Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, November 5 ____________________________________________________ Today, November 5 in  1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Brother kills sibling over corn dogs  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much. W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman _______________________________________________ Three friends go on a hike in a forest. One is a professor, one a CEO, and one a janitor. Suddenly, they encounter a glowing ball of light that resolves itself into a beautiful fairy. The fairy says I will give you humans what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day. You will be given all the resources you need. The professor says I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read? so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up. The C.E.O says I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze. so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up. The janitor says I'll be an artist so he is transported to an art facility. He uses the facility to create a huge art exhibit in which he glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, telling the story behind it, then sells it for a million dollars. After the day way done, the fairy congratulates the janitor. "But how come you could do all that?" She asks him curiously. The janitor shrugged. I have a masters degree in art. ________________________________________________`   Golden Pheasant ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Richard Dean Ammons, 57, Hot Springs, Arkansas  Brother kills sibling over corn dogs  Authorities say that a man was arrested on a murder charge late Thursday after pushing his brother out of a moving vehicle during an argument, causing his death. A probable-cause affidavit says that the argument was over corn dogs. 57-year old Richard Dean Ammons was taken into custody at his residence in Hot Springs, Arkansas and was charged with second- degree murder, a felony punishable by up to 30 years in prison He was being held in lieu of $10,000 bond and appeared via video Friday morning in Garland County District Court, where he pleaded innocent to the charge. According to the affidavit, the Garland County sheriff's office received a 911 call around 7:18 p.m. Thursday about a man lying in the road in the town of Royal. When Sheriff's Cpl. Jon Lane and Deputy Charles DeLaHunt arrived at the scene, they found the man, later identified as 55-year old Johnnie Ammons, lying in the roadway. They noted that his arm was bleeding. Johnnie Ammons told Lane that his brother, Richard Ammons, had thrown him from a Jeep and had "broken his back and killed him," according to the affidavit. Lane asked the victim why that occurred, and the victim said the two had been "arguing over corn dogs," the affidavit said. Johnnie Ammons was taken to CHI St. Vincent Hot Springs, where he died soon after. The affidavit noted that he had multiple scrapes and bruises on his body. Deputies found Richard Ammons at his residence and took him to the sheriff's office for questioning. Ammons stated that he had gone to his brother's house after work to take him to the store. He said he drove them to Brady Mountain One Stop and then to the Dollar General store across the road. Richard Ammons stated that "a lot of times" his brother would stay in his Jeep and "continue to drink beer." He said the two of them got into an argument, but he couldn't remember what the argument was about, the affidavit said. He added that, "maybe I pushed him out of the Jeep." 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Grace Re: Belarc Advisor  Dear Webby, I need to get the Belarc Advisor again, but forgot to transfer the link to my new machine. Please send it again! Grace  Dear Grace It is at Belarc If any of you are not familiar with it, the Belarc Advisor makes a total inventory of your machine, hardware and software. Excellent idea for insurance purposes and before sending it out for repair. Free! Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 WHEN my brother-in-law, Jeff, an Army sergeant, got back from Operation Desert Storm, his name was proudly displayed in the window of our local grocery store. But when I told him I had seen the display, he didn't seem enthusiastic. "Yesterday, I was famous," he said dryly, "but today I got replaced by some guy named Chuck Roast." 
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 Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later that semester, she asked him how the mixer was working for him. "Not very good," Terry said, "the potatoes keep flying all over the kitchen." After a perplexed pause, his mother asked, "Terry, did you cook the potatoes first?" To which a surprised Terry responded, "You have to cook the potatoes first?" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com  Pressing Rice Krispy Treats Love Rice Krispy Treats but hate the mess? Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers. Butter or oil rubbed on your fingers can also be used. ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Secret Worlds: The Universe Within 
 ___________________________________________________ ONCE, I visited my friend Martha at her dress shop, and she introduced me to another customer as "the woman who stole my son." "You must be Keith's wife," the shopper remarked, looking at me. "No, she isn't," answered Martha. "She's the Navy recruiter." ___________________________________________________ One husband reports: "Our argument was well under way as my wife and I left the party. Once we were in the car, words were flying. My wife had really worked up a storm, and after a few choice words from me, she shouted, 'Stop the car and let me out!'" "I pulled over to the curb. She unlocked the door and got out, but then looked around and got back in again, saying, 'Take me to a better neighborhood!' "That broke up both of us -- and the argument, too." ___________________________________________________ > From BillyBob In my senior year, I reluctantly took a required psychology course. The first day, the professor commented on each student's major, trying to provoke a response. It was working - some students were becoming defensive. When it was my turn, I told him I was a music major. "So," asked my professor, "what does your father think of your wasting your education to study music?" "He's just thankful," I shot back, "that I didn't go into psychology." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, November 5 in 1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament and King James I. 1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company. 1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third term in office. 1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives at the age of 29. 1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally re- opened. 1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of weapons to Iran. 1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced to life for treason against the white minority government of South Africa. 1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. 1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade Center bombing. 1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's disease. 1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998 In the U.S., Chairman Henry Hyde of the Judiciary Committee asked President Clinton to answer 81 questions for the House impeachment inquiry. 1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in airline services. 2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. 2019 Do smiled.