Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 4 Thank you, Kurt!

1411
Ophelia DingbatterIf you like my work,
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 4, in 2010, In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Plano police mke quick arrest on felony residential burglary charge _____________________________________________________ Q The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) ____________________________________________________ Do's mother decided that Do should get something 'practical' for the birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Do thought that was a fine idea. "It's your account", mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Do was doing fine until he came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.' After a slight hesitation, Do put down 'Piggy'. __________________________________________________ Joe was having a tough day and had stretched himself out on the couch to do a bit of what he thought to be well- deserved complaining and self-pitying. He moaned to his wife, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" His wife, busily occupied with other things, hardly looked up at and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Joe. Can't be everybody. Some people don't know you yet." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Eloy D. Contreras, 18, Plano, Illinois, USA Plano police mke quick arrest on felony residential burglary charge Plano police arrested Eloy D. Contreras, 18, of the 900 block of West South Street, Plano, on a felony charge of residential burglary in connection with an incident that occurred shortly after 1:30 a.m. Jan. 1 in the 900 block of West South Street In a statement, police said the victim reported that when she returned home and attempted to open her front door an unknown individual pushed the door closed which briefly prevented her from entering. The unknown subject then fled from the residence through a rear entrance. Police said the victim had interrupted a residential burglary that had been in progress and a trail of the victims personal property was found strewn throughout the yard outside of the rear entrance where the suspect had fled. Police said found among the property that was recovered was a wallet which was unknown to the victim. The wallet contained documents with the name of the suspect who resides in very close proximity to the victims residence. Police said they later received information that further proceeds to the burglary could be seen through a window of the suspects residence. Police said they then obtained consent from a tenant at the residence to enter and recover the property. Police said officers located the suspect a short distance from the residence where the burglary occurred and he was transported to the county jail after being booked at the police station. The Kendall County States Attorneys Office has charged Contreras with felony residential burglary. ___________________________________________________ Dr Moe Himalayan Poppy ___________________________________________________ A doctor sees an old man merrily walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm and recognizes him as one of his clients whom he had not seen in a few years. Half a year later he sees the old man at the bank in line ahead of him. The doctor says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." "I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be careful..." "Too late!" ---------- When I win the lottery, I will most definitely follow the "cheerful" advice! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Judith Farrugia Parodia _______________________________________________ A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there. Girl: "My father isn't home, but I know what you want and I can help you. You want our bull to service your cow. Well, my father charges one hundred dollars for his best bull." Neighbor: "That's not I want." Girl: "We have a young bull who is just starting out. My father charges fifty dollars for him." Neighbor: "That's not I want." Girl: "We have an old bull out in the pasture. He can still do a job. My father charges only ten dollars for him." Neighbor: "That's not what I want. I came here to see your father about your brother. Your brother Elmer made my daughter pregnant." Girl: "Oh. You'll have to see my father about that because I don't know what he charges for Elmer." ____________________________________________________ Jill's husband was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the lady behind the counter stated. "Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue." "Yes, I know." said the man. "It's my wife Jill, she is out of control." "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you make?" asked the bank teller. "Frankly," replied the man with a deep sigh, "because I'd rather argue with you than with her." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Audrey RE: Email program Dear Webby Outloook has again lost my mail. This is it! What email program do you suggest? I am handicapped with W10. Thanks Audrey Dear Audrey Just use Gmail Gmail is reliable, predictable, and easy to learn. You get 15 GB of space without having to pay a penny. The built in spam filtering is surprisingly good, and it is not too difficult to add filters to safeguard mail from lovers and friends no matter how spammy it looks. Gmail has deteriorated since it was new, but is still pretty good. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Q. What do you get when you cross a lion and an ocelot? A. A political animal called a Lialot, close relative of the Cheetalot. ____________________________________________________ Today, January 4 in 1850, The first American ice-skating club was organized in Philadelphia, PA. 1884, The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 1928, NBC Radio debuted "The Dodge Victory Hour" which starred Will Rogers, Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra and singer Al Jolson. 1935, Bob Hope was heard for the first time on network radio as part of "The Intimate Revue." 1936, The first pop music chart based on national sales was published by "Billboard" magazine. 1944, The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British Fifth Army in Italy. 1948, Britain granted independence to Burma. 1951, During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 1953, Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills. 1957, "Colliers" magazine was published for the last time. The periodical was published for 69 years. 1958, The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 1962, New York City introduced a train that operated without conductors and motormen. 1965, The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13 million. 1965, In his State of the Union address, U.S. President Johnson proclaimed the building of the "Great Society." 1974, U.S. President Nixon refused to hand over tape recordings and documents subpoenaed by the Senate Watergate Committee. 1974, NBC-TV presented hockey in prime time. The Boston Bruins and the New York Rangers were the teams in the National Hockey League (NHL) game. 1981, The Broadway show "Frankenstein" lost an estimated $2 million, when it opened and closed on the same night. 1984, Wayne The Great One Gretzky scored eight points (four goals and four assists) for the second time in his National Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmontons Oilers defeated the Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was the highest-scoring NHL game to date. 1991, The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied territories. 1997, The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 1999, A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at sea for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit working. 1999, Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in as Minnesota's 37th governor. 2007, Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. She was the first woman to hold the position. 2010, In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 2022 Do smiled.
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