Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 9 ____________________________________________________ Facts don't count if the ugly duckling doesn't like them. Well, that works for Biden! Greta finally got arrested! History: today, July 8 in 1816, Argentina declared independence from Spain. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Texas gunman in Walmart shooting gets 90 consecutive life sentences but may still face death penalty ___________________________________________________ Q Maybe this world is another planet's hell. --- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963) "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) -------------- I sure did! __________________________________________________ A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Officer, only seven of them are mine!" ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ Gold Topaz ___________________________________________________ On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. (Yes, I remember that one and quite a few similar ones in Arizona) In a Vancouver, BC restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Patrick Crusius, 24, El Paso, Texas, USA Texas gunman in Walmart shooting gets 90 consecutive life sentences but may still face death penalty A white gunman who killed 23 people in a racist attack on Hispanic shoppers at a Walmart in a Texas border city was sentenced Friday to 90 consecutive life sentences but could still face more punishment, including the death penalty. Patrick Crusius, 24, pleaded guilty earlier this year to nearly 50 federal hate crime charges in the 2019 mass shooting in El Paso, making it one of the U.S. governments largest hate crime cases. Crusius, wearing a jumpsuit and shackles, showed no visible reaction as the verdict was read. Police say Crusius drove more than 700 miles from his home near Dallas to target Hispanics with an AK-style rifle inside and outside the store. Moments before the attack began, Crusius posted a racist screed online that warned of a Hispanic "invasion" of Texas. Crusius pleaded guilty in February after federal prosecutors took the death penalty off the table. But Texas prosecutors have said they will try to put Crusius on death row when he stands trial in state court. That trial date has not yet been set. Joe Spencer, Crusius attorney, told the judge before the sentencing that his client had a "broken brain" and that he had lost touch with reality. "Patricks thinking is at odds with reality resulting in delusional thinking," Spencer told the court. The sentencing by U.S. District Judge David Guaderrama in El Paso followed two days of impact statements from relatives of the victims, including citizens of Mexico. In addition to the dead, more than two dozen people were injured and numerous others were severely traumatized as they hid or fled. One by one, family members used their first opportunity since the shooting to directly address Crusius, describing how their lives have been upended by grief and pain. Some forgave Crusius. One man displayed photographs of his slain father, insisting that the gunman look at them. ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this old favorite: Subject: The Blonde Cook Book Blonde Cook Book MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. __________________________________________________ As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?" ___________________________________________________ Asian Paradise Bird ___________________________________________________ As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?" ___________________________________________________ From:Martha F. Re: Back-Ups Dear Webby we had all the computers at work stolen in a break- in. We had no security system, because "Who would steal those old klunkers?" and we had no backups, because "Those old machines are still pretty good". The insurance will, eventually, pay the CURRENT value of those old klunkers, but because we had no backups, they won't pay a penny for data loss or to pay for punching it all back ito computers. As you can imagine, some people got yelled at and the manager got fired. Now I am filling in until a permanent one is hired. What is the best back-up method ? Thanks Martha F Dear Martha The best back-up method is the one that is used daily. With portable USB harddrives, the biggest nuisance is that they have to be carried to a safe place far away from work. After all, if you have a fire, the ashes from back-up media are rather useless. Among portable media the best one is the portable USB harddrive. You can get a 1 TB portable about the size of a pack of cigarettes. They are very sturdy and you can just throw one into a briefcase, purse, or glove box in your vehicle when you go home. The only method better than that is proper off-site back-ups to your web domain. That is as easy as copying your data files into a different folder, and no matter what happens to your building, the data is safely stashed in a secure place on the web, and as long as you remember the password, the data can be downloaded into new computers in a few minutes. You can, of course, also back up onto a camera chip. The only problem with camera chips is that they tend to get lost, unless you have some kind of discipline for storing them. Have Fun! DearWebby ___________________________________________________________ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not, darling?" "You know that you always have a headache next morning and can't stand any noise after wearing that suit!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young guy replied. The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "Alright. Get in." __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 9, in 0118, Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city. 0455, Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became Emperor of the West. 1540, England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled. 1609, In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted Bohemia freedom of worship. 1755, General Edward Braddock was mortally wounded when French and Indian troops ambushed his force of British regulars and colonial militia. He died on July 13. 1776, The American Declaration of Independence was read aloud to Gen. George Washington's troops in New York. 1789, In Versailles, the French National Assembly declared itself the Constituent Assembly and began to prepare a French constitution. 1790, The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian fleet at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea. 1792, S.L. Mitchell of Columbia College in New York City became the first Professor of Agriculture. 1808, The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker. 1816, Argentina declared independence from Spain. 1847, A 10-hour work day was established for workers in the state of New Hampshire. 1868, The 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment was designed to grant citizenship to and protect the civil liberties of recently freed slaves. It did this by prohibiting states from denying or abridging the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States, depriving any person of his life, liberty, or property without due process of law, or denying to any person within their jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. 1872, The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel. 1877, Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone Company. 1878, The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe. 1900, The Commonwealth of Australia was established by an act of the British Parliament, uniting the separate colonies under a federal government. 1922, Johnny Weissmuller became the first person to swim the 100 meters freestyle in less than a minute. 1943, American and British forces made an amphibious landing on Sicily. 1947, The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced. 1951, U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end the state of war between the United States and Germany. 1953, New York Airways began the first commuter passenger service by helicopter. 1971, The United States turned over complete responsibility of the Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units. 1997, Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield. 2005, Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China. He was the first person to clear the wall without motorized aid. 2015, The South Carolina House of Representatives approved taking down the Confederate flag from the Capitol grounds. The flag was removed the next day and taken to a state military museum. 2023, Do smiled.
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