Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, July 25 ___________________________________________________ Today, July 25 in 1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English Channel in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in 37 minutes. He was the first to fly across the channel. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Kansas City man charged in shooting death of pregnant woman ______________________________________________________ I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room. --- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662) The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. --- Joe Ancis _____________________________________________________ One evening, impressed by a meat entree his wife had prepared, the husband asked, "What did you marinate this in?" The wife dropped her fork and went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn't be the same without him. She must have seen the confused look on her husbands face, because she inquired, "What did you ask me?" When he told her what he'd asked, the wife laughed and said, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" Later, as she was cleaning up the kitchen, the husband called out, "Hey, hon, WOULD you marry me again?" Without hesitation she replied, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce." _____________________________________________________ Robert D. Boss ___________________________________________________ Anni cames home from the Peace Corps in Uganda and surprised her Mother who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoth ball soup. The mother is so thrilled she can't stop hugging and kissing her daughter. Finally she says, "Sit down, darling. Tell me all about what you were doing." Anni says, "Mom, I got married." "Oy, mazeltov," says Anni's mother. "How could you do that without telling me? What's he like? What does he do? Where is he?" "He's waiting outside on the porch while I tell you." "What are you talking about? Bring him in. I want to meet my new son-in-law." Anni brings him in and to her consternation her mother sees a black man standing before her wearing a big grin, a feathered cod piece, an enormous head dress, animal tooth beads and he is holding a very tall spear in an upright position. Anni's mother grabs her, slaps her back and forth on both cheeks and screams, "Dummy, Stupid, You Idiot. . .I said RRRICH doctor!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jovon Burrell, 19, Kansas City, Missouri, USA Kansas City man charged in shooting death of pregnant woman A Kansas City man has been charged in the fatal shooting of a pregnant woman who was pushing a baby stroller. Jovon Burrell, 19, was charged Wednesday with second-degree murder and armed criminal action in the death of 20-year- old Diamon Eichlburger, She was killed Monday at a convenience store in east Kansas City. Burrell told police a passenger in his car, whom he didnt know, shot Eichlburger and he didnt know why, the Jackson County prosecutors office said Wednesday. Eichlburgers boyfriend told police they were leaving the store with a 1-year-old child when a car stopped and someone inside asked, Aint you Diamon? When Eichlburger said yes, someone in the car began shooting, prosecutors said. The child was not injured. Eichlburgers boyfriend told police she was four months pregnant. Burrell acknowledged writing a post on Facebook after the shooting that ended with she dead she dead, and panned between the crime scene and a gun on someones lap. But he said the post was a coincidence and not related to Eichlburgers death, according to the court documents. 19-y.o. Jovon Burrell has been charged w/ 2nd-degree murder in this case. In addition to many other pieces of evidence, he posted "Fu** a succa bitch she dead she dead" shortly after Diamon's homicide on his Facebook page. 19-y.o. Jovon Burrell has been charged w/ 2nd-degree murder in this case. In addition to other many other pieces of evidence, he posted "Fu** a succa bitch she dead she dead" shortly after Diamon's homicide on his Facebook page. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Chuck RE: Gmail out of space panic Dear Webby, My Gmail claims it is out of space and that I will be unable to receive more mail. What do I have to do now? I don't want to buy extra space with monthly billing! I looked on the help forums, but they are no help, just everybodt whining about there not being an option to dump old years. Chuck Dear Chuck Yes, the forums may help on some topics, but not that. Google wants you to pay $27 or more per year for extra storage. Dumping old years would eliminate the need for more space, so they will axe any suggestion for doing that. Charging people $27.95 for ancient stuff, that they will never look at again, is, -in my not so humble opinion-, a stupidity tax. Well, here is the tax refund: 1) dump the trash 2) dump the spam 3) make a hot-key for "Select All" To make that more difficult, they renamed that to "Keyboard Shortcuts". Click on the little gear near top right See All Settings Scoot down to Keyboard Shortcuts and turn them ON Then click on Keyboard Shortcuts Yes, I know, this is a hassle, but remember, you are fighting the emperor and his demand for 27 Trillion bucks. In there find "Select all conversations" and assign the "`" key to that. ` is the top left key on the keyboard, to the left of the 1 Then find "Delete" and assign the 1 to it. Assigning those keys to those commands is extremely important, and you only have to do it once. After that, all your devices that get onto Gmail will be able to use those hotkeys, ahem "Keyboard Shortcuts" in yuppie language. Got that done? Good! Reward yourself with a coffee. Now go back to the INBOX On top of the mail subject lines you see 1-00 of .... If it is not 1-100, change it to 100 Put the cursor on it and select OLDEST. That puts your oldest mails on top. Now hit your hotkeys! Select All Delete 100 of the oldest mails are GONE! Just keep whacking those two keys and dump ancient emails that you will never going to re-read anyway. After you did that for a while and check space, you are still high! Well, the emperor does not let you go without a fight. Deleting stuff does not really delete it. It just relables it with it's location marked as TRASH. It is still on the same shelf, but got a TRASH sticker on it. OK, so dump the TRASH. It will ask you if you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to dump the trash. OK, dump it. NOW look at the space used / available. Next time you are on the phone waiting for somebody at the bank to wake up, Check that you got OLDEST selected, and whack your two hotkeys. It will take some time to get from 2004 to last year, but having all that space again is worth it! `1 `1 `1 `1 Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Greg called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds for the suit. "I've got grounds, all right," sputtered Greg. "Can you believe Keli told me I'm a lousy lover?" "That's why you're suing?" pursued his lawyer. "Of course not. I'm suing because she knows the difference." _____________________________________________ A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and ask for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays" The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?" The Rabbi softly speaks, "My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it." ____________________________________________ >From MaryLou We live in the country and have to carry our drinking water. One night I had made a pitcher of lemonade for dinner. My husband was quietly drinking his. When I picked mine up and took a drink, I had to run to the sink, choking and gagging, and spit it out. Instead of water, I had made the lemonade with white vinegar! "Why didn't you say something? I could have choked to death!" I yelled at him. "I've been eating your cooking for 30 years," he answered. I guess I'm just used to it." You see, I used to carry water in vinegar jugs, but not anymore! | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today July 25 in 0326 Constantine refused to carry out the traditional pagan sacrifices. 1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general expulsion of Jews from France. 1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. 1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in Japan and ordered all Christians to leave. 1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism to Roman Catholicism. 1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara in Canada. 1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at Aboukir, Egypt. 1805 Aaron Burr visited New Orleans with plans to establish a new country, with New Orleans as the capital city. 1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with Britain, France and the United States. 1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR. 1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt. 1861 The Crittenden Resolution, which called for the American Civil War to be fought to preserve the Union and not for slavery, was passed by the U.S. Congress. 1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He was the first American officer to hold the rank. 1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper. 1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan. 1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English Channel in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in 37 minutes. He was the first to fly across the channel. 1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian sovereignty. 1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians. 1939 W2XBS TV in New York City presented the first musical comedy seen on TV. The show was "Topsy and Eva." 1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets. 1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was overthrown in a coup. 1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device. 1952 Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the U.S. 1978 Louise Joy Brown, the first test-tube baby, was born in Oldham, England. She had been conceived through in-vitro fertilization. 1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space station Salyut 7. 1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that had existed between them since 1948. 1998 The USS Harry S. Truman was commissioned and put into service by the U.S. Navy. 1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only the second American to win the race. 2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004-2010. 2016 Verizon Communications agreed to purchase Yahoo!'s operating business for $4.83 billion with the intention to merge it with AOL 2020 Do smiled. |
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