Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, April 13 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Friday the 13th! Remember, it is bad luck to be superstitious! Smallblessings.com is for sale: $100 You can use it for anything you want. Offer expires on 4/22/2018 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Virginia woman hreatened to bomb a 7-Eleven Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 13 in 1959 A Vatican edict prohibited Roman Catholics from voting for Communists. And now they have a communist pope! See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Rose for this one: While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had to let loose a big noisy fart. Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her "Do you by any chance have todays paper?" The lady looked at him and said "No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 900-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames. There were no injuries and nobody got sued. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Crystal Mostek, 33, Virginia Beach, Virginia  Virginia woman threatened to bomb a 7-Eleven  A woman was arrested on Wednesday after she allegedly threatened to blow up a 7-Eleven in Virginia. Crystal Mostek, 33, strode into the Virginia Beach, Virginia, convenience store, on Tuesday and was reported to have put a device on the counter. She was then said to have allegedly told the store clerk that it was actually a bomb, WAVY reported. Virginia Beach Fire Department spokesman Art Kohn asserted that the woman threatened to blow up the store. It was later determined that the device she sat on the counter wasn't actually a bomb. The woman was charged with threatening to bomb and possession of a hoax device. A motive has not been released for the woman, who is still currently being held at the Virginia Beach Jail.   Tech Support Pits From: Ella Re: Bouncing spam  Dear Webby, I have always been bouncing spam back at the sender, but now my daughter told me that you had written once that was a dumb idea. She couldn't remember the details, though, and told me to write you myself. So, what's the story with bouncing spam? Ella  Dear Ella The only email to bounce is when your mother-in-law writes that she will come for an uninvited but extended visit. Spammers never use their own address as the sender address, and often they even forge the recipient's address as the sender address. Not all, but some spammers use a collector address to catch all the bounces. They can tell if the mail was bounced by a spam control program. A fake bounce to them is confirmation that the address works, and they sell it as "guaranteed live". Except for the one exception mentioned above, bouncing does not work in your favor. Have FUN DearWebby    Jill, in the personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. She sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we do have a few alcoholics." 
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 A fight broke out between a couple redneck locals and a lone biker at closing time in the local watering hole. After easily laying out the drunken hillbillies the biker heard someone behind him! So he swung around and landed a kick to a butt, realizing too late that it was only the barmaid picking up empty glasses. When the case went to court, the judge asked, "Are you the woman alleging she was kicked in the altercation?" To which she answered, "I ain't never had no alteration! These is all my original parts." 
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 "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club. "Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive." "Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cloudy Vases  If your flower vases have a cloudy look or a white film buildup inside, try soaking them in white vinegar. It should remove the film.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  Murphy had been drinking at the pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So Murphy stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He managed to crawl through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting,"SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again!"   ___________________________________________________ Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love." "Well," said the other, "that would certainly revolutionize hockey!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, April 13 in 1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes which granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots. 1759 The French defeated the European allies in Battle of Bergen. 1775 Lord North extended the New England Restraining Act to South, Carolina, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Maryland. The act prohibited trade with any country other than Britain and Ireland. 1782 Washington, NC, was incorporated as the first town to be named for George Washington. 1808 William "Juda" Henry Lane perfected the tap dance. 1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion to Catholics. 1849 The Hungarian Republic was proclaimed. 1860 The first mail was delivered via Pony Express when a westbound rider arrived in Sacremento, CA from St. Joseph, MO. 1861 After 34 hours of bombardment, the Union-held Fort Sumter surrenders to Confederates. 1916 The first hybrid seed corn was purchased for 15-cents a bushel by Samuel Ramsay. 1933 The first flight over Mount Everest was completed by Lord Clydesdale. 1941 German troops captured Belgrade, Yugoslavia. 1945 Vienna fell to Soviet troops. 1949 Philip S. Hench and associates announced that cortizone was an effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. 1959 A Vatican edict prohibited Roman Catholics from voting for Communists. 1960 The first navigational satellite was launched into Earth's orbit. 1961 The U.N. General Assembly condemned South Africa due to apartheid. 1962 In the U.S., major steel companies rescinded announced price increases. The John F. Kennedy administration had been applying pressure against the price increases. 1970 An oxygen tank exploded on Apollo 13, preventing a planned moon landing. 1984 U.S. President Reagan sent emergency military aid to El Salvador without congressional approval. 1984 Christopher Walker was killed in a fight with police in New Hampshire. Walker was wanted as a suspect in the kidnappings of 11 young women in several states. 1990 The Soviet Union accepted responsibility for the World War II murders of thousands of imprisoned Polish officers in the Katyn Forest. The Soviets had previously blamed the massacre on the Nazis. 1998 NationsBank and BankAmerica announced a $62.5 billion merger, creating the country's first coast-to-coast bank. 1998 Dolly, the world's first cloned sheep, gave natural birth to a healthy baby lamb. 1999 Jack Kervorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, MI, to 10 to 25 years in prison for the second-degree murder of Thomas Youk. Youk's assisted suicide was videotaped and shown on "60 Minutes" in 1998. 2000 It was announced that 69 people had died when the Arlahada, a Philippine ferry, capsized. 70 people were rescued. 2002 Twenty-five Hindus were killed and about 30 were wounded when grenades were thrown by suspected Islamic guerrillas near Jammu- Kashir. 2007 Google announced that it had acquired the advertising service company DoubleClick for $3.1 billion. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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