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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 13, in 1942, Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile referred to as the "Soybean Car" to help with the war effort. The car was 30% lighter than the average car but the Ironworkers and the media did not like it. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Arrest made in shooting death of Joliet woman _____________________________________________________ Q The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore. --- Randy K. Milholland Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower ____________________________________________________ Ida at the office said that with all the new transplants they're doing, she'd like to see about being a virgin again. But Sophie just laughed and said, "And just where do you think they'd find a donor?" __________________________________________________ A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother, Mrs. Goldberg, he has fallen in love and is going to get married. He says to his mother, "Just for fun, Momma, tomorrow I'm going to bring three women to your house to meet you, and you can try and guess which one I'm going to marry." Of course, Mrs. Goldberg agrees. The next day he brings three beautiful women into his mother's house and sits them all down on her couch. They chat for a while with Mrs. Goldberg, who serves them coffee and pastries. That evening, after the three women have left Mrs. Goldberg's home, the son says, "Okay, Momma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The redhead." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Jermaine Mandley, 48, Bolingbrook, Illinois, USA Arrest made in shooting death of Joliet woman Police on Tuesday arrested 48-year-old Jermaine Mandley, of Bolingbrook, in connection to a shooting that left a Joliet woman dead in a parked car earlier this week. According to Joliet Police, Mandley is charged in the death of 24-year-old Maya Smith who was found dead in a parked car in the 1200 block of Clement Street Sunday. A two-year-old girl was in the backseat unharmed. The child was checked over by doctors and placed in the care of family members. Mandley's bond is set a $5 million. Mandley was located on the south side of Chicago Tuesday evening. ___________________________________________________  MY turf ___________________________________________________ Daughter: Mom, Can I have some money for a new dress? Mother: Go ask your father, dear. You are getting married in a month and you need the practise. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Peter King, Calgary Magpies wanted to mooch a bit of the Coyotes lunch. I don't think this was gonna happen by the canines face expression. That is not a smile! When they suck in their breath through their teeth, then they will usually explode into frantic activity in a few seconds. _______________________________________________ One day I had to be the bearer of bad news and I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not a minute later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he died from a "massive internal fart." ____________________________________________________ A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Eddy RE: Phone via landline Dear Webby I used to use my computer for calling out and receiving calls, and even send and receive fax, but with W10 that does not seem to work anymore. Is there a way around that problem? Eddy Dear Eddy Yes, nowadays they expect you to have a Sillyphone and connect via that. I don't have one of those either, so I generally use Skype for that. Calling phones is 1 cent (Euro), about 2 US cents, per minute anywhere in the world. You can text SMS to cell phones, though I usually use that feature only if I want to leave a text message when somebody is asleep or away. If the other side has Skype, then the calls are free, and you can toggle to video. I rarely use that feature, since it encourages people to talk a lot longer. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." ____________________________________________________ Today, January 13 in 1128, Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an army of God. 1794, U.S. President Washington approved a measure adding two stars and two stripes to the American flag, following the admission of Vermont and Kentucky to the union. 1854, Anthony Faas of Philadelphia, PA, was granted the first U.S. patent for the accordion. He made improvements to the keyboard and enhanced the sound. 1893, Britain's Independent Labor Party, a precursor to the current Labor Party, met for the first time. 1898, Emile Zola's "J'accuse" was published in Paris. 1900, In Austria-Hungary, Emperor Franz Joseph decreed that German would be the language of the imperial army to combat Czech nationalism. 1906, Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, advertised radio receivers for sale for the price of just $7.50 in "Scientific American" magazine. 1928, Ernst F. W. Alexanderson gave the first public demonstration of television. 1942, Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile referred to as the "Soybean Car." The car was 30% lighter than the average car but the Ironworkers and the media did not like it. 1966, Elizabeth Montgomerys character, Samantha, on "Bewitched," had a baby. The baby's name was Tabitha. 1966, Robert C. Weaver became the first black Cabinet member when he was appointed Secretary of Housing and Urban Development by U.S. President Johnson. 1984, Wayne Gretzky extended his NHL consecutive scoring streak to 45 games. 1986, "The Wall Street Journal" printed a real picture on its front page. The journal had not done this in nearly 10 years. The story was about artist, O. Winston Link and featured one of his works. 1990, L. Douglas Wilder of Virginia, the nation's first elected black governor, took the oath of office in Richmond. 1992, Japan apologized for forcing tens of thousands of Korean women to serve as sex slaves for Japanese soldiers during World War II. 1998, NBC agreed to pay almost $13 million for each episode of the TV show E.R. It was the highest amount ever paid for a TV show. 1998, ABC and ESPN negotiated to keep "Monday Night Football" for $1.15 billion a season. 1998, One of the 110 missing episodes of the British TV show "Doctor Who" was found in New Zealand. 2002, Japan and Singapore signed a free trade pact that would remove tariffs on almost all goods traded between the two countries. 2002, U.S. President George W. Bush fainted after choking on a pretzel. 2009, Ethiopian military forces began pulling out of Somalia, where they had tried to maintain order for nearly two years. 2022 Do smiled.
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