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Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 23 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, september 23, in 1999, A 17-month-old girl fell 230 feet from the Capilano Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The girl had bruises but no broken limbs from the fall onto a rocky ledge. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Man Assaults Female Police Officer During Traffic Stop Until Good Samaritans Arrive and tune up the bonehead. ____________________________________________________ The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. --- Anatole France (1844 - 1924) To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. --- Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880) ___________________________________________________ Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked. "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get? The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied " Probably ten years to life." ____________________________________________________ Attorney to prospective juror: "Have you ever had trouble with your back or neck?" Prospective juror: "No, I haven't." Atty.: "How about your husband?" Prospective Juror: "No, I don't have trouble with him either." __________________________________________________ reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by David Koubeck, 64, Willoughby, Ohio, USA Man Assaults Female Police Officer During Traffic Stop Until Good Samaritans Arrive and tune up the bonehead. Police officers have to be prepared for any scenario, expecting the unexpected, being ready for a variety of responses from the people they interact with but sometimes they can use a helping hand from the very communities they are out serving. When Officer Stacee Wright with the Willoughby Police Department performed a routine traffic stop on Sept. 10, she was about to learn how much her community supported her, Fox News reported. David Koubeck, 64, was driving along Lost Nation Road outside Cleveland, Ohio, when he was pulled over by officer Wright. According to what Wright said in the resulting bodycam video, she clocked him going 57 in a 35. He was visibly quite unhappy about the entire ordeal, and it quickly became clear that he was not going to cooperate. Within moments of Wright informing Koubeck of his infraction and asking for his license, he opened the drivers side door, hopped out and beelined to the back door. Officer Wright quickly asked what hes doing and called for backup. Koubeck said hes getting his license and appeared to snatch a wallet from the back seat. Wright asked him to get out of the road and sit on the curb, but the situation continued to escalate as Koubeck refused to sit. Im not sitting, he said, staring down at her through his shades. Then he jabbed his finger in her face and repeated in a much stronger tone, Im not sitting! The next few tense moments showed the pair squaring off, with Wright attempting to subdue the recalcitrant driver and the driver continuing to oppose her requests. The two eventually threw hands, and Koubeck pinned Wright against his vehicle. Traffic passing the two quickly stopped as people realized what was happening. A truck pulled over, and a man ran from across the street and tackled Koubeck, throwing him to the grass. Soon three more good Samaritans (including another woman) arrived, all helping to subdue the uncooperative man. You dont do that to a woman, one of them said to the outnumbered Koubeck. Do you understand me? Another officer arrived and helped Wright cuff and escort Koubeck to her vehicle. Now, instead of just getting fined for speeding, Koubeck now also faces charges for assault on an officer, resisting arrest and failure to wear a seatbelt, according to Fox News. AND,... Since the cops can't leave an un-attended vehicle of a felon on the road, add towing charges and impound fees, that are probably MUCH more than speeding ticket fines. AND, because of a reciprocal agreement between the USA and Europe and Canada, Customs and airport security will tell him to F.O. and get lost, if he ever wants to travel. He is now in their computer and in face recognition. Even the Walmart face recognition will soon recognize him. _____________________________________________________ Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week". - "Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day". - "That's nothing", said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see my grandma and grampa, I can wear them out in a hour". _____________________________________________________ John Krampl at Waterton Lakes National Park. _____________________________________________________ A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 10 yards." "Is that when you swore?" "No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away." "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again. "Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun. "No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball." "Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient. "No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole." The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the f&%&ing putt, didn't you?" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. Mortgaging a future crop is saddling a wobbly colt. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor. Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled. Meanness don't happen overnight. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful. Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. Don't sell your mule to buy a plow. Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat. Don't corner something meaner than you. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies. Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug. You can't unsay a cruel thing. Every path has some puddles . When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. And don't name a pig, calf or goat you plan to eat. _________________________________________________ dearwebby's tech support pits From: Terry Re: Blacklisting or filtering spam? Dear Webby, What is better for controlling spam, blacklisting, or filters? Terry Dear Terry Whenever you spot a pattern, make a filter. Filters are permanent. Your blacklist grows large and unwieldy very quickly, but is usually quite useless, since spammers never re-use the same forged sending address anyway. The only difference you'll notice when you dump your blacklist, is that the program works faster. Filters can work on the body of the email, not just on the usually forged sender address, and they do that no matter how misleading the subject line is. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!" "That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse." "How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "Could it have been worse?" "Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!" _____________________________________________________ Redneck Pilot Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. You think sectional charts should show trailer parks. Your toothpick keeps poking your mike. You've thought about just taxiing around the airport drinking beer. You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock. You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight. You refer to flying in formation as "We got us a convoy". You have an orange airplane with a Union Jack on the side. You've got a gun rack hanging on the passenger window. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together. Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass, and wheat from the landing gear. You siphon gas out of your tractor to put in your airplane. You've never really actually landed at an airport, although you've been flying for years. There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere". There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left. You have to buzz the strip to chase off all the sheep. You've landed on the main street of your town for a cup of coffee. You fly to family reunions to meet girls. You've won the "Bob Wire" award at a spot landing contest. You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass. There are grass stains on your propeller tips. The spittoon is wedged between the rudder pedals Just before impact, you're heard saying "Hey, y'all, hold mah beer and watch this!" _____________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, september 23, in 1642 - The first commencement at Harvard College, in Cambridge, MA, was held. 1779, John Paul Jones, commander of the American warship Bon Homme, was quoted as saying "I have not yet begun to fight!" 1780, John Andre, a British spy, was captured with papers revealing that Benedict Arnold was going to surrender West Point, NY, to the British. 1806, The Corps of Discovery, the Lewis and Clark expedition, reached St. Louis, MO, and ended the trip to the Pacific Northwest. 1846, Astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the planet Neptune. 1912, "Keystone Comedy" by Mack Sennett was released. 1930, Flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier. 1951, The first transcontinental telecast was received on the west coast. The show "Crusade for Freedom" was broadcast by CBS-TV from New York. 1952, The first Pay Television sporting event took place. The Marciano-Walcott fight was seen in 49 theaters in 31 cities. 1952, Richard Nixon gave his "Checkers Speech". At the time he was a candidate for U.S. vice-president. 1953, "The Robe" premiered in Hollywood a week after its premiere in New York. The 20th Century Fox movie had been filmed using the Cinemascope wide screen process. 1957, Nine black students withdrew from Little Rock Central High School in Arkansas due to the white mob outside. 1962, "The Jetsons" premiered on ABC-TV. It was the first program on the network to be carried in color. 1964, The new ceiling painting of the Paris Opera house was unveiled. The work was done by Russian-born artist Marc Chagall. 1973, Overthrown Argentine president Juan Peron was returned to power. He had been overthrown in 1955. His wife, Eva Duarte, was the subject of the musical "Evita." 1981, The Reagan administration announced its plans for what became known as Radio Marti. 1986, Japanese newspapers quoted Prime Minister Yasuhiro Nakasone as saying that minorities lowered the "intelligence level" of America. 1990, Iraq publicly threatened to destroy Middle East oil fields and to attack Israel if any nation tried to force it from Kuwait. 1991, U.N. weapons inspectors find documents detailing Iraq's secret nuclear weapons program. The find in Baghdad triggered a standoff with authorities in Iraq. 1993, The Israeli parliament ratified the Israel-PLO accord. 1993, Blacks were allowed a role in the South African government after a parliamentary vote. 1999, A 17-month-old girl fell 230 feet from the Capilano Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The girl had bruises but no broken limbs from the fall onto a rocky ledge. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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