Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, December 25 Merry Christmas, Do! Thank you, Harry!! Thank you, Ginger !! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award California shoplifter gets jailed for assaulting Dollar store manager ____________________________________________________ Today, December 25, in 0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome by Pope Leo III. ____________________________________________________ When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) ____________________________________________________ Have you ever made Santa Hat Pancakes?  ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ ====from Ethel: Dear Webby, want to make a tasty and nutritious meal out of those left-over banana peels? Put them in a coffee can and bury them to a depth of one foot. Leave them there all summer. When you dig them up and open the can, the odor is so bad that it will actually cause birds to fall from the sky. Cook birds at 400 degrees for half an hour. Sincerely, Ethel. ================= ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Albert Gonzales, 36, Merced, California, USA  California shoplifter gets jailed for assaulting Dollar store manager  A man was arrested after authorities say he assaulted a store manager during a failed shoplifting attempt on Tuesday in Merced. Around 4:00 p.m., police say a store manager at the Dollar Tree on Olive Avenue caught Albert Gonzales, 36, trying to steal items and attempted to detain him. In an effort to get away with the stolen goods, officials say Gonzales assaulted the manager and ran out of the store. The manager didnt receive any significant injuries during the assault. A short time later, officers found Gonzales nearby on Devonwood Drive and placed him under arrest. Gonzales was arrested for strong-arm robbery and booked into the Merced County Jail. He will get his Christmas dinner in jail, with everybody laughing at him for trying a strong-arm robbery at the dollar store. California is now finally allowed to crack down on store robberies. Merced belongs to Fresno, where 1 in 25 get to be a victim of violent crime. Some people are getting tired of that.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Janice Re: Cheaper Glasses Dear Webby Just an added note on cheap glasses. Dollar Tree has magnifying glasses for $1. I like to buy the idiot string there too. I wear mine as a necklace, they last longer that way. I am still loving your Humour letter. It is usually the first email I open. Sincerely, Janice  Dear Janice Thank you very much for your really helpful advice. I bet a lot of people did not know that! Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Sent in by Remraf1: As a retired Theologian with many years experience, I have concluded that most people earnestly desire to serve God -- In an advisory capacity. -- Dr. W.C. Farmer 
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 _____________________________________________  A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk for a week, and the second time he fell off." ______________________________________________ DUMBWAITER: Waiter who asks if the kids would care to order dessert AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has changed 600 diapers to make love again. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained broccoli. ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him alive. "Yes," she replied. "Tell him . . . mother didn't come after all." ___________________________________________________  
 Today, December 25, in 0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome by Pope Leo III. 1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. 1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian forces at Trenton, NJ. 1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion that resulted in the Civil War. 1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody "The Stars and Stripes Forever." 1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed an unofficial truce and even playing football together on the Western Front. 1917 The play "Why Marry?" opened at the Astor Theatre in New York City. "Why Marry?" was the first dramatic play to win a Pulitzer Prize. 1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death of his father Emperor Taisho. 1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, New York opened to the public. It was the first bobsled track of international specifications to open in the U.S. 1931 Lawrence Tibbett was the featured vocalist as radio came to the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City. The first opera was "Hansel und Gretel" and was heard on the NBC network of stations. 1937 Arturo Toscanini conducted the first broadcast of "Symphony of the Air" over NBC radio. 1939 "A Christmas Carol," by Charles Dickens, was read on CBS radio for the first time. 1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese. 1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66. 1950 Dick Tracy married on Tess Truehart. 1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, DC, recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000. 1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. Over 10,000 people were killed. 1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war and protect USSR interests. 1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, were executed following a popular uprising. 1989 Dissident playwright Vaclav Havel was elected president of Czechoslovakia. 1998 Seven days into their journey, Richard Branson, Steve Fossett and Per Lindstrand of Sweden gave up their attempt to make the first nonstop round-the-world balloon flight. They ditched near Hawaii. 2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by fire at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. The incident occurred at the Dongdu Disco. 2021 Do smiled. 

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