His bond was set at $10,000 and he was given a court date of Aug. 10 in Meriden. He won't be homeless for some time. DearWebby's tech support pits from: Janice Re: Batteries Dear Webby Your Humour letter always cheers me, no matter the mood before. Thank you!!! Even though you have had a great tragedy. My condolences to you. Since you have no computer advice today. I have a noncomputer question that has puzzled me for a long long time. Since car batteries die in the extreme cold, why don't the little batteries (ie A, AA, AAA, B, C, D, etc.) die in the refrigerator? I have heard that they even rejuvenate in the fridge or freezer. Can this be? You stated you take the cap lock off your keyboards? Does that harm anything? Mine has been dealing me fits lately! (Sexy) Janice Dear Sexy Janice Fully charged car batteries are just fine in extreme cold. Extremely cold car engines are hard to start and often drain the battery, before the engine starts. At -45 it is a good idea to restart the engine every 4 hours, so that it does not get too cold. Dry cell or Alcaliine Batteries are a different story. They age and slowly deteriorate sitting on a warm shelf. They deteriorate not quite as fast while in a fridge. It does not really rejuvenate them, just slows down their aging. Prying the CAPS LOCK key off the keyboard and gluing it onto the coin operated COPY machine at Walmart will NOT hurt your computer, but will reduce your cussing quite significantly. Have FUN! DearWebby In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled and screamed, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?" The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?" ____________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ____________________________________________ A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some canned salmon and other camouflage. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the road where your car ran over it, when you went to the store." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 19, in 1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau League to fight against the Reformation. 1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. 1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market. 1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 1870 France declared war on Prussia. 1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use fiberglass sutures. 1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American anti-submarine countermeasures. 1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time. 1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 1964 In Illinois, Cahokia Mounds was designated as a U.S. National Landmark. 1971 In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World Trade Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One World Trade Center had taken place on December 23, 1970. 1974 The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S. President Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for any of the five impeachment charges against him. 1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being linked in orbit for two days. 1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation Front (Frente Sandinista de Liberacin Nacional or FSLN). 1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the population had an income below the official poverty level in 1981. 1985 George Bell won first place in a biggest feet contest with a shoe size of 28-1/2. Bell, at age 26, stood 7 feet 10 inches tall. 1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be the first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She died with six others when the Challenger exploded the following year. 2021 Do smiled. |
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